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age
13-15,
anonymous
writes: Ok, so Im 15 and every lad I know thinks Im ugly. Even the ones who, themselves never get girlfriends, call me ugly. It really, really gets me down. They dont count my personality or how well we get on for anything. I DO have a nice body and my boobs are of decent size (34D) but that never gets noticed. All my friends are getting boyfriends and have had them recently. You might say "Its not all about looks" but, believe me, with every lad I know, it is!! Im starting to feel abnormal and like Im never going to get a boyfriend and be happy!! Im really jealous of pretty girls and would kill to be them....just for one day!! No matter how I try to improve my look (straightening my hair, make-up, clothes, etc) it never works. My friends and family tell me im pretty but they're only say that because they have to. Will i ever find someone?? does EVERY lad go for looks?? I really need help with this one. Luciie...xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2008): hey, i used to feel xactly lyk u did at ur age.i thote havin a boyfrend meant a person bein pretty.wen guys dint ask me owt o wen i ws told ur ugly,it hurt,it shattered my self esteem but i neva let it show..i used to hide behind humour!bt lyk u i confided in ma frends hu pointed to things that were good in me!and now dat im older iv realised guys(not all of dem) dont care bow wot a person looks lyk but care bow wots on the insyd.its only recently i fownd owt dat d guy hu used to call me ugly in high school actali fancied me and asked me owt quite recently!my advice to u is2 b patient and dont wish to hav boyfrends coz ur frends hav sum.try gaining self esteem by seein things dat u lyk in ur self-it worked for me..xXx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): Hey girl
Listen, alot of girls go through the same thing at your age and guess what? Those are the same girls that those guys want to date in high school and college. Your body is not fully matured yet and everything will come together! I felt SOO awkward in middle school and into high school. By the 2nd year, I almost felt like a new person because I became comfortable with myself! You will see - soon everything will come together and you will start to feel alot mor confident...confidence is VERY attractive!
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A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 Awww....honey do not be so hard on yourself. I would bet my bottom dollar that you have your own kind of lovliness and somewhere out there you WILL meet someone who is going to like you for just who you are. You have probably been told that before but I believe it to be true. I agree with the other posters...try not to let it get you down but it is soooo hard at the age you are at. I do know that two of my fav actresses, Julianne Moore and Sandra Bulluck said THEY were homely in high school and no one gave them a second look and look how they turned out. Just because there is no one in your school who has noticed you does not mean anything...there will be someone...just do not hide from the world so he can find you. Good luck sweetie and keep us posted.xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, bemused +, writes (12 July 2008):
Awww....honey do not be so hard on yourself. I would bet my bottom dollar that you have your own kind of lovliness and somewhere out there you WILL meet someone who is going to like you for just who you are. You have probably been told that before but I believe it to be true. I agree with the other posters...try not to let it get you down but it is soooo hard at the age you are at. I do know that two of my fav actresses, Julianne Moore and Sandra Bulluck said THEY were homely in high school and no one gave them a second look and look how they turned out. Just because there is no one in your school who has noticed you does not mean anything...there will be someone...just do not hide from the world so he can find you. Good luck sweetie and keep us posted.xxxxxxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Who Cares what those people think. If they're so immature that they will only date people who are "good looking" then just let them get on with it. They are the ones who will be worse off because most pretty girls are stuck up and horrible people. Just Focus more on school work, having fun with your friends and being proud of who you are. Eventually you will find someone who loves everything about you.
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A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker  + ♥, writes (11 July 2008):
 What attracts boys most, particularly as they start to mature a bit, is a little complicated - but it's most definitely NOT just about good looks.
I'm sure you don't look half as bad as you seem to think you do. Let's put it bluntly: you're fairly sure you aren't going to win any beauty competitions, right? That's OK. In fact that's good. I certainly wouldn't want any of those sort of women. Although, obviously, there are exceptions, girls who end up in a solid, loving relationship that really does last are mainly the very average-looking girls - so if you aren't one of the world's greatest beauties then you're probably onto a winner in the long run.
But right now I don't suppose you're interested in the long run. You want here and now, don't you?
OK. As I started saying, attraction isn't mostly about good looks. A girl who makes boys look, makes the heart jump, creates the "wow I wish I was with her" factor, has attitude, poise and confidence, and not necessarily much more - although some degreee of intelligence and the ability to hold a reasonable conversation helps too. That's what you need to concentrate on, because that's what will get you the boyfriends. Of course, as soon as they grow up a little, most of those boys who right now can't see past a superficial appearance will start to learn that looks don't really matter one iota, but you'll have to wait a few years for that. If you want boyfriends now, then be confident in yourself; hold your head high and look down on the lot of them! They'll come running - just give it a bit of time.
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A
male
reader, Spirit_Of_Iona +, writes (11 July 2008):
 You are lacking self-confidence.. you say yourself you have a nice body and you have a personality and yes I'd agree with you in today's society it is all about looks and if you don't have them it is hard. Your family say you are pretty for one reason and one reason it is not because they have to it is because they love you ... answer me this do they love you because of what you perceive you look like or because you are there daughter and I'd add to your mum and dad you will always be pretty There are three types of Love Eros Philia and Agape.. Eros is self explanatory... Phwoar I couldn't half fancy him.. Philia... you're my best friend and Agape... I would give my all for you Now would you rather have someone who loves you because of your body and boobs, the way you look or what you can do for them... someone who loves you because you've chosen to be their friend or someone who loves you because of who you are and the only one who matters to them Looks are superficial.. Remember the art of loving others starts with loving yourself, you need to be at ease with yourself and once you do that others will begin to notice you. Furthermore you're wrong about clothes and hair..what you need to do is stop competing and get smarter. Look up colour me beautiful on the web you will find links to matching make up and colours of clothes to hair and body tone, keep in shape (stay off the comfort and junk foods eat healthy and send me that cream trifle) these add to skin tone and colour. You may never make the cover of vogue but hey neither will I and neither will the so called pretty set at your school.Be gracious and forgiving it is the finest gift and the most potent weapon, keep your dignity and do not sacrifice your purity in the puruit of intimacy cos you won't find it, keep your sense of humour for when things get tough and learn a little self reliance so you can cope when others shun you and if you let love come to you it will surely find you and rememberLove Conquers all
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A
female
reader, MaggieMay  +, writes (11 July 2008):
 Every one told me I was ugly too the whole time I was growing up. I wouldn't take it too seriously. I don't know why young people enjoy insulting each other, but they do. None of it will matter after you get out of high school. Just be strong and don't let them destroy your confidence. Confidence is of utmost importance in attracting mates. Don't worry about getting a boyfriend at the moment and focus on yourself, developing your hobbies and interests. The boys will come around in time.
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie + ♥, writes (11 July 2008):
 If a guy tells you you're ugly it means that they're not meant for you. And also, you're looking here at 15-year olds. Teenagers who don't even have an idea about life and have a shallow sense of beauty. I bet that when you grow up and go to college or out to the world you'll find guys who will appreciate you for who YOU are instead of how you look or what you do. I used to feel the same way you do. I didn't have a boyfriend at your age as well and I saw so many girls having boyfriends. I really didn't want one, but not having a guy asking me out made me feel not pretty. I always thought that guys didn't like me because I was ugly and let myself down many times. I even sometimes heard some girls calling me "ugly" for not having a boyfriend. Nowadays, I realize the reason I wasn't asked out was because I was intimidating because of my intelligence and that in fact I'm a beautiful person inside and out. Guys were afraid of me being smart and I guess they must be afraid of you as well. It may be the way you dress or some things you excell at. But regardless, never EVER let this put you down. You are a beautiful person, no matter how many people tell you you're not, because YOU know you're one. I know this may sound silly to you now, but it's the truth. A good excersise that helped me believe this was that whenever you woke up and went to the restroom, I would look myself in the mirror, smile, and said to myself "I'm a beautiful person, both inside and out". Go ahead and try it, I bet to you it will work, just give it time.And to answer your question, yes, you will find someone who will love you and adore you and not every guy go for looks. Maybe guys at your age (even older guys do this) but the trick is to spot the ones who don't and those will not screw you over.Good luck and please do the excersise I told you. It will work!
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven + ♥, writes (11 July 2008):
 Trite but there: there's somebody for everybody. You WILL find the right person for you, if you maintain a positive outlook. That's important because if you sit around moping about how you're never going to have anyone, chances are you won't.
Don't fret over it right now. And no, not all guys go for looks. One of the greatest "beauties" in history, Egyptian Queen Cleopatra, was not even as good as average looking, yet she managed to acquire, as lovers, several of the most important men in the world in her time. And you'll find that a lot of the more fun and interesting guys you'll eventually meet will be interested in things besides looks as well. You're at an age now when guys often fixate on superficial things. Don't worry ... most of them, the ones worth having, will grow out of that stage pretty soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2008): Well when you get older and boys start to get less shallow and more mature thats when you'll shine above the rest.
If its bothering you, chat to boys online. They won't be able to see you and you'll be able to talk to them confidentally on there.
Don't worry about your looks. Boyfriends aren't everything, and I'm sure you really aren't as bad as your making out.
There are boys out there! - I'm not advertising myself, but there are boys out there who will prefer personality over looks. If your 13 years old, then unfortunatley the number of them is limited, but as you get older you'll realize boys get more mature.
Read other peoples comments, sorry I can't be of more help and support.
*CJ-Gecko!*
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