A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have done something really stupid. In a fit of rage over my husband's affair with a work colleague (and very drunk) I sent some emails designed to get her into bother. Although it did achieve that purpose it has also got him into a very precarious situation and he may be forced to leave because of the results of my interfering.Do you think it serves him bl**dy well right or do you think I've gone to far and been spiteful and vindictive? I feel awful for doing it now but at the time I just wanted revenge on her. I had no intention of hurting him cos in spite of everything I still love him and we are trying to rebuild our marriage.Thank you for your opinions.
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affair, drunk, revenge Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): Your husband caused this. Now he knows not to cross you. I also had my ex's mistress fired. When she got a new job I got her fired from there. She tried to sue me for harassment and I counter sued for adultery, which is illegal in my country; if you have a registered marriage you can sue your husband and his b*tch over here. She messed with the wrong woman. My ex was humiliated to nothing and I didn't care whether it put him in a precarious position or not. What did I gain? Satisfaction. Would do it again several times over.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): Thank you 'Ask oldersister' you have summed up how I feel. Also, thank you to the first reply from the lady who did the same thing herself.
I hate myself being reduced to these depths but the feelings of betrayal and hurt are consuming me to the point that I can't think straight.
Any wife in the same position MUST know how it feels.
How, if ever, does one get over this despair and turmoil??
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): You do not owe him or her an explanation or apology. Stop being SO ANGRY at her. It was your hbs dick in her. HE is equally to blame. You are sending him the wrong message. they both needed to get into trouble. F*cking around at work is wrong. They both deserve to get what is coming to them. Try not feeling guilty. What does he have to say for his affair. What do you do the next time when he cheats. Believe me, he thinks he got away with murder and babes, he will open that zip to another woman. cheated wives make the mistake of only blaming the other woman - their "innocent faithful" gets away and continues to f*ck around. The enemy is closer home- You have a cheat in your bed -
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 January 2010):
I understand you were angry, but you may have made a big mistake. This happened to someone my girlfriend knows, and he was more or less frozen out of the firm,lost his job and then his wife who had been wronged in the first place ended up next to homeless because he left her blaming her and moved on. You've also missed the point that it was your husband having the affair. She may be able to claim compensation for all this. Not to mention that it may make it harder for your husband to get work, and in turn he might not forgive you for it. So just be ready to say sorry to your husband if it does backfire, because though you were wrong, this might have a terrible effect.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (25 January 2010):
Yep, you've probably just caused your marriage more bother.
How did you think that she would get into trouble but everyone would just say to your husband "don't worry mate, fancy a cup of tea?"
HE is the married one, and people would probably think HE should have kept it in his pants rather than cheating on you and using her.
So anyway. You're going to be in major bother from him.
Your best bet is to apologise and explain how hurt you still are about it. If you are going to try and get your marriage back on track then you HAVE to forgive him for what he did, and that does not mean placing all the blame on her. Accept he wronged you and then forgive him, and then hope he forgives you for getting him sacked.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): I did the same thing when my husband had his first affair. It resulted in the woman being terminated and my husband who was a partner in the firm being black balled so to speak. It caused a lot of trouble. The silly tart went to a lawyer and got about £20k compensation which my husband had to pay and then my husband was bought out by his partners. Even though financially it caused us as a family a load of hassle I am glad I did what I did. It taught her a valuable lesson in life and it was worth it. She had to have councelling for years after it. Very childish I accept and stupid financially but worth it for the satisfaction it gave me.
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