A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I was with my boyfriend for 5 and 1/2 years. Everyone always said that we were great together... we were so in-love. Two weeks ago we broke up. He said that he no longer could be with me. He gave me no explaination. Needless to say, we got back together a couple days later. Well it all happened again, and now it has officially been 1 1/2 weeks that we have not been together. We do have a 3 year old daughter together. Today he announced to me that he has a girlfriend. Then he proceeded to bring her with him to drop off my daughter. Now I am completely broken hearted. Not only does he have a girlfriend after a 1 1/2, but he no longer wants anything to do with me. I still love him, and want to be friends with him. I would like to know how someone can be so cold-hearted. Why would he flaunt his girlfriend, and what should I do for my broken heart. Any suggestions would help.
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (2 November 2008):
 I am really sorry for what you are going through. I think for him to bring his 'girlfriend' with him to collect your daughter is not very nice. Maybe he just did it to rub your nose in it to make you feel jealous and upset. If you think really deeply. has anything happened to make him become so cold and want to break up with you. It looks like he is trying to pay you back for something. If you really can't think of why you have broken up the only thing you can do is to stop having any unnecessary dealings with him. Don't phone, text.e-mail or write asking for reasons just leave him alone. He may be the type who expects constant attention and for you to run after him all the time as he knows how much you care for him so in this situation I would let him stew in his own juice. If you are strong enough I would basically ignore him. Let him come and pick up your child but you are quite within your rights to say that you don't know this person he is bringing with him and don't feel happy about anyone you don't know having any influence over your daughter. You have only been on a break for 1.5 weeks so she can hardly be classed as his girlfriend.
As I have said the best thing to do here is to just do nothing. Leave him well alone and make no contact. I imagine he won't like this and will be back in touch very soon. It will be a shock to him that you are not chasing after him and that will make him think 'what is going on here'. When he calls don't be too demanding , just friendly and open but don't ask questions such as why did we break up, when are you coming back etc etc , just make light chit chat. When he sees you as the better person looking after his child and behaving decently he will want to come back under his own steam. I am very sure this will all blow over but in the mean time keep your chin up and look after you and your daughter. All the best,
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