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On and off with my boyfriend, but have frustrating feelings and desires for a woman? Help!

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Okay, I'm really confused at the moment as to what to do. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, although we've been on and off quite a lot. I love him to bits but recently we both decided to take a break from eachother, not break up so to speak, but just take some time apart. There's been different issues that have lead us to this time apart that I don't feel I need to go into as they're not really a big deal. He's the first and only relationship I've ever had. I got with him at the age of 19 and I'm now 22.

Before I met him, I had crushes on a few women. There's one woman in particular that I really fell for but she was in a relationship at the time. When I met my boyfriend, the time I've been with him I've only had eyes for him. As I've never been with a woman before, I have been curious from time to time, but would never act upon that curiosity as I was in love with this man.

After being on and off with him recently, I am starting to feel drawn back to this woman again. She is single now and I can't stop thinking of her. I'm feeling highly frustrated and unsure of what to do. I'm still very much in love with my boyfriend, but I can't stop fantasising about the woman. Sorry to put it blunt, but I feel like I really need to be intimate with her. I know this is not something that can be directly answered, but does anyone have any advice?

Do I tell her the way I feel? Do I tell my boyfriend the way I feel? Is it just sexual frustration of being bicurious perhaps and having never acted upon it? I'm so confused :s And part of me still wants to work things out with my boyfriend oh I just don't know what my mind's doing to me..

View related questions: a break, crush

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A female reader, Dear Mandy United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2011):

Dear Mandy agony auntHi

Many women get sexual fantasies about being with another women, especially if they are close to another women, i.e talk about everything together, go everywhere together, because you feel they really know you better than anyone, so you start to rely on them. But you sound like your a little more than curious about it, Is this other women you talk about straight? because if she is I fear if you tell her your only going to get hurt when she rejects you. I would take this time out as a good as time as any to get to know what you really want. If you are hiding your feelings because you fear people will dislike you if your gay, then you will only hurt yourself in the long run. you need to be YOU, and to work out who you are you need this space. There are many sites you can go on, for support if you think you may be gay/bi. like am I gay or confused.com But as I said in the begining many women go through this in life, and it turns out to be just that a fantasy!

I hope this has helped

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