A
female
age
51-59,
*airy Godmother
writes:I'm just following up on a question I posed on 12 August, which explained how I had sex with someone I have worked with and been friends with for nearly 3 years. (We are late 30s/early 40s and both fairly recently single after long-term relationships.)I haven't seen him since we had sex, which was over two weeks ago, although we texted a few days after it happened. The sex was wonderful, passionate, intimate, adventurous and caring, with lots of cuddling, affection and chatting afterwards. I believe he felt at least some if not all of that list too.I'm in that horrible female place now of feeling even more attracted and attached to him than I did before (too many post-sex chemicals!), whilst feeling that it was probably a very different experience for him since he has not been in touch (although he has just returned from a week abroad).This certainly wasn't a one-night-stand with a stranger but nor was it a traditional date. Can any men out there enlighten me on where I can possibly go with this? I think he's wonderful and I want him to whisk me off my feet.We will be back at work together next week and I don't know which "Hello, how are you?" way to be with him (i.e. just as we were before as if nothing had happened, with a twinkle in my eye or with a questioning look to see if he is giving anything away).Have I sold myself cheap? Have I spoilt what could have been a 'proper' relationship, or have I got him thinking that if we have been friends all this time, we get on well, have lots in common and have great sex, I could be the soulmate he has been searching for and told me he had given up hope of ever finding?Very confused and still full of chemicals! Glad of any advice, particularly from a male perspective.
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at work, cheap, co-worker, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 Sounds like a good sign, and that you are "playing your cards" right. In my opinion, you should still let him lead the way. Stay friendly but do not make any moves until he begins chasing you. Generally, men like at least a bit of a challenge, although I respond well to a "come on" as well.
A
female
reader, Fairy Godmother +, writes (27 August 2008):
Fairy Godmother is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well, he got back from his travels two days ago and last night I had a text asking how I was with a kiss. We exchanged a few friendly texts (I kept it light-hearted, although I did include a kiss at the end of my text too).
Feel very happy he has got in touch but it remains to be seen whether this leads to anything more.
Please keep your fingers (and everything else) crossed for me!
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A
female
reader, Fairy Godmother +, writes (26 August 2008):
Fairy Godmother is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWill try and keep all these feelings in check when I see him but it will be an Oscar-winning performance! Thank you for your advice.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 August 2008):
Ummm. Well, I'm not him. Only he is him, but in my opinion, the first moment you see him again you should be friendly but cool, until you can assess his response to you. It's not "as if nothing happened," but the ball in his court, so to speak. If he wants more, I think you will know it, but I do not think that you should go all gushy over him by any means at this point.
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