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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I have small breasts and this makes me feel insecure, especially because my ex was more into bigger ones. I have also noticed that most men prefer big ones. I know looks supposedly don’t matter, but men, even other women, seem to make such a big deal of them that it’s hard not to feel insecure. Plus int he media it's as if big breasts rule and small breasts exist only to be made fun of! I know the media is not like the real world, but it still affects me.It doesn’t help that I have an otherwise curvy body. I have a small waist, wide hips, and thick thighs. I feel that I look disproportionate. I also worry that since I have less “up there” men will expect me to make up for it with other body parts, and while I have thick thighs and a large butt, I have so much cellulite which is also ugly.I don’t want guys to be disappointed… I also feel so insecure around my sister and friends because they’re all big up there and they’re always showing cleavage and joking about how much attention they get and how they enjoy it. It’s as if they feel that big breasts are so much better… I don’t know, they kinda give off that vibe, they probably feel validated, sometimes it makes me wanna tell them to just shut up and to get real! That they’re not all that… yet, they do get a lot of attention, even if they have other "flaws" men seem to overlook that because they have big breasts while they don't seem to "overlook" my small breasts. I don't get as much attention even though I know I have a femenine looking body. I just hate my small breasts because apparently they don't attract as much attention as big ones do.I don’t know... I know I’m too insecure but I really don’t know how to make peace with this, I really sometimes look at my chest and hate it for being so small! If I were petite and skinny and pretty like most small chested women, I’d be happy but sadly I’m curvy. I don’t feel pretty or sexy, because men never buy me drinks or ask me to dance like they do with my sister and friends. I also don’t think that my face or other body parts make up for it (I’m not talking about personality because I’m just focusing only on physical attractiveness here, which is VERY IMPORTANT for men my age, I’m 22). Yeah, I’m past puberty so they won’t grow. No, I don’t want a guy to just settle for me and love me for my personality, I want someone who genuinely wants me and thinks I’m the hottest thing on earth. Right now, having come out of a long and tiring relationship, I don't care about love. I want to feel wanted... I want to have fun. I want to go out with my friends and not feel inferior, because they get more attention than I do. I want to feel like a sexy woman!
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 November 2011):
 Oh well. I have big breasts, and when I was younger they were really a sight to behold- and yet I can't say my breasts have particularly helped me ( or hindered me ) in life, love and romance. I think you are way overestimating the power of a nice rack and endowing it with a mystical magical quality that it does not possess. It's like having cool shoes - MAYBE they get you some more attention, which does not mean that even barefoot you can't have steamy sex and happy romances.Plus, you are also probably way overestimating the difficulties of your predicament , due to your insecurity.I mean, no disrespect meant, but in short - you just want to get laid. You want some sexy fun, some action. No judgements, you are single and if casual sex is your idea of great fun, ok go have great fun. But... it can't be that hard, I refuse to believe it . Why ? Because the guys that just want to get laid , and practice faithfully casual sex, ( and buy/ read tit mags ! where are you hanging out, btw, again no offence ) are about quantity not quality. They may aspire to supermodels in theory but in practice they are OK with mostly everything, big breasted or small breasted, as long as you signal availability. The " players " are the least finicky people on earth, and if you don't believe me go sign up for any commercial acting or modeling class then write me back. Ergo, if it's just for fun and mischief, and to liven up things a bit, what the heck do you care what they think about you or your breasts or any other part of your body ?As long as you get your dues...I think your limits are all in your mind ( as limits tend to be ) and that if you don't get the amount of male attention that your modest scope requires, it's not because of your flat chest but because of your general attitude and lack of self confidence. If you go around with a virtual sign that says " forgive me for not being beautiful, I know that my breasts are not worthy of you but pleaaaaase throw me a bone anyway " well... it ain't gonna work.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (22 November 2011):
 I can't say I've noticed that men are more obsessed with big breasted women than other women... You sure you aren't psyching yourself into this because you had a lame ex who made you feel inferior and insecure about your breasts? If he really told you your breasts weren't good enough, as in your reversed "your dick isn't big enough" then he was a jerk. Only a jerk would say such a thing, or even think it for that matter. Not all men are your ex!! It's a common error we make though, we get out of a relationship and think that all men are our ex'es. I've done it myself. I had an ex who was never interested in doing things I wanted to do, moped and whined about it if I suggested something he wasn't all fired up for. It sucked. While I went along to all his choices of activities without whining about it. You get the picture. I dumped him, but the next boyfriend I got only had to reject an activity suggestion from me ONCE, for me to jump into defensive mode and accusing HIM of never wanting to do anything I suggested. Although, it wasn't the new guys fault. It was my ex who never wanted to do things I suggested, and the old feelings were carried along into the new relationship. Which is something you need to watch out for! Men are NOT all the same. And you must be careful with assuming that all men are like your ex. They aren't.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 November 2011):
 No, no, no.... nothing wrong with that at all. So you do want a shallow man who is interested in nothing my tits. I get it. Some fun, feel sexy, nothing too emotional, great sex. Yep, sometimes that's just what a woman needs. Of course this is valid. (scratches out the idea of loving boyfriend)Yep, them guys do like women with certain types of bodies. They want a trophy, someone to talk about with their friends, a real living porn doll.Your ex boyfriend liked big breasts, and he was rude, and thoughtless. He didn't care about your feelings, he made you feel ugly and insecure. Now you want bigger breast so you can go and find another guy exactly like him. Are you sure that you have healed yourself, and this is not a form of vengeance. If you told a man his dick was too small, that would be hurtful and rude, just like when a man tells you your breasts are too small. It's nothing to do with breasts, it's the fact that you are going out with a man who is a rude pig. If you had big breasts, he'd still tell you your ass was fat, or your body was fat, or your breast remind him of cow udders or something.I got to admit, at your age, when it comes to sex and uncomplicated fun, the guys do want concentrate on breasts. Same here in my country. It's a big issue some young women need to face. But my flat chested friend always picked up the more sexier guys than me. I had big tits, but she had the pretty face.No it's not really childish, your insecure about your body, and men and our current society have made you that way. I don't think women faced that kind of pressure when I was growing up. (But maybe we did) But then again, we did have a stronger feminist movement which concentrated on women being strong enough to tell rude, insulting men to go to hell. It was all about was the guy good enough for us, not are we sexy enough for them.If your not going to have surgery, and you really can't learn to feel at home in your own body. Then please listen to what the aunts have already said. You got to make the most of what you got. Push up bra's, make up, do the best. I'm sure guys do approach you, but maybe not the kind of ones you want to attract. Handsome, sexy, promiscuous, shallow.Normal if you think about it. Everyone looking for the same thing. Women ignore the nice guys who aren't handsome or rich enough for them, and men ignore the nice women who don't have big breasts. Every running after the same few people, leaving everyone else feeling left out abandoned and ignored. It's a form of population control."You don't want the guys to be disappointed" - why not, who cares what they think. As you say, you want shallow, your not looking to make them happy, you just want to feel sexy with some other sexy thing. Guys who will only want you for your breast won't feel disappointed as they can see there not there. And anyway, this is about you having fun I thought, not trying to please a man, you just want to make the honey sweeter so you can attract more bees."I don't get as much attention even though I know I have a femenine looking body" - so guys do notice you, but it's not enough, you want to be more popular. Yep, get that too.You say your mother, your sister they flaunt their breasts.. but that's not all they are doing. They are showing off and saying "hey, I've got confidence". Now that's a thing I definitely know most men like. You want to be more sexy to men, then get more sexy, men go big for a girl with self-confidence, a girl who thinks she's wonderful no matter what her body looks like or whether she's fat or ugly, or even old and grey like me. And I don't think that country specific, if you start believing you look great, then it will shine up your face,and you'll start looking more attractive to everyone.Anyway, good luck, most women have body issues, even the ones with big breasts. Most of it disappears with age, a lot can be done by working on self-confidence and self-esteem. (check online to see if you can pick up some articles)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2011): Miamine, sadly my last relationship was so long and exhausting that right now, the last thing I'm interested in is another long, committed relationship. I just want fun. So what? I think it's valid. I want to feel young, sexy, desirable... all the things that my ex didn't really make me feel... and he was so into big breasts, that I fear someone else, no matter how much he likes my personality or smile, will also be into... I wonder how a man would feel if I told him "I love your smile, absolutely adore your personality and eyes, but your dick is too small". It's just that feeling of not being good enough... or constantly hearing my male friends talk about big boobs, and about how hot girls with big boobs are and about how hot some flat chested girls would be if they had big boobs... maybe in your country it's different and more sizes are appreciated, but where I come from, pneumatic women are still considered the most desirable... I know men aren't perfect either, but the way they talk about women's body parts and flaws is intimidating... and anyway, I'm not looking for a long term boyfriend anyway... I just want to know I'm sexy, I want to know that other men think I'm sexy and hot. What's so wrong about that? It doesn't mean it's the only thing that's important for me in life, I have other priorities, but right now it is an issue... when I look at myself in the mirror, I don't like what I see... iot may be childish but when I look at myself and then compare myself to my busty sister and friends, well... I feel like of course men would find them more attractive because they are what society deems desirable. Even if they're a bit overweight, if they have a flat butt and small hips, they have something that men can't help but like, and I don't. There are so many tit mags... but have you seen a "smile mag" or a "hips mag"? I haven't... it seems to me that men are into breasts more than into other things... but anyway... I'm probably too stupid, huh?Sincerely, OP.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (21 November 2011):
OK.. You don't want a guy who likes personality.. You want a shallow man who only wants a woman who has big breasts. Fine, that's what you want. Save money and go and get surgery then. Get the biggest breasts you can find and then you'll attract the kind of guy you want. Problem solved.
Unfortunately big breasts don't seem to help porn stars who are in search of love. Personally I don't know many guys who want to marry a girl with no personality and very big breasts. But that's fine, you didn't mention marriage. Also don't know many guys that stay with girls who have no personality but very big breasts. But that's fine, you didn't say you wanted a guy to stay, you just want guys to notice your breasts. I do know many guys who will want to have sex with a big breasted girl with no personality. Guys do this all the time. They like the breast, they have sex, then they dump her. They sometimes pass her telephone number around to other guys who like big breasted girls who have no personality and nothing else interesting about them.
So your not interested in a guy who shares your love of books, or music or films. You just want a guy who is as interested in breasts as you are, because somehow you think he will look at your body, get disappointed and start crying. Don't know many guys who are interested in such a relationship. Just talking about breasts and how they are big and nothing else. But that's what you say you want right. And that's fine. Your views are important too. Don't know about you being the sexiest thing on earth, that means you want a man that lies, because if you were that sexy, wouldn't you be famous?
Funny, when I talk to guys (yep, I got big breasts) that doesn't seem to be the thing they are interested in. They seem more interested in the way I dance, or the way I tell silly jokes, they love when I loose me temper and think that I can knock out a 7ft criminal. Nope, I'm not the prettiest girl, so I don't have a ton of guys running after me. But then I'm looking for quality, not quantity. Guys I know, whatever their looks, seem to be interested in talking about books, or yoga, or what happens when we die. Know lots of guys who like big tits, but I never met a guy who fell in love with them, or was as bothered about them as you seem to be. I also know big breasted very pretty girls who couldn't get a date.
To me, guys seem to like all women - but the only thing they hate is women with body issues and insecurities. They feel inadequate to deal with such things, because it really needs therapy. When you get these big breasts and you get the man that loves them, will you then be happy, or will you still be crying because, your guy loves your breasts, but hates everything else about you. Will you always be wondering, does he love ME, and all that I am, or is it my body and sex that he wants?
Women do seem to forget, men are human too, they are not just sex crazed beasts. They like back rubs, and bicycle rides, they got their own body issues, but they don't seem to worry about it the way women do. Wonder what a nice sensitive handsome guy would say, if he knows you think he's so shallow, and sex obsessed that he can't be a woman's friend, he can't like her smile, he can only throw his tongue out and long for a woman whose breast stick out a mile.
I'll give you some advice. Stop looking and worrying about your body and how to get romantic with men. Stop concentrating on yourself and start reaching out to other people. Start looking at men as people, try to get to know them better, find some to be your friends. You will be surprised, just at how nice and funny some guys are, and yes, not all men like big breast, some men long legs, and some a big heart, or a big smile or long hair. Shock - Horror - some men even love girls who have small breasts
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (21 November 2011):
So you are a pear. Others are apples, and a few of us are hour glasses. The less lucky ones are sticks, or even worse: masculine with small hips and wide shoulders.
A pear is beautifully feminine. The media loves hour-glasses, but we all know that pears and apples are the most common sort of ladies out there, and equally adored by the men.
Men probably don't ask you to dance because you are insecure and "hide" in your skin, rather than showing confidence and flaunting what you've got. In a dark club with drinking and dancing, guys don't look at your boobs to determine who they will dance with. They go with the ones who are approachable, outgoing, take initiative, someone they can find a conversation started with and someone who looks like a load of fun. If you are sitting and laughing your ass off with your friends you will get attention. If you are out there on the dancefloor enjoying yourself and your moves you will get attention. If you flirt you will get attention.
So maybe some guys like bigger boobs, I don't know what you qualify to be "big boobs" and what qualifies as "small boobs". But I really doubt your boobs are a problem here when it comes to attracting men. I have flat chested friends with big hips and thighs and they get tons of attention.
Small boobs doesn't say anything of a persons physical attractiveness. They are equally beautiful as larger ones. It's the big picture that counts, and quite honestly men are far more attracted to a beautiful smile (for example) than breast size. Besides, we all know men love breasts, in all sizes and shapes.
What you should do is learn how to dress sexy. Go shopping. Find a top that highlights your attributes, and defines your breasts. Then there are push-up bra's (they're NOT faking it, they are just giving you some extra sparkle), and then you can put on makeup to enhance a cleavage (the make-up is added to your chest, not face). Try it out one time. There are several tutorials online, and yes, women DO use make-up to enhance a cleavage. Hollywood stars do it all the time, besides the photoshopping. So don't be embarrassed about it. I add some make-up and extra padding for fancy dresses and nights out as well, it's perfectly acceptable. You do what you need to do to feel hot and sexy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): All the comments above are amazing! It's true be who you ate that's what matters
I'm flatish and lots of my friends got implants but it didn't get them anywhere!! The right guy will want you for you (.)(.) as you are
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (21 November 2011):
 Large breasts to ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to make or enhance a woman's sexuality.... Better to work on your smile and personality (if they need any help)....
ANY guy who is fixated on your (or others') breasts isn't worth your time or effort to get to know.....
You sound like a sharp lady... now go out there and find one of the decent guys who doesn't give a darn about your bra size!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): I dont think most men like bigger ones.
I used to go out when 18-20 years old. I was the flat chest of the group but seemed to pick up guys just as much as the friends with breasts.
I think its all about attitude. Instead of focusing on your breasts (that can't be changed unless you want to be fake and go through with implants), start emphasizing your legs, or your waist or your hair and beautiful face.
Those men who do notice boobs first, may see them but then they look beyond that and want someone with a fun personality, a pretty face and someone who cares about themself and shows some confidence.
Have fun and accept who you are then someone nice will come along!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2011): You are putting too much imphasis on your breast. I had a guy that use to want me to be thicker, said I should go to the gym more. Said I would be amazing if I gained weight, had bigger hips and a butt. I am naturally lean, my current boyfriend LOVES my body, he likes me for me I and I love it. I accept my body more and more now and I think you should try to accept yours. If you feel disporportionate you probably are not. P.S. some men are attracted to small breast. It is a FACT. And I think girls with small breast look cute in shirts, tanks ect. Especially if they have a toned body..it is cute.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 November 2011):
 Think of all the things you can do when you have a smaller bosom!
You can run without fear of black eyes.
You can jump without having to worry about backache.
You won't have tits on your knees when you are old.
You can actually wear tighter shirts without showing the whole world your goodies.
LEARN how to dress your body. If a guy is just interested in big boobies, he's not a keeper anyhow, because at some point the DD's he liked so much needs to be FF's og HH's.
Honey, If you have a smaller frame smaller boobs look better.
Also, I think the reason guys don't buy you drinks is due to the insecurity you beam out across the place.
Learn to love yourself - makes it easier for others to do ditto.
Chin up!
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