A
female
age
30-35,
*nglishRose
writes:I'm trying to think of a way to put this delicately but failing miserably so here goes - I was chatting with some of my guy friends the other day, and one of them started talking about how this girl was really bad in bed.I'm a virgin and my bf and I are planning to have sex for the first time, and I know I'm not expected to be an expert the first few times, but after that, then what? What actually makes a girl good in bed? From both a girl and boy's point of view would be much appreciated Reply to this Question
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male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (12 May 2012):
 I don't think the ladies replies tell you anything so i will try to tell you. you both have to be very responsive to each as if you know what the other wants in advance. you also have to be very slow to build up the tension. you will probably find that its the man thats not good in bed rather than the woman as he pushes too hard when you are not ready. don't worry it it will get better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012): The only time I was with a girl who was really bad in bed was when she was seriously sowing wild oats. She was a teen in a relationship with an older guy, I think she was committed to him but wanted to make sure that she wasn't missing out on anything. But her heart was never in the sex we had. The fact that she wasn't into it, that she was doing it for other reasons, is what made it bad. (For the record, she's been married to the older guy for 30 years now).After that I had a relationship with a girl who not only was a virgin, she'd never been kissed. On the occasions where she completely let go and got into it, it was by far the best sex I ever had. Those two examples suggest that it's all about attitude. If you're into it, if it's working for you and you let him know, then it can be supremely great, regardless of experience.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012): For starters, real men DON'T talk about how a girl is in bed...he is either lying to save face because she turned him down, or he has no class or respect for women and is trying to be cool, but showing nothing but immaturity in front of his friends...seriously, that is not a topic of conversation in mixed company. With that said...
Don't even let those comments get into your head. What goes on between you and your boyfriend is private and if he respects you, your sex life together will not be a topic of conversation beyond the two of you.
Do what feels right and what feels good to you and communicate with your partner about what feels good to him, you and for both of you.
When men have asked me what I like...I kind of have nothing to say because no guy is the same and exploring each time with that one committed partner is what you find out you like together or for each other. Down the road, asking me what I want is simple because he knows by then.
Your first time is not likely to be anything special and neither of you will not and should not be expected to have this magic moment...just relax and if it feels right, go for it. From then on, it only gets better and better. Remember he will likely have anxiety to perform for you as well.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 May 2012):
 Well if I am honest with you, every guy is different and different things turn them on and get them going, so I guess the only way to determine this is to ask your boyfriend what he likes. Confidence is a big thing I know that much, so be confident within yourself and just ask him what he likes.
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