A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex showed up at a club where he had to have known there was a 99-percent chance I'd be there.(It's my friend that was DJ'ing and hosting the party).He was NEVER part of the scene I'm in - in fact, I brought him to the first party when we started dating.2 and 1/2 months ago, I found evidence of his online cheating, which lead to a phone and text relationship with a girl. I'm sure there was more, but that's all the proof I needed. I confronted him about it, and he lied to my face - denied it saying the girl must have just gotten his phone number off FB and was "crazy. I then told him to get out of my apartment if he was going to lie to me. He locked himself in my bathroom instead of discussing it like an adult, and then moved all his stuff out of my apartment in the next 2 hours when I went to work. He then sent me a text "have a good life. goodbye." After 8 months, that's how he ended it. I tried to call him for days to talk about it or at least end in a mature way and he NEVER returned my call.Fast forward 2 and 1/2 months and he comes to the club where I am. He ignored me - and at one point, walked past me and put his head down. The girl that invited him (I thought was a friend) said "uh oh" as he passed me.I didn't confront him because I'm sure - based on the cowardly way he ended it with me - that he'd just walk away. I also didn't want to create drama in the club. So , it begs the question - WHY did he come? it could be arrogance to show that he can hang in my world without me? or to try to make me jealous? or to show that he doesn't care?Thoughts? I was in love with him and it's been torturing me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (2 February 2012):
 Do you really want him back?
Do you really think he will change?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: well he came to another party and saw me and we didn't speak. The next day he text me and said he owed me an apology. I agreed to meet him and he apologized for hours and said he lives with regret for what he did. Can't stop thinking about me. Wants me back. I listened and left. Not sure what to do now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (31 October 2011):
I would just ignore him right back. He isn't worth the time.
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A
male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (31 October 2011):
 There's any number of reasons why he went. Perhaps he knew other people there were there and it didn't click to him that you would be there, or perhaps he did know you were there and wanted to see you. Maybe he wanted to see if you had moved on and had a new boyfriend or he wanted to talk to you but didn't know how to approach you so he ignored you instead. There's no real telling unless you ask him or perhaps ask whoever invited him.Either way, he sounds immature and childish. If he was serious about his relationship to you, he would have talked things out with you and not locked himself in a bathroom like a teenage girl going through puberty.He hurt you and that's an unfortunate and frustrating thing. All you can do now is try to move on. Accept what he did and that the relationship is over and try to move on from him.Best of luck
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