A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes: I'm 51 she is 55. The other day, sitting on her couch Very close together side by side. I looked at her and told her for the first time I loved her. Without looking at me, looking forward she said I know.... I asked if she loved me... She turn turned her head away from me and said no... I don't.... I expected that. I then asked her if she at least liked me. She turned her head towards me, looked me in the eyes, hers sparkling, and said I like you a LOT. Then she told me she has a friend that she likes who lives 35 miles away. ( 45 minutes travel one way in decent weather. ( She told me she met him in May.She said she's seen him once in the last 60 days. They mainly talk on the phone. She told me he tells her on the phone that he loves her.( they rarely see each other because of distance) I asked her if she loves him. Without looking at me, looking forward she draws a breath and slowly exhales while saying I don't know. Sounded to me She said I scared her a while back when she realized what I was thinking about her. Yet here is a guy 35 miles away that tells her on the phone he loves her,yet she isn't scared of that? I'm thinking she scared herself. I didn't. I'm thinking she feels more secure in a long distance relationship. She says they now only talk 30 seconds to 20 minutes. Mainly just to check in with each other. What do you think?
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female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (27 December 2013):
 So you two are not actually dating right now? How long have you been seeing her? I'm assuming whatever you have is informal otherwise she would be this open about another special male friend and you wouldn't be this calm.
It was probably premature for your to express such strong feelings for her. It may very well be that she prefers the security of a long distance relationship. Either she is uncomfortable with intimacy or she just likes her personal space a great deal (understandable).
Obviously we can't know for certain what is in her mind, but it seems fair to say she's warned you not to get too close (or at least not too quickly). Hang back and just enjoy each other's company. If she wants more, she'll let you know.
A
female
reader, Brokenv +, writes (27 December 2013):
Sorry to say this but you need to realize that she does not love you......she likes you ALOT. Big difference.
You need to make 2014 yours. You need to let her go and find someone who is going to love you and want you. Huge difference than like ALOT.
Do this for you and yours needs. She will NEVER fulfill your needs.
Good Luck and all the best for 2014. xx
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A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (27 December 2013):
Do you actually believe her about the other chap?She might be in a long term relationship with him or he might be a fabrication to keep you at arms length.She doesn't sound as if she wants to commit to you.You should cool it with her and keep a distance to see how she reacts.It wasn,it seemed like a very clear statement.'t a good sign she turned her head away
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 December 2013):
 Been there; done that.....
I wouldn't waste another minute trying to figure out what is going on in your "girlfriend's" head....
She doesn't love you... has some sort of other goings-on going on.... so, where is there time/space/energy for you??????
Get away now.... and don't look back....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2013): Hi there, first of all happy holidays to you and all the best for 2014 !!
Secondly, your lady said she likes you a lot, that is a good start, she is not in love with you yet !! Did she say it's too early in a relationship to express your feelings and if she wants to take things a bit more slowly?
How long have you been together? you just mentioned she met the other guy in May !!
Nonetheless, she in a place where she is not even sure about her feelings for the other guy, she saw him once in 2 months !! which is a long time not to see someone you have feelings for. I don't know her BUT she might be in love with the idea of him, she might be just excited about this guy because he lives more in her own fantasy, he lives far away and out of reach. Talking to him on the phone for a max of 20 minutes is not enough time to develop feelings and to build a relationship. That said she needs to let you know where do YOU stand in your relationship with her !! does she sees you as a good friend or is she ready to commit to you. Ask her before it's too late to back off to avoid getting hurt. Good luck
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