A
male
age
30-35,
*iko1123
writes:Well to cut it short basically im married and have been for 5 years. One day my wife left my house as she says she was getting a few bits and peices from the shop and yet was gone 3 hours. On return she couldnt wait to get out the house to go to work so i sugessed a quicky as you do, she quickly ran into the bathroom and took her own pants off, which i thought was weird at first, then when i stuck my hand in between her legs to make her wet she already was but she was cold and open like shes not long had sex. after i went to do some washing and picked up her knickers and pants she took off and felt something soggy which lookd like seaman when i looked ive confronted her time and time again but she gets defencive all the time. this is seriously braking me and i know the truth will hurt but i need to know coz its sending me insane would much appriciate some advice cause i love my wife to bits and i dont know how to deal with this.
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female
reader, jls022 +, writes (17 November 2015):
'I wouldnt leave her if she admitted it i just need to know so i can move on'
But OP she's already told you! Many of the aunts and uncles here have also told you that there are many explanations for what you saw and the way she acted, yet you don't want to hear it.
I'm not saying you are definitely wrong, but you are not definitely right either. You are pushing her to confess something she may not have done without stopping to consider that what she's telling you might be true.
Being honest, it sounds as if this is coming from the fact you know she is capable of cheating rather than any solid proof. So just stop, take a deep breath and calm down. If you really believe she is cheating then you can start watching a bit more closely and see if she gives herself away in time. But you really need to let this one go as all you will do is push her away if you keep trying to force her to change her story.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2015): Sometimes I rush to the bathroom when my partner asks for sex so I can quickly wash myself down there to be fresh for sex.
A woman's private area really does need to be kept clean as it does get discharge etc.
I always rush to the shower when I come home from being outside.
I bet your wife just ran to the bathroom to wash herself as she had been out of the house for a while and felt like a shower ! And didn't want you coming close to her body as she was feeling unclean.
If you continually accuse her or are suspicious of her doing something That she is not you will just push her away
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2015): Ok I have actually been accused of this very thing myself by my ex boyfriend. I had been at the gym and when I got back he wanted to have sex. I insisted on showering first (because I'd been at the gym!) and he thought that was suspicious. He then decided that he could 'feel and smell' semen from another man in me/my underwear when in fact it was just normal discharge that I have regularly. It's just that he'd never been looking for it before (I bet if you look at her dirty underwear you'd see this is something she has all the time).Sadly, no amount of talking or googling could convince him otherwise. I eventually ended it with him because I refuse to be constantly accused of something I've not done. So I'd suggest you stop harassing her and realise that you could be wrong about this. If she's cheating, you will find out in other ways in time. But if you keep going on about this, she will get sick of it and leave.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2015): You sound like you need some sort of relationship counselling. You can't keep accusing your wife. She's given you an explanation and you have nothing in terms of evidence to go on. You will drive her away if you don't find a way to let it go.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (16 November 2015):
 Smoking gun. You should have gathered more evidence before confronting.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (16 November 2015):
 It probably IS a yeast infection or something else hormonal, because honestly, we HAVE the ability to clean ourselves of semen! Unless your wife has an IQ of 10, if she were cheating, cleaning semen would be easy as pie!
You need to back off of her now. What you're doing to her would be like you having erectile dysfunction and rather than being understanding, she constantly accuses you of cheating since you surely must have gotten it somewhere else and can't get it up for her!
I'm guessing you've had trust issues the whole time, because asking for a quickie wasn't about you getting sex. It was about you being suspicious. If she had just had sex with someone else, she would have told you NO instead of taking off her pants on her own. ALSO, some women who are ovulating are slick there, and the wetness has the consistency of egg whites. That's what panty liners are for.
Also, a quickie?? Come on guy!! Where's your game?? Why not massage her back and make it a "Slowie"?? She just got back from work...where's the fire?? Wait until she's home from work and make it a mutual thing instead of some quick shaft inbetween shifts.
If she had been cheating, she would have avoided you altogether. Semen has a distinctive smell and it's not just "wet", as you know. Also, 9 times out of 10, unless she's a moron, a quick shaft would have been accompanied by a condom.
You need more than just measuring her biology and deciding how wet she's allowed to be. But you also need to not be so insecure. If she's changed, then you need more than that. If you caught her in the car with some guy, or she starts the late nights and the sexy texts, that's another thing, but you don't have anything now.
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A
male
reader, riko1123 +, writes (16 November 2015):
riko1123 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthats what she said it was discharge and she mentioned that she has problem with discharge but since when does discharge smell like fresh seaman the amount that was there i dont think it was discharge yet i try to speak about it and get nothing but abuse. and its always goin to be in the back of my head because she left her boyfriend to be with me now were married and have a one year old daughter that we had to use iui to conceive. its just killing me off cause cause i couldnt bare to lose her. a wouldnt leave her if she admitted it i just need to know so i can move on
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 November 2015):
 Wet or gunk in the panties doesn't mean she is having extramarital sex.
It can be that she has a yeast infection, it can leave some vaginal discharge that is usually white, thick, clumpy, and odorless. Maybe she ran out to the store for some meds to clear it up?
Hormonal changes, infections (bacterial for instance) the closer she gets to ovulation the vagina changes the discharge. Some days are more... let's call it wet all due to where in the cycle a woman is.
So talk to her, don't presume and don't be so ignorant as to think that the ONLY way she can have something in her panties is if she had sex.
And if I had a case of yeast infection and my husband "confronted" me over and over accusing me of cheating, I'd be pretty defensive too.
Maybe she WAS embarrassed about having a yeast infection!
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