A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 13. One day my best guy friend asked for pictures of me in a sports bra. Well I told him no and he asked and asked and kept asking. I've took pictures like that before (Not sexual) making sure not to show anything. Well It was 2:30 am and I got tired of the asking and I was tired, and stupid, so I sent him one (Not sexual) but a little cleavage. I deleted all the pics I took after 30 seconds. I feel so much guilt and shame. I'm so scared, he also won't answer me now so I'm scared that his mother has his phone. The worst part is... he has a girlfriend.
View related questions:
has a girlfriend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (24 July 2017):
 OP, you have the right to say NO and you have a right to let you NO's mean NO.
This guy is a creep! He is a total jerk.
If I were you, I'd cut contact with him and maintain your standards. Make sure that in future when you say no that you mean no and if anyone gets upset, they can take a hike!
Do not send pictures like this to anyone. It is not safe and it can get you into a lot of trouble. If ever you feel pressured again, talk to someone or come back here for reassurance AND Do not let any guy feel like you owe them anything.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 July 2017):
 Just remember OP
YOU don't owe ANYONE naked or semi naked pictures of you. NO ONE.
And saying NO to people - it IS OK!! I do it every day! :) I have enforced that in my kids as well ( I have 2 teenage daughters) and they are pretty good at it. My middle one (15) had some 18-year-old senior ask her out and then when she said no thanks (she said it very nicely) he then went straight to asking for nude pictures... And she turned that down too but NOT so nicely. Which again I thought was GOOD.
You can do it.
Live and learn, honey.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2017): It's me... the girl who wrote it. I read every one and thank you. It helped a lot. And for the person who asked questions about "feeling I owed him" I sorta did. I felt pressured to do it. Anyway thank you so much for answering me it helped so much.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 July 2017):
I have to ask WHY did you send them? Did you feel like you "owed" him those pictures? That he wouldn't talk to you unless you send some? WHY?
Your first instinct when he asked was to tell him no. Which is GOOD. You should have stuck with that. You are 13. You have NO idea who is going to SEE that picture. His family, his GF, his friends and then what? Is that really what you want? A picture of you in your sports-bra floating around out "there"?
So you KNOW better. this is why I asked WHY did you do it?
And then there is the whole "he has a GF" again, wouldn't it bother YOU if you had a BF and his female friends sent him pictures like that?
Think about it.
I'm not trying to SHAME you for what you did. Everyone makes mistakes and do STUPID stuff - you just KNEW better but didn't ACT better. If you know what I mean.
LEARN from this. You don't owe ANY boy ANY pictures of you in any state of undressed. NOT a SINGLE one. And when you tell a guy NO, it's OK to KEEP it a no. You don't OWE them a "yes" eventually.
Also, your friend AND yourself CAN get in trouble over these kinds of pictures. Because you are under the age of consent it IS considered CHILD exploitation. different states have different laws. But it CAN lead YOU in hot water.
Remember this WHATEVER you put out there on the internet and over text/IM/phone is OUT there "forever". School starts up in a few weeks, right? Is that REALLY something you want to see go around the school?
CALL this friend, TELL him to DELETE it and NOT send it to anyone. Or you will have your MOM/DAD call his parents so it can be deleted. (even if you don't want to tell your parents, the threat might make him delete it instantly).
There is NO NEED to be ashamed of how you look. And there is NO NEED to send pictures like that to have a guy VALIDATE you.
Many people have bikini pictures on Facebook from holidays so it's not anything dirty or bad - but if you don't WANT to send a guy pictures then say no and stick to it. And a guy with a GF? Big no no. It's just not right and I think you know that too.
You sound like a smart girl who did a dumb thing. Well, welcome to your teenage years :)
Live and learn, OP
And if you think he won't delete it or that he would share it with someone TELL your parents. Admit and OWN your own actions.
...............................
A
female
reader, CoreMessage  +, writes (23 July 2017):
 Hi, I've recently had my 14th birthday, but when I was 13, I had a similar experience. To cut a long story short, met a guy on holiday, thought he was perfect, exchanged numbers, he kept asking for pics. I kept saying no but he kept asking. But, I knew what he was after. I knew what he was going to do with them pics. So one day, I snapped and I told him, no, I'm not sending them. And I stopped talking to him.And honestly, OP, I think that's what you should do too. You need to have a long think. What kind of "best friend" pressures you and pressures you to send pics. You have told him over and over again that you don't want to send them. Anyone who isn't respectful enough to consider your opinion isn't worth your time. If he's over-aged, he has been grooming you. And that's not cool. I think you should tell someone. Your parents, a trusted relative or a trusted adult. Also, he has a girlfriend. Now, you could choose to leave their relationship be. But think, how many girls do you think he's pressured? Doesn't his gf deserve to know who she's really dating. But of course, it's up to your judgement. Go with your gut. But there's a lesson to be learned. I learned it, and you have too. If a guy still pressures after you say no, he's not worth you. I hope this helps!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2017): It's ok sweetheart.. . I have some pictures stashed away of some men's bits that I never even asked for. How scared do you think they feel? If you think they don't feel scared then you're wrong! They think they can get away with abusing us by forcing us to send rude pictures etcetc, whilst splaying their appendages for all to see. I think not. he played on your sweetness and kindness! It's very sly. Your so called friend is a bully, he will get his come uppance!
Forcing someone to do something they don't want to do is an emotional rape and I'm sorry you went through that.
Be strong, you will be fine. You did nothing wrong. he manipulated you. he is the bad one here.
God bless you!
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (23 July 2017):
 P.S. If your "best friend" asks again, ask him if you can check with his girlfriend and his mum that they know what he is doing. THAT should put a swift stop to it.
I am hoping he is of a similar age to you, not someone older, and that these requests are just the result of natural curiosity of youth. If he is someone older, you really need to cut him off completely - he is grooming you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (23 July 2017):
Sweetheart, as a 13 year old girl, you should not be sending this sort of photograph.
I would question just what sort of a best friend keeps asking for this sort of photo until they wear you down.
Learn your lesson, NEVER send photos like that unless YOU want to (when you are older, obviously) and SWITCH YOUR PHONE OFF at night. You need to sleep.
...............................
|
