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First time sex anxiety!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 November 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2010)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

how to overcome anxiety in first sexual intercourse?

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A female reader, kirra07 Canada +, writes (2 November 2010):

Set some ground rules with your partner. Let them know you might be uncomfortable, so you guys can take your time. Maybe over several encounters, taking it slightly further each time.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010):

Honestly, I think the best way is to do it a second, third, and 4th time and laugh about the first time later.

Don't use drugs or alcohol to overcome it. Make sure that you know the person really well before you get this far involved. Work your way up to it by stages.

No matter how it goes, someone else will have a story just as awkward or worse than you do...or it may go great.

The first time I had intercourse was preceded by getting to know the woman better, by stages over weeks, and we spent pretty much all our time together...then on that "special night" as we are in bed together one of her old boyfriends shows up unexpectedly, drunk more likely than not, and starts pounding violently on the door relentlessly...top that story.

Remember that no matter how prepared you are the first time, sex is like many things in that it gets better with practice over time with the same partner as you get to know each other better, and better, and better.

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A female reader, Natalie:) United Kingdom +, writes (1 November 2010):

Natalie:) agony auntI would say that if you like they guy then then and there you will feel completely comfortable with him or her.

However if you've built it up in your head you will think of stuff that you won't even consider at the time! That being said if you don't like the guy or girl then all I can say Is that it won't be half as enjoyable or comfortable.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (1 November 2010):

olderthandirt agony auntIn my humble opinion if you have anxiety about sex you probably shouldn't do it...trust your instincts. It may just not be right for you at this time--You have a whole lot of life ahead of you enjoy it. Don't force anything,relax. Life is way too short to have to overcome anxieties. You'll know when it's right for you.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 November 2010):

aunt honesty agony auntDont rush in to anything if you dont feel ready then dont do it until you feel comfortable, we all worry about our first time as it is a big step in life but just get your man to take things slowly and work up to it, it may be a little uncomfortable the first few times but it will get better.

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