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He always accuses me of cheating, but I didn't!

Tagged as: Cheating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 December 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 2 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi... I would really appreciate your help, because i am really desperate now... My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months now.. i never done anything that could make him think that i like someone else, except going out a few times, and drinking a bit.. He thinks that i cheated on him, but i never did! He always finds reasons to argue with me, and he leaves me crying, and begging him not to leave me coz i did nothing.. That happened a few times... That was earlier.. now, i tell him to stop doing that, and i tell him that he is the only one for me, which he is.. But he always finds something.. when i am going from his place, i go home, but he thinks that i am going to some other guy.. when i don't tell him when i go out, even to the store, he thinks i am going to meet someone.. i deleted my facebook account because he was jealous when someone added me as a friend, and i didn't accept it.. he is always jealous.. Now, everything was cool yesterday.. and this morning i got a text from him saying: ' You don't have to call me ever again, you proved who you love and appreciate' i was like :' Wtf?!' i was sure he had a dream or something.. But then he continued with the crap, and said:' if you don't admit that you cheated on me, i will leave you.. ' and i kept saying there was nothing to admit, but then he said he will leave me if i don't tell him the truth.. but i was telling the truth.. I don't know what to do with him anymore... he is the only one for me, and i love him, but what's he doing is not normal, right? i don't know how to prove him that he is wrong.. i never cheated on him, nor i ever will.. i don't meet my male friends anymore, i don't go out with my girl friends because he would think that i'll meet someone and like someone else.. I deleted numbers from my phone, i stopped talking to this guy in my class, cuz my boyfriend was jealous of him.. i even stopped wearing tights... cuz i look too good in them.. i don't know how to react on this today, cuz i really did nothing, and he wants to leave me because he thinks i did.. i know i sound pathetic.. but i really love him,and he loves me too. other than this thing, where he doesn't trust me, everything is cool... there are some things, but, this is what's bothering me now.. does anyone know what should i do?? :(

View related questions: cheated on me, facebook, jealous, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you guys.. i also suspected that he cheated, but how do i know that?:/

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010):

If you have been nowhere near cheating,give no reason for suspicion, then he is judging you from his own standards.

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A male reader, ltinajero8 United States +, writes (31 December 2010):

he's cheating.he control's what you do so there is no way someone might find out he's cheating and tell you, our he just feel's bad and has a guilty conscience for what he did. i know you love me but you deserve someone better leave him... good luck

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A female reader, feelingsputtogether United States +, writes (30 December 2010):

feelingsputtogether agony auntYou said he doesn't trust you. What more do you need to know. If you are at peace with yourself then you have nothing to prove. I get that you love him but there is no way some one can love you and not trust you at the same time. If he tells you again that he will leave you if you don't admit to cheating on him, then tell him that it breaks your heart that he leaves but you will not admit to something you didn't do and that you are at peace with yourself and that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Now if you want to turn the table on him you probably could. Look him straight inthe eye and say "well the only explanation I can find to your insistance of me cheating is becuase you are probably the one doing it but since you are going to leave then I don't care anymore". He knows that you are willing to beg him to stay every single time he pulls out the cheating card on you so don't let him do it to you anymore. Stand your ground and he begs to stay or come back if he leave don't give so easily. Changes are he will do the same again. Be strong and don't let him or anyone put you down.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (30 December 2010):

dirtball agony auntperson12345 beat me to the punch. He's definitely cheating on you. Not to mention being emotionally abusive. Be done with that jerk. He's made you a wreak over what? His insecurity, jealousy, controlling behavior, and abuse. Sounds like a real catch to me!

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A male reader, JustinNki United States +, writes (30 December 2010):

JustinNki agony auntI wanna say, he's crazy and get rid of him,

but I can't. Because Ive been that boyfriend before.

I feel like, its probably one of the two, he's a REALLY obviously a insecure boy or he's cheated on you himself and is soo paranoid of you doing the same to him.

I know those are probably cliche answers, but their probably true.

And I see/hear more and more about relationships, a lot have to do with controlling boyfriends and its because a man has his pride and wants to prove himself of being a man but deep down they are messed up in the head and insecure and sensitive.

If you are willing to be treated like that, and not wear tights and stuff like that, and keep being accused, then stay in the relationship. If its too hard on you, then I say get out.

I know you talked to him, but maybe you really need to slap some sense into him and threten if he keeps degrading you and making you feel guilty then scare him and mention that you will, he needs to stop, and in reality, the lies he says in his head could soon possibly become true....

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (30 December 2010):

person12345 agony auntI hate to say this, but this is called a projection. It sounds like he's the one who's cheating. Anyone who irrationally starts accusing their partner of cheating out of the blue and constantly, is probably feeling guilty about their own affair.

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