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Do you have to be a "bad boy" for girls to like you?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2011) 12 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

This question is for women ,I never had a girlfriend and I'm still looking. But I heard girls like the "bad boys".

I'm a sweet heart guy and I do have confidence, faith, and not a pushover. I am responsible and I would protect my girlfriend from any harm. People say I'm a good kid,I can stand up for my self. I do have a good a sense of humor and funny. People say I'm a cool guy, I just don't want girls think I'm boring.

Do you think any girls out there like me?

View related questions: confidence, never had a girlfriend

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (16 May 2011):

N91 agony auntAmen to this buddy!!

Couldn't agree more, I know exactly where you're coming from. Of all the girls I've like in the past including one right now, I'm nothing but myself, kind and caring and just get brushed aside and forgotten about.

I'd also say I'm a good looking guy, I take care of myself and workout but I think I'm too nice for my own good and you know what they say 'nice guys finish last' and I couldn't agree more with that statement unfortunately.

All I want is a girl that I can treat like a princess and make her as happy as she would make me, but apparently you've got to be a douchebag who treats women like crap to have the opportunity to date someone.

I'm getting real sick of even looking for love anymore because everytime I do I just get knocked down and I think its to do with being too nice.

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2011):

Sweet-thing agony auntIt helps but you don't have to go overboard. Just change your image, buy a motorcycle and skip school once in awhile. Girls are attracted to guys who keep them guessing and sometimes seem a little dangerous (not pyscho dangerous, just risky).

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2011):

well bad boys r cool but sweet heart boys r way cooler and they r nicer

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (15 May 2011):

Odds agony auntIt's more the capacity to be a bad boy than the actual act of being one. A girl has to konw that you have the strength to stand up for her when needed, and the self-respect to leave her if she does not respect you (after all, no one likes a doormat, and love means more when it's from a person who chooses you rather than one who doesn't have the guts to find it anywhere else). Girls want to avoid boredom at all costs. Most girls your age like bad-boy qualities more than nice-guy ones. They want both, but if they have to choose just one, they pick the bad boy ones.

Honestly, being a decent man with the capacity to be a jerk is more difficult to effectively advertise than just being a jerk to start with. Plus, even though nice guys with good qualities outnumber the jerks, the nice guys tend to find one relationship and stick with it, while the bad boys bounce from girl to girl - as a result, they date more girls, and it seems like there are more of them than there really are.

It gets a bit better as you get older - but why wait? Your personality isn't some stagnant, unchanging force beyond your control. Personalities change, and we can influence that change. Nothing says you can't be a little bad now, then settle down a bit when girls start to want nicer guys. Stick to your principles, if they're good ones, but you'd be doing a nice girl a favor if you dated her as a "nice guy who can be bad" rather than leaving her for a real jerk. Good luck.

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A male reader, serenity80 United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2011):

I hate this kind of question, not because it's stupid but because 15 years ago, I was the kind of person who used to wonder the same thing and I wish I knew then what I do now.

The fact is, only damaged girls or girls with no experience girls date "bad boys". Most girls quickly realise what shit actually going out with a bad boy is.

What girls want are guys that are confident, guys who can make decisions, know when to take control, and when to be strong and supportive for them. There's nothing wrong with being "nice", "sweet", "sensitive" but these are not dominant masculine traits.. they are, what you could call, an added bonus which will make an interested girl fall in love with you.

If you were 10 years older, I would say you must be doing something wrong to have not met a girl yet but you're only 16 - 17.. just a young teen. You need to remember, at your age, many girls don't know what they want, and don't know the difference between "bad boys" and boys that would make amazing boyfriends. They need to make those mistakes before they can appreciate what guys like you are really about.

You keep on being the best guy you can and sooner or later.. you're going to hit it off with a great girl and then everything else will fall in to place.

Trust me buddie, it's only gonna get better as you get older and more experienced with women

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A male reader, senior.2013 United States +, writes (15 May 2011):

I'm in the same place. Its annoying, I agree.

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A female reader, auntyR United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2011):

don't be daft! I've never dated or been in relationships with "bad boys". Usually those type of guys are a waste of space. Why would a woman want to be with a guy who treats her like rubbish just so he can have a bad boy image. That phase usually grows out once teenage girls realise it;s aload of rubbish. Just be yourself and when the right girl comes along it will happen naturally for you. Don't go looking for love, it will always find you when the time is right.

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A female reader, KeighleySky United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2011):

KeighleySky agony auntI have never been attracted to that bad boy thing. I find them childish and extremely annoying. I've always been attracted to the good guy, the guy who will hold a door open for you, the guy who will phone an ambulance for a stranger, the guy who will show me his true feelings even if he hides them around others, the guy who will wait in the rain for me for over and hour.

This type of guy is really hard to find, you are one of them. And beleive me, girls really do go for that. My boyfriend is my good guy and I'm more attracted to him than i could ever be to some childish serial cheat.

Only the idiotic girls go for the bad guys, the girls who dont really care if their hurt or not. The right girls go for the good guys, and you'll find yours, just give it time. These things can't be rushed.

Hope thats helped :)

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A male reader, Fernando Garcia  United States +, writes (15 May 2011):

You don't need to be a bad boy bro. Girls go for guys with nice personalitys, and guys the same intrest as they do. Yu just have to be your self and don't fake who you are for a girl to like you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (15 May 2011):

Honeypie agony auntBad boys are just that.. bad.

There is (for some women) a certain attraction to "bad boys", most women though outgrow that stupid phase. Yes, I think it's a phase with the whole "bad boy" thing.

From what you describe I cant' see why you can't meet and date a great girl.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2011):

Ok so most girls do love bad boys! But there's more to it then just being a badboy. We usualy want a guy that is a Badboy on the outside but a sweetguy on the inside. But the problem is be sweet but not to sweet cause then we get bored if its all ways to good. So keep a girl on her toes sometimes. Yeah we do like like to be protected and girls love the look of the badboy hard to get because it gives us something to dream and fantasise about most of the time. If your just sweet and to easy to get that's just boring. So u don't have to be a real badboy just act like it once in a while and u will see where it goes from there. Have fun w/it!!

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A female reader, bethevans United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2011):

bethevans agony auntHello there :)

aw, don't get yourself down about this, the only reason us girls like bad guys is because we like the chase. i don't know why, to be honest with you i really wish it wasn't this way; but that's how it is. although, we do prefer bad guys, we only prefer them for a short ammount of time until they cheat on us, mess us around and then move on, however if there was someone like you, who just showed a girl how nice he could be, then i'm sure she would be interested! you sound cute, you just need to stop looking and wait for the right girl to turn up, it always works best that way sweet, but go out more, get to know more people, and then soon, she will come right out of nowhere ! :} xx

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