A
female
age
36-40,
*penheart
writes:Hi,I want to know if your feelings ever truely fade for your first love or do we hold those feelings for the rest of our lives!! I know the saying that you never forget your first love!My situation is that, I went out with a boy when I was 16 for 8 months, and I know that doesnt seem very long but I fell head over heels in love with him! Well after the 8 months he split up with me and I was devestated. It felt like my whole world had ended! It took me a couple of months to sort myself out and try and get over it. Then I meet a lovely young guy who I have been with for over 5 years now and we have recently got engaged!I never really got over my ex and I thought about him all the time. He got back into contact about a year ago and wanted to get together with me!I told him that I was seeing someone else. But he says that he still loves me and he would do anything for another chance with me. I asked him why he split up with me in the first place and he said he was immature and one of his friends pressured him into it!I know you are all thinking why spoil a pefectly good relationship with this new guy for the one that put me through so much pain in the first place!But to be totally honest my relationship isnt all its cracked up to be either. We argue all the time, dont spend quality time together. But I do love him! and we do have good times.So basically what I want to know is do you know think that I am still in love with my ex or do u think it is just old feelings coming back because he was my first love?Thanks x
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): well i met this boy i been with him for two months are so he is 19teen and i'm 23years old we shared everything together and we became very close but last night he call and said that he went back to his ex his first love because she had everthing and she is is love and actually love i;m so heart boken about that i think he made a big mistake please somebody help me please should i move on are try to work things out with him what should i do i'm so confuse and fall of pain
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): I actually think, it only can happen if the new relationship,can't live up to the first love feeling, specially at mid life crises ,sometimes over 20 years of marriage ,,we still have feelings, or regrets. Some crazy people even dreams about going back in time, and find this first love,even risking both marriages.I think it is nice to make a good spot in your heart for that, but not trying to bring it back to life.
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A
male
reader, Moviefan  +, writes (30 January 2008):
 No, you will never forget it will always be there. It may fade a little and you will look at these memories in diffrent ways throught out your life because your perspective in life is constanlty changing. Sometimes it will be a painful memory but most of the time it will be a pleasant memory that pops up from time to time when you least expect it. It seems to pop into my head at night and first thing in he morning, When i sit down and think about aeverything in my life before i go to sleep.
Ill admit sometimes i wish that it never happend because my first love caused me a lot of heart ache. I was not prepaired for a relationship that was so complicated when it was my first attempt at a serious relationships. But the good memories keep it from becoming hate or pain or anything negative.
I will never forget how it fealt the first time we held each other it was like everything on my mind just disapeared and nothing else really matterd and like electricity was pulsing throught my body. We had so much in common but we were so much diffrent, once i strted getting deeper in i knew there was going to be some problems. But i tried to make it work but it wasnt enought. Because she didnt. She loved me to but she made some bad decisions and hurt me bad enougth that i cant talk to her still. Ive tried but it gets cought in my throat. Some positives came out of the situation.
But do not leave the guy you are with now, because things will not be the same if you go back to you ex, and they never will be. And about you problems with your currnet relatiosnhip work it out talk about your problems. It the only way to solve them.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (30 January 2008):
 No, I don't think we ever truly get over our first love. The first person to love you makes you feel so special and powerful and if you happen to love them back then you're twice blessed. Because it's the first time for you feeling those emotions theyre bound to be much more powerful than they'll ever be again. I still think of my first boyfriend (well the first one that mattered) and have very fond feelings towards him and it definitely took me a very long time to get over him. I even still love him now in a way, but I still don't think we're meant to be together. Of course love is important but your first love is very rarely your only love or your most important love. Like many great philosophers say, it's not the first person you love that matters but the last. Some things you say about your current fiance worry me a bit though. Anyone you're planning on marrying shouldn't instil doubts in you the same way this guy seems to be doing. Maybe think about that a little too.... but my advice? Don't go back to your ex. You can never recapture what you had in youth and whether you think so or not, you've changed enough that you can't go back to what you were and what you had.
CD
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Hi
I dont know, i adored someone i was with for 2 years, we split and it took me atleast 2 years to get over him, a little bit more in fact if i'm honest. And even when i met someone 2 years after splitting with him (it was my choice, he was 10 yrs younger than me and i knew it wasnt going to work long term) i know deep down i still had feelings somewhere for that ex. But now i am well over 3 years down the line after we split, i know i havent got feelings anymore.
All i could put it down to was time. But if you split from that ex 5 yrs ago plus, it sounds like maybe things really arent too good with this current guy. And if you were sorted on that side of things one way or the other, the ex wouldnt be an issue at all.
Its easy to remember the good times, and not the bad. Matey from years ago might be a nightmare these days and not someone you would give the time of day to long term. I wonder if your current relationship is clouding your feelings and you are remembering the last time you felt happy. But in the long run the answer to being happy isnt with the ex?
C xxxxx
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