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Family and a crush on my cousin since I was 13. How do I move on from this?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 August 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 August 2011)
A male Canada age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey people, I really appreciate you guys and girls for helping me out and I have a problem. Please don't say ewwwwww, or anything rude because it's my second cousin. Please help me.

I remember this was back 3 years ago when I was 13, I saw my second cousin for the second time. When I arrived at the airport , I was surprised on how she looked and everything. She was so beautiful and attractive.When the day passes by, we went out for lunch as a family, and went to the mall. We had so much fun playing retro video games, and being random. Like the weird part is, i still remember how it happen and what time is was around. And I felt really happy. :) After that, just the boring stuff not relating to this, I was at X chilling with the fam but not with her. -.- After we came back from X , me and my mom's cousin drove off to her friends house to pick her up from a party. All I remember is just having a good time, and watching whose line is it anyway. (FTW! Best comedy show EVER!!!!!) We were just talking and we exactly got really close, and it felt awkward but I was feeling love for the first time. Around 3AM I had to leave and ask her for her email address but she told me that she was tired, and give it to me tomorrow morning. Here's the worst part, she didn't wake up or anything as I was leaving for my home. I felt really upset, I won't know if it was me or if she was tired. Once I got back home, during night when everyone is sleeping. I started tearing up, because I miss her so much!!!!!!!! AND NOW, I secretly miss her or /and maybe love her. But when I was still at X, I felt I was annoying back then or didn't know what to do. We haven't communicated for about 2 years, and I used to have her on Facebook but she deleted me for no ever reason if she me because I was annoying or her account got hacked.

Now for these 3 years, I had feelings for her, and missing her a lot. It might be stupid but sometimes I tear up over it because I miss her so much. The only simple communication I have her was a letter when I came back to her place, and didn't had a chance to see her. :( All I can do is write quotes about her about good times and times I miss her.

Right now, I still miss her. Was there something I was missing, was it love, family love? I wanted to see her but I think she doesn't miss me back or thinks about me. Probably because I was being so awkward or annoying back then. Hopefully, I get to see her ASAP. It doesn't matter if it's here in her place or my place. EVEN, if it's email, facebook, skype, letter, etc. I just want to talk to her. :'(

Overall, I think I'm missing something but I don't know if I love her (crush way) or as a family. She's really attractive, and beautiful. My heart is telling me something and I want to see her ASAP!

But don't worry, this is not affecting my image or anything. And also, it's not affecting my learning at school and I'm a really nice guy. People call me a brother but this is really hard. I can't tell my parents this because it would be weird, bad, and I won't be either to see her again.

Thanks guys, and girls for helping me out. It really means a lot to mean.

View related questions: cousin, crush, facebook, move on, video games

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011):

Hun if she not coming around forget about it. I'm sure you'll find someone better than her. I know you're in love, and I've been in a situation where I've loved someone but I had to let them go. Just think of what your family would say if you married her or something.

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia +, writes (23 August 2011):

Aunty Susie agony auntYou've got yourself a little obsession going here. You have spent wayyyy too much time thinking about her. Yes, she may just think of you as an annoying cousin; whatever her reasons are, for not contacting you, you have to start getting a grip. It's not going to happen, its not going anywhere. There is nothing between the two of you. Its all you, and you need to let go.

Why don't you try dating lots of girls for a while. You don't have to be all that interested in them, just go out with lots. Try to distract yourself with sports, male friends, an after school job, learn a new language, whatever, get busy, busy. Don't allow yourself any time to just lay around thinking, because you are really wasting your time, and your emotions. I'm sure in time, you will get over her. Good luck.

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