A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I got married to a guy, a year later he cheated on me with my best friend, we had a child together. we did not talk for about 2 years, now he is back to see our child, in the mean time a met another guy and got married and had a second child everything was great then i cheated on my husband with my ex. Now it has been almost a year later and we are still cheating, he loves me and wants to be with me, but i love them both and do not trust the ex, because i do not want what happened the first time to happen again to me and now i have two children to care for. What do i do, when i think that i love the ex more though?
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affair, best friend, cheated on me, cheated on my husband, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, penta +, writes (10 April 2007):
 If you want what's best for your children, stay with the man who has been true to you. Cut off all contact with your ex (except for child visitation).
He obviously likes the "forbidden" aspect of love. Right now, it's "forbidden" to be with you. If you go back to him, he'll find someone else to have this feeling with. You won't have any kind of stable relationship with him.
I feel most sorry for your current husband, though. ChiRaven has some good points. Don't go back to the cheater, and stop cheating. This has the possibility to blow up in your face, and then what happens to your children?
A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (10 April 2007):
 Let me get this straight. You're cheating on your husband, but you don't want to go back to your ex-husband because you're afraid that HE might cheat on YOU?
Do I sense just a whiff of hypocrisy here somewhere?
Lady, I don't know how you can expect to hold you husband, or your ex-husband, to a higher standard of fidelity than the one you set for yourself. If you want to HAVE a true lover, start out by BEING a true lover.
The best you can do, in this situation, is to try starting over with a clean slate with your ex. See if you can get him to forgive and forget everything that has gone on in the past, and you do the same. BOTH of you make a serious commitment (and really mean it this time) that you are going to stick to one another exclusively ... no sneaking around to get a little with somebody else on the side. If BOTH of you can reach that kind of an agreement, and really mean it, maybe you are ready for an adult relationship.
"Adult" doesn't mean that you are ready to make babies. "Adult" means that you are ready to accept the day in and day out responsibility of being true to your partner no matter who else might come along. If either or both of you are not ready to do that, then you really haven't grown up enough to be ready for that kind of a relationship yet.
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