A
female
age
36-40,
*ellybeans20009
writes:We've been broken up for 3 months now. We only went out for two months (he was my first boyfriend) and that might mean it isn't that big of a deal to others who've experienced longer relationships...but I still felt for him. That should account for something. And it's taking me a lot to get over him.I liked him a lot, way more than I ever expected myself to. He dumped me.Meaning he gave up on me and us. It was him who told me that he was crazy about me the first time we met, so when I started to like him back it was already finished.I've tried my best to move on. It was working until he contacted me a month ago and I took a few steps back.Worse yet, just last friday I saw him and his friends with these two blonde girls with boobs while I was out dancing with my friends. It felt like I was slapped across the face and I just walked away.There's so much more to this story, but I feel like I've typed about it enough in my diary and friends in hopes that I'd get over it.Now I'm sitting in front of my computer screen feeling depressed and bloated because I just did a dosage of emotional eating.Feeling like a loser because i'm drowning in this pool of self pity, but have been making an effort to be optimistic.It seems like no matter what I do...sing my butt off, write it all down, talk to good friends...I can't get him and the sinking feeling that i'll be alone forever out of my mind. I've tried going out and meeting new people, joining clubs and just generally been trying really really hard. And then that night I saw him with other girls that just did me in. I really want to facebook stalk the girl he's interested in to see if she likes him back or if there is any new developments between them, but my friend said I shouldn't because it doesnt matter anymore.It's like I'm on crack, though, and I'm addicted and I can't help myself. Any advice?
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boobs, depressed, facebook, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Hi,just to let you know i can relate to your story.I was with a guy that i loved and gave everything to,he broke up with me after 2 years,we had a child together and i thought everything was all good.How wrong was i,i tried everything also but nothing seemed to take that pain away.To make it harder he got married 3 mounths later so that just added to the pain.But i just listened to friends,family letting me know its his loss and i deserve better and its true you deserve someone who truely loves you and when you find that person you will know. When that time comes you will look back and wonder why you spent all that time crying and writing in your diary,days on end thinking you are not good enough.Well you are and he the one that lost you,it takes a while but trust me you will heel,it toke me a while.Now im with an amazing man who me and my daughter love very much,this is it for me i look back and think it was meant to happen like that.It wasnt easy but i now can finally say im happy ive meet a man who i truely love and who truely loves me.You will find this and it will become a faint memory,if he was that stupid to leave you he was never worth it.Try not to waste anymore more tears on him,you will find happiness good things take time.All the best be strong:)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): If you think you feel like crap now wait until the day comes when you have to sweat to keep up a front to yourself and everyone else that you still love him. It sucks.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (31 October 2010):
 It's hard to get over your first. Until you find your second :) I don't care what anyone says, it's perfectly normal to facebook or myspace stalk your exes and their new conquests and whoever says they don't do it is full of crap. He dumped you. So what. His loss. Don't let it get to you or at least don't show him that it's getting to you, that will drive him insane. And it's fun.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (30 October 2010):
 As the saying goes, you'll always love your first. He'll always be etched into your memory because you shared something with him that you hadn't yet shared with anyone else. Unfortunately, he led you to believe the relationship was going somewhere only for it to be taken away without any warning in the same moment.
Aside from distracting yourself and trying as much as possible not to dwell on it, the only thing that can make that feeling go away is time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2010): Sad your first relationship was not perfect, but most of them never are. And emotional eating will only make things worse. Be very very happy he dropped you. He was only using you. And you are well rid of him. Forget him. He is history. He's not your problem any more. Dont make it worse by wanting ti retaliate as a result of the breakup. That's a loser's response. Millions of people get over it and you will too. If you want to be a winner then you will stop the emotional eating and get fit. Join a gym, it would do you more good. Go every day to the gym. Find a public swimming pool, get swimming laps regularly. You will get fitter. And the endorphins released from our brain when we exercise will lift your depression. Just reading your diatribe drowning in self pity
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