A
female
age
30-35,
*ola29
writes:Hey, Im 18 years old and i just got back with my boyfriend after a 5 month break. He has changed to a very sweet person and regretted everything he has done to me. and i was good enough to forgive him, since im not so perfect either, but the break was good enough for me to heal and learn from it. anyways, i went over to my boyfriends place on the weekend and he was high off nutmeg, i didnt go for it, since i wasnt in the mood. and he was acting very over protective, and it was a completely different side of him i have ever seen, he wouldnt let me go anywhere even to the bathroom and would mention how hes so scared he wont see me for another week because its too much for him and he sounded like he was crying abit, and i think he did but i couldnt see his face since he was suffocating me lol. anyways, i was so shocked he said that, coz ive never heard him be that protective and hes always trying to show he's open minded and cares dearly for my freedom and what i want, which is my space. I just brushed this attitude off, because he wasnt in his right mind, and he is an emotional person, we didnt talk the day after since i was busy and out with my family, but after that day, he sent me texts nonstop asking to see me and that he feels so right with me around and how he wants to move closer to be around me. i kept wondering whether he truly does feel the way he does, he has told me he is attached to me but i dont know.I seem like im very cautious and distance myself, but thats because i do have trust issues with not only him but alot of people in my life, i try to accept that he does realy love me but sometimes i tend to think negatively and wonder if hes being unfaithful and just uses me for physical pleasure. please help. am i the one having emotional issues, or could this mean he just uses me. He likes being physically close and tends to think this is the way i can be happy if we're sexually active, but sometimes it makes me feel liek the only reason he wants to see me or go out is so he can use me.
View related questions:
in the mood, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (24 October 2009):
 an alternative theory: maybe he feels self conscious about his being on nutmeg around you and wants to be sure that you still accpet him and is feeling a little frantic cause you're acting distant. i'm wondering why you got back together, you say the break was enough to heal from problems in the past but it's important that very early on in getting back together you reestablish your relationship together, not on your own; instead you're already very consciously keeping a barrier between you two. maybe he's acting so insistent because he's nervous you two will break up again and with your guard up, it doesn't make the relationship easy. i think you should take it slow with him, you know, don't have a sexual relationship for a while, and see if he's still around. if he cheated before, and that's why you're a little distant, i'd evaluate what you think makes this time different: being around him MORE will help you gauge his loyalty and gain confidence in his fidelity.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 October 2009):
I would say that you've learnt well. I'm not sure this guy is worth your time. Rather than being protective, he sounded seriously controlling. I certainly think you should take this slowly. He's taking it all too quickly considering he hurt you before. Be very careful. If you still feel the way in a few months, then consider moving on.
...............................
|
