A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm trying to better understand motivations for men cheating. So all the men out there...IF your woman is very attractive, always sexually available and ready for you, gives you massages, regularly cooks meals, works and pays her own share, gets along with you well and is generally easy-going, doesn't nag or fight, shares common interests with you, confidently is faithful to only you.Would you still cheat on her and if so why? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011): Chigirl makes a good series of points. I am a guy, and this guy sounds like a player. You might want to talk to his ex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): I will try to give you my situation in a nutshell. I am a woman and was unhappily married at the time ( 6 years ). He was my next door neighbor and he supposidly was a serial cheater. My sex life was stale and basically my husband ( at the time) and I became friends that had kids together. One day (my married with kids neighbor) Josh started looking at me in a sexual way. ( I was so surprised!) He had my phone number because I was friendly with his wife & we would babysit eathother kids. One day out of the blue he text me saying that I was a sexy neighbor and thought I was hot. I tried to ignore it... but became so intrigued!! I didn't want to feel this way and was in denial. ( wanting to keep my family together) Well... we continued to text eachother for months after that. In that time I realized that I wasn't in love with my husband anymore... I wanted this guy! I never felt so wanted and sexy and just the thought of him drove me wild! My batteries felt like they had been recharged! It had been years that I felt this way about my husband. I just thought that with having kids changed my sexual desire and marriage did to and it was normal. On his end, he and his wife fought a lot and his wife was a selfish B***. I am guessing that's what drove him to cheating? His wife was telling me once that she thought he was with another woman... Anyway ( as me remaining annonymous & ashamed of myself) One day we met at a hotel and had the most mind blowing incredible sex. One week after that happened I made arrangements to leave my husband. Not because of Josh, but because I was aware of the fact that my marriage had failed and I wasn't in love with him anymore. I proceded to get divorced. It's been one year now and my kids and I are so happy in our own apartment. I did the right thing. I never saw Josh again and now have a wonderful boyfriend that I love and have an awesome relationship with Our love life is the best ever! I just wanted to give you an example of my situation :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): So just out of curiosity, whats your partner like,physically? Is he attractive, is he a good laugh and full of charm?If he attracts women then he must have something going for him. I know women who see a fit man and say 'ime having him tonight' and go for it.But it takes two.If this is the kind of man he is then there will always be temptation, and he isn't the type to resist is he..his history shows that clearly.I would get rid, it doesn't sound like you would have a problem replacing him from what you say, so why bother sticking around when you already have a doubt in your mind?
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (18 December 2011):
 I don't believe that it's because the person the cheater is with was not enough.
I believe a cheater will cheat no matter how perfect, loving, adoring, all encompassing their partner is.
Cheating is to do with the persons own selfish wants and desires. Their idea that they are more important, they put themselves first before their loved ones. They are the type of people who don't show remorse. They lack respect for their partners.
Some cheaters can change, but they have to WANT to change. Whether it be for themselves, or for a new partner who they realise they truly love. No one can force a cheater to stop. Its a decision that needs to be made from within themselves.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (18 December 2011):
 from the responses here you can see that there really are men out there who will never cheat, no matter what.
Versus the insecure egotistical thiughtless selfish men who who have ego issues. And so will cheat if thry
As Bernard so aptly puts it, these men have perfection at home, it makes them feel cocky and their ego kicks in, so they say, 'what else is out there?'
And unless a cheater re-exmines the way the cheater thinks and what motivates the cheater and how he is determined to conduct himself - and REJECTS the thought of ever cheating - then without that resolve in his heart and his mind - then he will cheat if an opportunity and circumstances arises.
But as a cunning cheat he will get smarter and smarter at evading being caught over the years.
Such a man is NOT WORTH THE PAIN.
PLEASE find a guy who is resolved to be faithful and kind and true and who will not cheat
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): I agree with chigirl. I think you should stop this relationship- he has already cheated on you most likely from what you have said, so why would you want to put yourself through all of this? He isn't worth it- if he really appreciated you you would know it. It doesn't matter how attractive or great a catch you are if he is already a serial cheater or if they don't love you enough not to cheat and not to risk losing you, he has already done that in the early stages of your relationship.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 December 2011):
 Danger, this guy has tons of red flags. Ideally you would drop this man and move on right this minute. However I know, we want to believe in the best in people, and we NEVER learn from the mistake others made. And "everyone deserve a chance" and all that stuff, you probably wont leave. But here's why you should:
It's a fairly new relationship, yet he is ALREADY talking about committing to you for life. That's a very typical phrase coming from a manipulator who wants you to buy into his shady stocks, promising you a lovely prize at the end if you only put up with his rubbish. Men who use you will say this frequently, talk about the future, talk about "the rest of their lives", and the warning sign should be when they say this TOO SOON. The relationship is brand new, there are NO grounds to come with such statements yet, so they are bullshit.
He has a history of cheating. So he cheats, and he's proud of it, since he told you about it. And he intends to cheat again, if I guess right, because he's cheated not only once, but SEVERAL times. And he thinks he can fool you into thinking he wont cheat on you, because you "get him". Excuse me, that's another load of bull. If his ex'es didn't get him then he could have broken up with them. Yet he cheated instead. And for all you know, he told them they "get him" as well. And when they stopped "getting him" he cheated rather than leave the relationship. And boo-hoo he got cheated on once. He deserves to be cheated on just as many times as he's cheated... So I do not pity him one bit.
The "male perspective" is not that ego stroking is ok. Men condone cheating as much as women, and people who are so selfish and unsatisfied with their partner, and so unappreciative of what they've got that they need to go get their ego's stroked elsewhere, well, men and women alike disapprove of that. There's no "male view" on ego stroking that someone makes it ok. It's just as bad as when a woman does it. And yes, his need to get his ego stroked is another red flag. In fact, having a suspicious episode so early in a new relationship is another red flag again. I mean men tend to cheat when they get relaxed in the relationship.. not when it is brand new and they haven't yet "sealed the deal" and brain washed the woman into believing every word they say.
Ask him bluntly how many years ago did he cheat. And how many relationships he's ever been with where he did not cheat. If he's been in one or two relationships prior to you where he did not cheat, then maybe... just MAYBE give him a chance.
But, if you're not too emotionally attached and he's not already sealed the deal with you, then I say run for the hills. This guy sounds like bad news all over. He's not appreciating what he's got, because if he was you wouldn't be on here hoping he will some day, you'd already know that he does appreciate you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow - quite a few responses. In my present situation, I'm with someone who had a history of cheating with previous girlfriends, but also got cheated on by his ex-wife, which seemed to straighten him out a bit, cause he got a dose of his own medicine. Nevertheless, the relationship is fairly new, so I'm wary. He expresses all the time how happy he is with me and how he feels I'm the first woman who "gets" him. He repeats that he's deeply committed to me, even eluding to wanting to spend the rest of his life with me. There was one situation of possibly something happening when he was out of town at a bachelor party. I nearly left him and explained that I don't ever want that to happen again, and if it does, I'm gone. (I never got confirmation of what happened that night, but there was a suspicious text from a friend on his phone that I found.) Since then, he's been very attentive to staying in touch with me if he goes out, and making a effort do more activities together. If something did happen that night, it probably involved an opportunity to stroke his ego? I suppose I just wanted to understand the male perspective, cause I apparently just don't get it.And regarding one of the responses, yes, I'm slender, attractive, and 10 years younger than him, and I'm happily that way I described to him. Everywhere I go, whether a grocery store or a bar, I get hit on, so sure, the temptation is always there for me too, but when I'm in love, none of that matters. I know I'm an awesome catch, so I want to make sure the man I'm with realizes that. I suppose time will tell if he shares that point-of-view and actually transformed himself, or is in fact the cheater he was years ago.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): They do it because they can , both men and women, nowadays the 'other' man/woman is available freely and have no morals. The person at home,the others partner, is not their problem,they don't have to deal with them. Lets face it there are even websites aimed at married people who want a fling.
Alot of the time I think the cheater feels it gives them some sort of power, like 'you may think your perfect, have me where you want me, but I do as I want still'
I think its going to be accepted as the norm in 20 years time. Something I never want part of nor ever have.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): The only time I ever came close was because my wife wasn't sexually available, or really available in any other way. She was too busy with other things to have time for me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): well i have never cheated and been in a few serious relationships. where ive loved the person i havent been even tempted - i got a smile on my face every time i turned a girl down. i think if a guy just likes a girl, if he doesnt properly care about her and hes evil enough he'll cheat. if a man loves a woman enough then he wont cheat. what motivates anyone to cheat is the taboo behind it.
also a lot of people let themsleves go in a relationship. so maybe for some guys where the motivation isnt as malicious, its just because someone outwith the relationship is taking an interest in them.
for guys who arent physically beauitful, when a girl who is very good looking gives them attention they see it as almost a major compliment
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): I for one do not believe in cheating on somebody is ever right.
But some people (males and females) can't control their animal instints. Pretty much, they are no better than a horny dog. Also, when a man cheats with a women that knows the guy is married, than the both parties should be blame.
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female
reader, Foxxy1 +, writes (17 December 2011):
If he cheats regularly then he is not in love...period... but if its a rarity let him have some fun .... Whatever you do... do not NAG! ... that will drive him away.
Hmm in what world do we allow a man who has promised commitment to just let him go have some fun...Hmm
I have read everyone's post. Very interesting indeed. The best advice is to find one who doesn't believe in cheating. Not that there is no temptation but if you already have someone who is not drawing the line in his mind already then he will be the first to fall quicker for temptation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011): Ok, Cerberus yet again wins my prize for best answer. Exactly. The guy is not cheating on his own, is he? So beware the partner-snatching females.
I think cheating is kind of multi-faceted.
It is because there is something awry in the relationship. The cheater basically feels he is not getting something he needs from his partner. That is not to say the female has done anything wrong - just that whatever she does/is, a certain type of guy will still feel disappointed.
It is also because opportunity arose. That is the pack of man-hunting other women.
It is also because of an unfortunate lack of moral fibre in the cheater, or, at best, double standards.
Cheating is a nasty business. It is the best example of the primal self taking over (and often wreaking havoc). So yes, I think that for sure some men would cheat on the perfect woman. And as someone said, they might even be less likely to cheat on the imperfect woman - because she is more real, and probably shares her emotions in a less controlled way, and so he feels more bound to her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): People cheat only because of themselves and their own internal issues.
This is really hard for the person who has been betrayed to understand and really "get it" inside of themselves.
Yet, that is what research and anecdotal reports all show.
It's all internal to the cheater, the external stuff, the other guy/gal, the husband/wife, the bf/gf, is not the cause. They may be the "trigger" in the end, but not the actual cause.
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (16 December 2011):
I have never ever contemplated cheating, but that is because I think cheating, for me, is something i don't ever want to do. I can admire, in my head another guy, but it stops there.
To me it comes down to Trust, to not wanting to destroy that trust.
It is also about strength of character, some people have a wishy washy attitude to holding their beliefs only while others
are firm in their resolve.
And between a man and a woman who are together there is an unwritten Contract. Every couple has an unwritten contract, but may not realise it. The contract will include many things, specific to that couple, and, for instance might include, 'i will tolerate your bossy sister if you don't arc up when my best friend wants to talk about her latest success with....'
But in most unwritten contracts would be an implied commitment to remain faithful to each other.
And when a person BREAKS a contract they immediately mark themselves as a person who one may not be able to TRUST in the future.
If you invested in a business with a buiness partner and six months later the business partner walked out withdrawing substantial goodwill etc from the business you invested in together, and instead chose to join the business of a rival down the street? Then all would say, 'what a dishonorable untrustworthy dis-loyal rogue' and all would know to be wary of trusting the guy ever again.
Yet guys who want to cheat will see no impediment to cheating. I think that some
malicious 'code' in their brain will not stop assuring them that cheating is OK.
And i agree with another poster that cheaters often think they are a great gift to all womankind.
Choose a man who is adamant he is against cheating.
Try to avoid a 'friend' who is clearly very interested in your man. Though that's not easy if it is one your own female family members
Discuss the issue with the cheater. Cheater is Likely to offer you platitudes and squirm. And probably not tell you the truth anyway, that's a cheater
Discuss the issue with a non-cheater and is likely that the non-cheater has reasons, motivations, attitudes that are all in sync about why cheating is not for them
So choose wisely. There are non-cheaters out there.
Cheaters cause untold distress to others, but they don't care. Because life to them is all about themselves. Their pleasure comes first. They are selfish,
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): I think cheating has more to do with the cheater's personality, character and psychology than with the person they are cheating on. Some people don't really want a monogamous lifestyle but they want to have a family and a “mom” at home(speaking of men here but the reverse could be true for women)- this is actually very common, others get sick of sex with their partner and or they follow their biological drive no matter what(we are all, men and women, mostly driven to do this but some of us don't because we know ultimately it leads to unhappiness and to a lack of fulfillment for us)- they feel justified in having multiple lovers, many lie about it and risk good relationships and destroy lives- and is it worth the extra sex and thrills and potentially reproducing more?
Others are in not completely happy relationships or they are in abusive relationships and they think the grass may be greener, it usually isn't unless the relationship is truly abusive.
Serial cheating or having multiple partners openly is like a kind of derailed narcissism, you are never completely happy with what you have, maybe because you're not really happy internally with yourself, and you always want something new. I'm not sure which is worse since many openly multiple partner types still want to have a main monogamous relationship and in the long term very few people can be happy with this if any.
So although it may be our biological drive to have multiple partners, for the majority of us this doesn't lead to happiness.
I think the way to strive to be happy is with someone who really wants monogamy and who will accept a give and take which is the normal way for two personalities to interact in a relationship. Help each other, love each other and respect the person and yourself enough to treat them well and not to cheat on them.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 December 2011):
 Having morals is not "fashionable" any more, cheating however is the new "black" it seems.
Why do they do it? Well have have a few theories. 1. they think they deserve better 2. They think they won't get caught 3. That cheating is OK as long as the partner doesn't find out. 4. they are selfish and think they are "gods" gift to the other sex. 5. some thin that their libido is more important then a monogamous relationship and those are usually the ones who will excuse it with the whole "humans" weren't meant to be monogamous crap".
Women cheat just as much as guys, so it goes both ways.
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female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (16 December 2011):
 Times are changing and as the equality between the men and women is more recognized now, cheating is not only an issue about men but also for women nowadays. Have you noticed that a lot of movies now portray women who cheat?
Try alone reading the cheating stories we have on DC, men and women cheat. And if you look into their stories, the cheating is not a result of an external force. Most of the time, it is the cheater's issue within himself. Even the hottest most lovable person can be cheated on.
A person will not cheat whatever temptations are presented to him if he himself is happy and is contented of what he is and what he has. If he is no longer happy in his relationship, he breaks up with the girl and leaves, he does not cheat. If he has fallen out of love or dislikes her personality, he does not cheat, he leaves the relationship. Same with women too.
If he cheats, it could be that this is a way for him to feed his self-esteem, an ego stroke. Or that he is too coward to break up, so he cheats. It could also mean he has disrespect towards the partner, he feels it's okay to cheat. The bottom line is, it's all about him..it's not about the girlfriend or wife. If he wants variety of girls, again, it's him, not the girl he's with that's making him a cheater.
I agree with all the posters. We can never stop a cheater from cheating but we can control the situation by carefully choosing with whom to have a relationship. Or if for once you learn that your man is has been cheating on you, there is no excuse for that, leave him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): I haven't nor will I ever. But one thing I would like to add to the very good replies you have gotten so far. We couldn't cheat if there weren't so many women out there willing to sleep with another woman's man. What's even more weird from my perspective is that when I'm spoken for which I have for the past 6+ years I get far more attention from women, I get come onto a lot more and have far more offers of sex and flirtation from women than I do when I'm single. When girls find out I'm spoken for it makes me more attractive to them because a. they can't have me which makes me a bigger prize and therefore ego boost if they can. b. I'm not actually trying, I'm not on the hunt and don't even notice the women around me that much, I'm relaxed enjoying myself and confident. c. They feel the need to compete with and beat my girlfriend by getting me. This isn't conjecture either I've actually asked these girls why they kept trying it on even though I told them I was taken.
A lot of guys are pretty weak when it comes to that kind of temptation and when girls are throwing themselves at you some give in.
My point is OP if you want to understand why men do, then try and understand why women would fight so hard to steal your man from you because when it comes to cheating there's a hell of a lot of temptation out there.
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male
reader, eek  +, writes (16 December 2011):
 i have never and will never cheat on anyone im with. If a met a woman like the one you describe i would show her How much i love her, marry her and be a very happy man.
There is never an excuse (male or female) for cheating. If some wants to be with someone else they should end there relationship first Then go after someone else.
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male
reader, wiser now +, writes (16 December 2011):
You paint a pretty picture.... but is it real? You may very well do all these things and be very attractive.... that's great.... but are you slim and sexy? Men are attracted to slim sexy ladies....What you may not understand is males and females respond to differing stimuli,.... Woman are attracted by character and intelllect etc.... God made man a visual hunter... what we see is most important. A need for variety will explain why some men are unfairhful. A chance meeting and/or opportunity are other reasons why men stray. And don't forget the hormone issue. Some guys' bodies produce large amounts of testosterone. This alone accounts for a wandering eye life style. If he cheats regularly then he is not in love...period... but if its a rarity let him have some fun .... Whatever you do... do not NAG! ... that will drive him away.
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (16 December 2011):
Its actually been statistically shown that the number of women who think cheating is okay, or have actually cheated is strikingly close to that of men. Cheating does not discriminate; scumbag people are scumbag people, no matter what gender, race, religion, nationality they happen to be.That being said up front, as a guy, I would suspect cheating comes from a combination of boredom with your own life, a yearning for danger, and some form of unfulfillment with the current relationship, whether its rational or not.Most of the time, people who cheat bury their guilt about it through justification. "Well it was his fault that he worked late so many nights and made me so lonely." "Well its her fault that she won't try new things in bed." "Well its his fault that he doesn't give me the attention I deserve." Even though they are in the wrong by committing the act, they often see it as some sort of justice they are owed. They rationalize cheating and proceed with it.But other times, some people just cheat to cheat. They could have the most outstanding, beautiful, intelligent significant other anyone could ask for, but they still seek the excitement that comes from cheating. In this case, they are addicted not to the physical pleasure of cheating, but rather the intense high they receive from doing something dangerous, mysterious, and tabboo.In the end, stay away from people who tend to cheat or have cheated in the past. Likely, the reasons they did cheat are their own personal problems, NOT something they were "driven" to do by the lack of attention they were shown, though may insist so.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): Difference between a man that gives into temptation once over a serial cheater.
Usually one is unhappy, overwhelmed, and may see an affair as a distraction or to introduce some excitement into their lives. Sad but one of the reasons.
Especially in a society where the message is a narcissitic beast that says YOUR HAPPINESS, temporal and quick stimulation, instant gratification matters most. ME, ME, ME.
This in itself is a symptom and should seek individual counselling but unfortuantely never seems to be a solution that is viable let alone healthy.
To An Addict that is A Serial Cheater.
http://mfgmarriage.com/extra-marital-affairs-serial-cheater/#
The damage an affair does is far reaching and takes years to rebuild the trust. Was the 4-15 minutes of sex worth it?
Also, yes, morality plays a part in weither a man will give into temptation and cheat or not. Wisdom. Most people don't practice AVOID these situations that create emotional intimacy/cheating that then leads to physical/sexual cheating. Safe gaurding a marriage/relationship seems to never really come up. I haven't really heard couples coming up with a plan to work together to live rules/standards that keeps them affair proofed. Especially in our times where more and more people declare sexual intimacy in a monogamous relationship just isn't practical and is outdated.
http://foreverfamilies.byu.edu/Article.aspx?a=47
I absolutely adore the article I linked. It makes so much sense and when I approaced my BF with this; we both decided to take on such practices as we realize we love one another and want us to be married happily, successfully and not invite in threats to our love and happiness.
I think having some sort of map and commonality when it comes to living your life and making decisions is what makes a couple more prone to success over others who do not have deep discussions let alone address such a topic of affairs and safe gaurding against them.
We have to work to become proactive. We have to lose the ME mentality and adopt a WE mentality. And then live it daily.
Seems a lost art as I read through post after post on DC.
*sighs*
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female
reader, chigirl +, writes (16 December 2011):
They'd cheat because they pity themselves no matter what. If I remember correctly, there was an interview study in Cosmopolitan where they talked to cheaters about cheating, and the reply was that men who cheat cheat with women who are LESS pretty, and LESS great as the one they have at home. In other words, you can be as amazing as ever, but if you're dating a cheater he'll cheat. And he'll cheat with someone who isn't as pretty as you, isn't nice, doesn't cook, doesn't do massages etc.
He cheats with these women not because they are better in any way, or because he actually lacks anything at home. He cheats because, well, he wanted to. He feels he can get away with it, have the hottie at home, and snack on something cheap and easy on the side.
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (16 December 2011):
 I wouldn't, personally, but I live by a pretty strict moral code (one of the side effects being how very judgmental I am of everyone else). Or at least, I haven't yet, despite never having even met a woman who has all the qualities you listed.
But for guys who do, well, it's a combination of moral weakness and the biological drive for variety. The moral weakness is obvious - not everyone's perfect, nor should we expect them to be. Everyone has some failing or another, and the trick is just to find a person whose failing you can live with.
Variety is a different beast altogether. It's the one thing that a perfect woman can't provide within the context of a monogamous relationship, and it has a thrill all its own. You've seen celebrity men married to some of the most beautiful women alive, and then get caught with some less-than-pretty mistresses. It's variety. People are not so far above our instincts as we like to pretend, and our most powerful instinct is the drive to pass on our genes.
In men, there are generally three biological strategies, and which one is best for a man depends on how attractive he is. Our instincts are programmed to find the best strategy and push for it. For the very most attractive men, the best strategy is to have a main woman or two, but lots on the side (think kings, senators, and actors here). That way you have a few kids to invest all your resources in, and a bunch of backups. For the next tier down, the best strategy is to have lots of flings (think rock stars and football players). For the next tier, your best bet is to get one woman and invest all your resources in making sure she doesn't cheat and in raising your kids. The lowest tier are those men who don't manage to reproduce at all - not a great strategy.
Even as a man who has only ever had sex within established relationships, I can attest that the first few times with a new girl are a special kind of rush. It's the variety-seeking instinct at work.
What you can do about it, if you want to avoid being cheated on, is seek out the kind of man who is strongly opposed to cheating, personally. For me, the rationale is not, "I don't want to hurt her," because that's easy to overcome ("What she doesn't know won't hurt her," or, "I'm not really happy with her right now, so I don't care if this hurts her," or, "We all make mistakes, and she'll forgive me"). The better solution is to find a man who doesn't cheat because, "I don't want to be *that* guy." Find one who doesn't cheat because he thinks of himself as better than that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2011): I'm not a man, but I don't have to be to answer this question.
If you consider the list of recent affairs dissected by the media and the corresponding list of gorgeous, classy, successful women who have been cheated on - and then consider who their husbands cheated WITH - the answer is obvious.
Jesse James cheating on Sandra Bullock with a trashy tattoo model/stripper?
Tiger Woods cheating on Elin Nordegren with skanky, fame-hungry Rachel Uchitel?
Anthony Weiner cheating on Huma Abedin with a porn actress he found on Twitter?
And, most recently, Ashton Kutcher spending his anniversary with Demi Moore naked in a hot tub with two airheaded party girls he found clubbing?
If women like this, who have the whole package to offer, are not safe from being cheated on, then theoretically no woman is. The key lies in choice of partner. Some men (and some women; I'll not be sexist here) are just not able, for any number of reasons psychological and otherwise, to be faithful to one partner. Undoubtedly such individuals justify their straying to themselves (and to others, if caught) on the grounds that their relationship with the original partner is "lacking" something. A bullsh*t excuse, of course; no one is perfect. The fact is, if you can be a man dating Elin Nordegren and find her "lacking" to the point that you are compelled to seek sex elsewhere - let's face it, the problem is you, and you are likely not capable of forming a monogamous relationship with anyone. Ever.
A man who would cheat on the woman you have described has problems that are in no way the woman's fault.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (16 December 2011):
 Probably not but if/when the "oportunity" presents itself, it is almost imposible to not carry on with a flirtatious women that wants to get frisky. It's an ego thing I'd guess.
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