A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone, I have reached my breaking point in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year in February. Here lately we have been fighting non stop! Today we have fought since last night! I am so tired of fighting but I dont wanna break up because I love him and when we're not fighting its great we get along perfect. The things we fight about the most is: him not cleaning up after his self, never taking me around his friends or family, he says when I go around his mom then I can be around his friends. Im scared to go around his mom because awhile back he told she didnt like me and it made me scared to be around her. Another thing is he is always on his phone no matter what! We do love each other, but at this point we dont know what else to do. Our relationship is boring we dont do anything or never have any money to do anything we mostly stay home and do nothing. 90% of the time. I know eeveryone fights in a relationship but we cant go no more then 2 days without fighting about something. We've talked about everything he says he'll start helping me around the house, and not be on his phone as much but it never happens. I dont wanna break up cause like I said I love him and I know that if we break up then im gonna get depressed and cry and miss him. Any advice or tips before we get to the point we need to break up.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 December 2013):
 you are fighting all the time,
you are bored
he's always on the phone
his mother dislikes you (or you perceive that she does)
he issues ultimatums (you can't see my friends till you make nice with my mommy) and treats you like a child
You say you don't want to break up because you love him....
ok I'll bite
give me all the reasons CURRENTLY that you love him...
not what was in the past.. not what HE COULD be...
but right now.. this instant... you LOVE HIM... WHY????
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (30 December 2013):
 you say "when we're not fighting, we get along perfect." then you proceed to say that you argue at the very LEAST every two days. so realistically, what you're saying, is that you're arguing constantly, and there really is hardly any time that you're "getting along perfectly." because you're arguing 9/10ths of your relationship.
you say you want advice on how to make it work. but the unfortunate truth of the matter is that some people really just aren't right for each other. clearly there's a compatibility issue here if you can't get along, regardless of how much you love each other.
my ex and i loved each other a lot. we really did. but we had the same problem as you and your boyfriend. we couldn't get along. it wasn't because we didn't want to or love each other. it was because we simply weren't right for each other. think about that.
couples do argue, yes. that's being realistic. but couples should NOT argue as frequently as you do. that's completely unhealthy and speaks to how healthy/unhealthy your relationship is.
if you really wanted to make this work, counseling is the only way i could see things changing. but you say money is an issue for you both, so i assume counseling is out of your budget.
i think you should consider taking a step back and re-evaluating this relationship. what you're experiencing is a clear sign of compatibility issues.
good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 December 2013):
 You say; ".....I am so tired of fighting but I dont wanna break up because I love him and when we're not fighting its great we get along perfect."
You will find the answer, on your own, when you determine that people who love one-another do not fight or argue all the time..... I suspect that you KNOW what you feel for this guy is not LOVE... but is probably something like an odd comfort that you get (and crave) during those times when you and he are not at odds...
Decide what a "relationship" really is.... what "love" really is... and those definitions will guide you to the answer to your question....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 December 2013):
 You're depressed and crying NOW! What's the difference?
A guy not wanting you to be around his friends is a major red flag. He tells you his mom doesn't like you, yet tells you that if you're not around her then you can't be with his friends? What game is he playing?
I'd be suspicious if I were you. Constantly on the phone and not letting you around someone who knows him and may expose his lies is cheater behavior, or at the least controlling behavior.
I also bet anything that if you called his mom without him being around, she may tell a different story. Does he live with you? You said he doesn't clean up after himself? Are you living together? If not, think it'll be better or worse if he is, and if you are living together, why hasn't your mom or his friends come to your place??
You need to get out of this relationship, resolve your crying and move on. Otherwise, it'll be worse.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2013): you live together and you fight a lot because you guys are bored, dont do anything interesting and tgats why you get to each other nerves. no matter how much you love the other person, if you dont share laughs or do exciting things tgats when the flaws of each other start to come out. i know, maybe you are broke and cant afford to do things. that sucks. but you both have to find a way to go out, search on the web for inexpensive ideas for dates. i belive that will help you a lot but if after doing all that you still fighting is better to called it a day.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (30 December 2013):
 The only advice I can give you is TO break up. It's not at all a healthy relationship.
You have been together LESS then a year and all you do is fight? What's the point in that?
And not having any money, well......do either of you work? Do you live at home?
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