A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I can't believe this happened the way it did but here goes. I went to a party with a girl I have been trying to get interested in me for weeks. She got extrememly drunk and she passed out. I took her to my place and she kinda woke up a little bit and she was really coming on to me but I am not the type of guy that can take advantage of a girl like that. I put her in bed in the spare room and she got up in the middle of the night to come into my room but she was so trashed that she went into my room mates room and had sex with him. She was so trashed she didn't know that it wasn't me. When I woke up to check on her she was gone. My room mate acted as though nothing had happened but I went to her house and she would not let me in. Finally her room mate came out and she said she would talk to me later and that she was really hung over. She finally called me and told me she was really sorry about what happened and I didn't know what she was talking about but I got enough information out of her to figure out what happened. I went over to my room mate in the kitchen and I just tackled him and started hitting him in the face. I blacked his eye. I didn't even give him a warning. He and I are no longer room mates. Well the thing is I really like this girl. She is not a drinker and I want to see her still but I am having a lot of issues. Has too much happened for us to have a chance of making it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): God help this poor girl. You sound like a really nice guy and I think you should arrange to meet this girl, explain what happenned and see how it goes. Be open and honest. Chances are she was so trashed that she didn't really have a clue what she was doing and feels desperately ashamed about it. Give her a chance and see how it goes. Sounds like she needs a decent guy to help her down the right road. Go for it, all she can say is no!
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (29 April 2010):
 It depends on what really happened. Did she: a) Really just want to have sex with someone and since you didn't want to she found your roommate? or b) Get so drunk that she truly didn't know what she was doing?
Both are scary and pose their own set of problems, but you have to find out exactly what you are dealing with. With choice a, the alcohol could've just made it easier to do what she needed just to get some action. With choice b, drinking THAT much is pretty bad.
In my opinion, the "blacked out" or "I was so drunk I didn't know what I was doing" excuse is used WAY too much. 9 times out of 10 that is really just an excuse. How long have you known this girl? Do you really know her and know she wouldn't do something like this?
There's nothing wrong with giving her a chance. If it really was a mistake on her part, then a relationship could work.... but I'd reserve any trust for a little later in the relationship, after she's earned it.
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