A
female
age
36-40,
*igi23
writes:I tried giving blow jobs, it hurts, my jaws got irritated , i felt used (i knew i`m not gonna like them) and i felt bad about myself, i love sex though. so is it a deal breaker if a woman refuses to give it to her boyfriend? i never asked any men to go down on me (i know most don`t like it either )i just need an honest answerthx
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 Depends on the guy. For some it might be, but if you don't like givings BJ's then you don't - so those guys are just not going to be in your eligibility list.
Still, while you are entitled to havings your opinons on giving oral, it shouldn't feel degrading. I mean if you don't like the taste or your jaw hurts that's fine (technique can sort out the second issue, generally) but in a healthy relationship you should feel comfortable with it.
I don't blame porn, simply because I watch enough to know that a lot of times BJ's are correctly represented (and I personally like a cumshot on the face, so that's not a problem either) but maybe it is a factor for you and your partner.
Still, if you are otherwise comfortable in a relationship, and you still find you don't want to give oral, don't. A guy who can't handle that is a guy you don't want to be with, right?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2012): Yes it is. I couldn't stay in a relationship without oral as well as most other forms of sex. However, if there was a physical or medical reason a woman couldn;t give oral, I'd have to be more forgiving, and could overlook that if we had an otherwise awesome relationship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): I loveee going down on my bf. ;) I love him so much. He is incredibly hot and sexy and I love watching him go crazy. I never felt this way about a guy before him... ( I think because I wasn't with the right boyfriend ) There is a trick to it. You need to use your hand while giving oral. It takes practice but it's so much fun!! Don't give up, it is like heaven for guys ;)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 January 2012):
 It's about sexual compatibility. Some guys must have it, others couldn't care less. I think the answer lies with individual preferences.
Personally, it was an acquired taste for me. I had to get used to it, and now I absolutely love giving them. Cerberus is right, it's not just about deep throating. Your hands are caressing different areas and so is your tongue. Instead of being used, it's actually an awesome feeling of having that much power over a guy...it's a real turn on, actually!
Sorry in advance if this is too graphic, but I like rimming around and on the head with my tongue and upper shaft while at the same time my hands caressing the base of the shaft and the scrotum. Neck and jaw don't hurt at all!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 January 2012):
 "Sounds" to me like you've got a lot of the details screwed up.....
1. REAL good boyfriends LOVE to go down on a girl and pleasure her orally.... IF you can't find such a guy, then you are looking in all the wrong places....
2. IF you wish to NOT perform oral for your boyfriend, it's no big deal.... IF he MAKES IT A BIG DEAL, then he's not much of a boyfriend, is he?????
Oral sex, like all the other sensuous details of a relationship, are a delicate something that two people can (and many DO) work out for themselves. There are no "hard and fast" rules that apply.... only this: Do what you (and your partner) like.... and don't give much of a damn about what "others" may think or tell you....
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (18 January 2012):
 I love to eat... and if she doesnt reciprocate, yeah I'll look elsewhere for my needs.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (18 January 2012):
 Depends entirely on the guy, for me I can take or leave blow jobs and wouldn't really be too fussed.
And as Cerberus said, most guys do like going down.
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A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (18 January 2012):
Contrary to what you may think, most guys I've heard from do not mind going down on a girl at all, and in fact may enjoy it a lot. I know I enjoy it.
Its not a deal breaker, but it certainly limits the fun you can have in the bedroom, which could lead to some issues later on. If you're not giving oral, I'd suggest at least trying other things to make your sex life a little more varied. But hey, that's just a suggestion.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 January 2012):
 1. most of the men I dated loved to go down on me... dont' ask me why... and i love having it done. my current partner can't/won't do it and I accepted it as part of our life together.....
2. my second husband hated blow jobs. I taught him to like them
NO blow jobs would be a deal breaker for my fiance now... but many men don't demand it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): For me personally yeah it is. Most guys actually like going down on girls OP I don't know where you got the idea we don't.
Oral sex is an important part of my sexual needs, it's not something I can compromise on unfortunately I tried but it actually makes me very unhappy and unsatisfied so I save myself the hassle and make that clear from the start.
I don't know how common or popular my view on it is but I do know many guys who do think it's important too, then again most guys just accept that they're not going to get it any more after a while.
If I were you, I wouldn't worry about it too much but I would let guys know about it when you're dating. Most won't mind as long as you'll use your hand and there's plenty of sex. It's definitely better that they know so you don't get in deep with them only for it to become a major issue.
You're not unusual OP and while I'm not sure of the ratio I do know most girls are willing to get past their discomfort to give it. OP if your jaw gets sore and it hurts you're doing it wrong. It's not supposed to be that taxing and the best ones I've gotten weren't like you see in porn. You only have to pay attention to the head, which is isn't very much and taking breaks while using your hand and even finishing the job with the hand, makes it a lot easier.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): Not a deal breaker. As long as you keep him satisfied sexually it shouldn't be a problem. Most men just like the power emotional feeling it gives them anyways so if you just go down there and lick/kiss it for a minute while using your hand on it you can reach a similar result for most.
As long as you aren't turning him down regularly for sex there shouldn't be problems. : )
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A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (18 January 2012):
For me, this is definitely not a deal breaker. I like the occasional, brief blow job as part of foreplay but I honestly don't enjoy them enough to either request them with any regularity, or expect my girlfriend to give me one until I cum. As long as my girlfriend loves sex and I'm getting plenty of that I'll be a happy guy.
To comment on the last part of your post, though, there are actually quite a few men who truly enjoy giving a woman oral. I would be very disappointed if my girlfriend never let me go down on her, for example. That might actually be more of a deal breaker for me.
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, tobson +, writes (18 January 2012):
I dont think it is a deal-breaker, my girlfriend rarely gives me bojobs. However it sounds as if you have an other issue with it, were you pressured into giving them? Why do you feel used?
I personally like to give oral and I dont think it is true that most men do not like to give it.
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