A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 4 months just broke up with me. I’m 26 and he’s 24. The reason we broke up was because he thought I was cheating on him with a coworker (technically my boss, but I do not report directly to him). I travel a lot for business and he believed that since I was traveling with this person and have known him for over 3 years that I had either had a previous relationship with him or am having a relationship with him now. Neither is true. Nothing has ever happened between us. My boyfriend felt that my relationship with my coworker was “inappropriate”. He looked through my cell phone and found phone calls and text messages between this coworker and me. The phone calls were definitely not excessive (I checked my phone records and they averaged about 7-10 a month). Most of these calls were during business hours, but some are after hours, none that would be considered “late”, though. Bottom line is that I work in a small office (under 10 of us) and we are all friendly with each other and my relationship with this particular coworker is strictly professional. Even though four months is not a long time, my boyfriend and I got extremely close in this time and we both fell in love. I understand that his suspicions are hurting him and causing him emotional distress and that kills me. His distrust for me has caused me a lot of hurt as well. I am willing to work past this because we both agree that every other aspect of our relationship is incredible. I just don’t know what I can do to put his mind at ease and get him to trust me. Just for the record, I do not feel that he is doing this because of a guilty conscience or anything like that. I have never suspected him of cheating on me. It hurts me that we’re ending what could be a wonderful relationship for nothing. I feel so helpless and would appreciate any advice or insight.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 He is insecure and the jealous type.
Were your phone calls and text purely related to your work
only or were there some other personal messages?
If it is purely work related, then he has no standings , but
if there were some element of personal messages,
you cannot blame him for acting that way.
How would you react if you find some text messages from another girl on his phone?
Would you be nonchalant and treat it like nothing happens?
You may feel it is nothing on your side but you need to consider his feelings too.
Whether it will just be a short break or a terminal case will depends on some factors.
Which of you would be willing to give this relationship another shot?
If neither wants to budge from their positions,
then it is bye bye!
A
female
reader, angelblueeyes  +, writes (16 April 2008):
 Hi, What a pickle you have there do you know if your boyfriend ever had a girlfriend cheat on him before in the past? As maybe this is why he has insecurities with you (been cheated on seen the signs before that kind of thing),
Unfortunatly i have never been in that situation so i cant give you the answer that you want but i would advise that you talk to him reasure him you only have eyes for him maybe he should seek advice from councelling for his insecurities that might help him and you and get your relationship back on track.
All the best
Lu x
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A
male
reader, binhquangdao +, writes (16 April 2008):
 my advice is to invite your bf and your coworker to dinner he would seee how you act around him and he would trust you he does loves you he just has this jealously that us guys gets when you spend more time somewhere else then with us.
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