A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know reading my post, my age is going to be the first thing you would all look at. Can't she be wise? At her age??I have reached a point in my life where I am so tired of being disrespected that I have started seeing it as a normal occurrence. I am not indecent. I don't do sex talk with guys. Why do guys always send me pictures of their private part? I have gotten so tired of being angry and deleting them off that I accept it now. It even turns me on.Am I having a mental retardation? I had a man send me pictures of his privates and all he does is talk about sex and love. I find myself increasingly attracted to this vile man even when I know he disrespected me. This is how much I've gotten tired of cutting off people who send me pictures of their privates. I don't know if I am going crazy for me to be attracted to this man. Can someone tell me I am not crazy. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 February 2017):
 OP if your father abused you, then he was part of your life. It's a sign of strength that you cut him off. Now that you know you can block and delete an abuser, what would stop you from blocking and deleting online sexual predators?
Set your Facebook privacy to a level where your friends can interact with you, but you are not visible to random men on there. It's really simple.
I would suggest that you contact your doctor and ask for a counseling referral.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 February 2017):
 OP, I fully agree that it is MINDBOGGLING that (some) men (mostly men) think that ANYONE wants to open a message with a picture of a dick. I don't get it at all.
Thankfully, I have only been sent ONE dick pic (actually it was a video, yeah JUST as gross) and I took immediate action. I play online games (with my husband mainly) but as many games have guild/kinships etc. We play with a large group of people who ALSO talk/e-mail/text/forums off the game and ONE of our YOUNGER members decided that he should send that video to some of the women players. WHY? I honestly don't know? We would ALL have banter (nothing really inappropriate or overtly sexual) but fun none the less.
I was the FIRST to speak out (I didn't know several women had gotten this video) and say this is NOT OK. And Thankfully the majority of male (and female) members agreed and "kicked" him out of the guild, the forums, and everyone was encouraged to put him on ignore. NO ONE WANTS to receive UNSOLICITED pictures or videos.
Now IF you are in a relationship and you BOTH find "naughty" and nude pics a turn on and share those - FINE.
And I get it, you still want your online social life and you SHOULD be able to have one. So MAYBE you need to adjust your privacy settings? And be SUPER consistent with blocking & reporting guys who are being inappropriate.
IT IS ridiculous that you have to "police" people online like that - unfortunately, MANY people don't KNOW how to behave online OR rather they CHOOSE to ignore common sense and common decency. And I'm SO sorry you are having to even DEAL with that. I have 3 daughters and that is not something I'd want them to EVER have to deal with. I don't want ANY woman to have to deal with harassment EVER (or men).
Just remember THIS is not happening BECAUSE you are doing something to encourage it. BUT it will continue as LONG as you ALLOW it. Don't give a guy who does this a second change. He BLEW it the moment he thought you NEEDED a picture of his dick in your life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@mystiquek the man who sent me his pic is 37 years old, the other guys were between ages 25 and 34. They are not withing my age range. I met most of them through facebook and I cannot delete my facebook page because of them. Maybe I would just take a break off it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@tisha. My dad has never been a part of my life. He abused me mentally so I cut him off.
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female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (6 February 2017):
 You will be disrespected if you allow it to happen. When a man sends you that kind of a pic, I wouldn't even bother to reply, I'd delete and block him. End of story. Its rude and presumptuous. My ex husband did that to me one time, thought he was being cute. I blocked his number and he had to go to our daughter (in her 20's) to find out why I had blocked him. DUH! I also go to a chat site to chat with friends I have overseas and sometimes men on there will try and cam with me or send me pics. They don't get a second chance, they are blocked and reported. I don't tolerate such crap.
I'm not sure why you are allowing them to do this or enjoying it but perhaps you don't think enough of yourself and figure its all you can get?? Oh my dear, you can do soooo much better. You can't stop men from sending it to you the first time but you can certainly stop it from happening again! If you don't like this type of behavior, then DO NOT allow it to happen. Guys your age typically think with one head and if they think they can get away with it...they will certainly try to. Wiseowl and Honeypie gave excellent advice. If you are on apps and this is happening, maybe its time to get off those apps. If you meet someone in person, I would be bold enough to explain, if I give you my number and you send me anything out of line..I will not respond and block you. All there is to it.
Don't settle for less than what you want and deserve my dear. A nice guy isn't going to do this to a lady he barely knows. Guys that do this are needy and want attention. Let them go elsewhere to find it.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 February 2017):
If all the men you meet are sending you dick picks, then you need to change your dating pool. Are you by any chance meeting them on social media? I'm guessing you're not meeting them in real life.
If you are questioning your sanity, I'd advise you to take a break from social media and texting, turn off the devices and get back out into real life with your friends and family. Take a brisk walk or do a yoga class or go to the gym. Meet up with girlfriends and make dinner together. Volunteer your time to a good cause.
If you are amenable to being groomed like this, something is missing from your life. Is your dad around?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2017): Dick pics are part of a fad; and it's getting right to the point for those guys who are only looking for sex, and no real commitment. It's a test. Hit or miss?
People find each other on hookup apps these days; so the finesse of wooing a woman with respect and romance is becoming out-dated. The old-timey romantic approach is not totally nonexistent; but it seems crudeness is more allowable, depending on your age-group. Shock-value is revered.
It also depends on where you're meeting these guys. If at bars and clubs, don't be surprised. Party-boys and frat-boys are obnoxious in their approach, and that stems from immaturity. Not to mention stupidity and crassness.
Blame it's popularity on social-media, and a strong sense of entitlement in millennials. Yes, you are right! It is totally disrespectful, and if the guy is hot; it can be a turn-on. Don't give-in to it. Don't accept it as the norm, just because it happens too often for you.
Most of all, you are by no means to blame. It's bad male-behavior and they only do it if they really don't feel anything for you; but want you to know it's strictly about sex, and no strings attached.
I'm gay. When I was single, I was frequently getting them from guys; because in our culture, being direct is widely acceptable. Not necessarily tolerable. You'd think men over 40 would know better. They figured you'd just get so hot and bothered you'd throw all caution to the wind. Yes, I was sometimes tempted; because I got a sample of what's to come. (No pun intended!) I didn't go for the bait, because there was a bigger dick attached to the one in the picture. I wouldn't be surprised if that's where it all originated.
No self-respecting intelligent guy sends out pics of his junk, not knowing who's hands the image could end-up in. Any pair of eyes can view his junk. Even gay-eyes, if he's a straight-guy. Most don't care, but YOU should!!!
If you're going to put-out for those jerks? Accept it. If you feel you deserve better, delete and block them. Tell them you'll share them with all your gay-male friends, and introduce them.
You are becoming desensitized, but don't lower your standards because of it. Be ever mindful that you deserve better and will find it. Consider it an offense. React accordingly.
You can't stop them once you give them your number; but you can tell them before-hand not to send you trashy pics, or keep stepping. Let them know you're not up for that kind of disrespect right from the get go. Then you're likely not to hear from them at all. No loss, unless you're mindlessly horny. But you still have your honor and dignity to protect.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@honeypie. I met all of them from facebook. I cannot delete my facebook because I have my school friends there. I would have to continue blocking and deleting these guys.
I don't ask people for pictures of their privates. They just send it from no where. I wonder where the world is going to with this. Thank you for your contribution.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 February 2017):
Why do guys send dick pics?
Honestly? I don't know. I think most guys who DO this FAIL to understand that MOSt women do not find it an attractive body part to look at. it's rarely impressive add even LESS wanted.
Personally (and this would be MY standard) if I was talking to someone and they out of the blue send me a dick pic or started on inappropriate sexual MONOLOGUE, I would block them in a heart beat.
Why has it become a "normal" thing for you or maybe even a turn on? I think if this happens often you are DISMISSING your own standard and feeling - and think that ANY attention (even dick pics etc.) is better than none. That MAYBE in ALL of these guys ONE of them is perhaps interested in you as a person, not just as someone they want to have sex with.
My guess is the GUY you mention who not only sent you dick pics and all he does is talk about sex and love - is HOPING to toss in the word LOVE to "trigger" am emotion in you (and it's working). He is basically "grooming you to ACCEPT his advances no matter how outrageous they are. His behavior and actions are NOT that of LOVE. He isn't doing and saying these things out of love.
I have to ask WHERE do you meet all these guys? Tindr? Dating sites? Of Facebook?
Let's say it's Tindr (as it's well known as a hookup app)- WHY not delete Tindr and get off that app? If the NORM for whatever app or site is that YOU get dick pics from men - REMOVE YOURSELF.
Are you going crazy for being attracted to that man? I'd say no, but you ARE not being "true" to yourself either. And you ARE ignoring potential red flags from these guys. IF you believe that it IS disrespectful for guys to send you unsolicited pictures - then it Is a bit daft to continue to talk to him, don't you think?
So delete the app and remove yourself from this. It OBVIOUSLY doesn't have a healthy influence on you.
Take a break from trying to either meet new people or date. Go out with friends, spend time with GOOD solid people. Talk to people (guys included) in person. Bet you that won't whip out their dick for inspection in a public place (and if they do, please laugh and walk away).
Sending unsolicited pornographic pictures is harassment. Don't "normalize" or trivialize" it. In the workplace, it would be called SEXUAL HARASSMENT. Even if you don't work with these guys it's STILL HARASSMENT.
Think about it, if guys told you they wanted to rape you on an almost daily basis would you find them attractive? Would you find that appropriate? Would you CONTINUE to talk to them? Would you ALLOW that in your life?
YOU DO NOT owe ANY of these men to continue to talk to them or look at their genitals.
My advice? The first time they SAY or SEND (as in type/text/pic) something sexual in a conversation that was totally unsolicited - let them know that it's unwanted and that you will block them. OR just BLOCK them without telling them. NO NEED for an explanation, they KNOW why you blocked them.
KNOW your standards. Know what you are OK with and what you are NOT. And stick to them. It doesn't MAKE you a "prude" or "immature" or "no fun" to NOT want pick pics. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having the EXPECTATION of a stranger showing you common decency and respect. NO matter your gender.
And lastly, OP (but perhaps the most important part!) IT IS NOT your fault that guys send you these dick pics. IF you haven't been ASKING for them or DARING them to do it - they had ABSOLUTELY no reason to send those. They had NO right to send them.
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