New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login224050 questions, 973438 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Do women remember the size of their former lover's penis?

Tagged as: Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2007) 19 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, *C3236S writes:

I have been bombarded with penis enlargement emails lately. Something like 100+ a day. Hopefully I am not the only one. :) Obviously these are SPAM I know, however there are lots of products claiming to work for those less endowed. One of the common emails subject titles is something like...Your girlfriend remembers her past lovers size, how do you compare? Make her forget all about them with MegaDik. Whatever!! So it makes me think, do women remember the penis size of their past lovers? If I was asked about the size some of my ex's breasts were, or how tight they were, I would not be able to recall any of this. Is it different for a woman? For those older ladies, how about 15+ years ago, could you remember for a fact that one guy was bigger than the other thinking back on it today? I was just wondering if the hype and marketing ploys these herbal product manufacturers are using is really true sometimes or has any validity.

View related questions: breasts, her past, my ex, penis size

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2011):

I hear about women who discuss in amazing detail their ex-lovers techniques, size, etc to their current lovers or husbands. I find that practice unwise. Comparison to often leads to feelings of inadequacy on someones part. Most people have multiple partners over their life span, that's a given, but why discuss those histories with the current lover detail? I don't.

I recall but don't discuss a lover who had this amazing way of moving, stroking downward, with an odd upstroke which he did as part of his style sometimes... But so what? He did not love me, we did not endure. Sometimes I wish my current man could do that, but I'd never detail and dictate instructions for him to do this very specific technique. It is not his vibe, we both have physical limitations due to being older and I am sure an imitation would fall short and how would he feel with that? Compared ultimately...

My current lover is smaller than my previous lovers, but his penis is well proportioned and nice to feel inside or when I suck him. While I sometimes wish it were a bit bigger, I like our specific lovemaking. He is unlike any lover I've had and I've experienced his body more than others; for longer. Sometimes the other sexual experiences are an abstract compared to what I have before me know. Living in the now is where I prefer to be.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, Problem.helper United States +, writes (22 February 2010):

Problem.helper agony auntThis made me feel bad and good i don't care about previous boyfriends of my fututre girlfriend/wife but i have 10 inch penis and girl break up with me all the time and they never say why and i m afraid that it's this :(

btw if she tells you truly that u make her happy in every way don't worry it's not worth it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, alex74 United States +, writes (19 February 2010):

alex74 agony auntThe answer is yes. But, I have wondered this myself in general due to comments from my wife shortly after we started dating. She dumped a guy to go out with me while we were in college. To this day, I don't know why she ever made the following comments regarding her former Cuban lover: It took him a long time to ejaculate and he rarely, if ever, masturbated. He could bring her to orgasm in certain positions. They had sex in a hot tub. While visiting his family in Miami, they had very noisy sex which prompted his mother to remind her son to practice safe sex in Spanish, "Ponte tu sombrero!". He had a very large penis. His penis was uncircumcised and didn't smell very clean when she engaged in fellatio.

We have been happily married for almost 13 years with 2 kids, but these comments have exacerbated any insecurities that I have. I have an average penis and am exceedingly easy to please (3 minute man). My wife has intense orgasms with manual stimulation and she claims that she is very satisfied with our sex life. Any time we go for what I feel is an extended period without sex, I feel that this emphasizes my inadequacies, as in "Why doesn't she want to initiate sex with me?" Comments regarding the "stallion" before, eat at me every day despite any assurances she tries to give me. I guess when it comes to previous lovers, ignorance is bliss.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2009):

I been married 26 years and survived the stupid 70's with 5 lovers before I met my husband. Ladies...you might think me a middle-aged prude, but now while I never think about "them" physically..(it was usually dark, fast in a college dorm room so I never really examined them)..I have for years regretted my stupidity. My husband is a great man and I wish I had not acted out sexually with anyone..or like my hubby had only one or two partners I really cared for. I don't ever have to think of them...because my guy, has been a dedicated dad and a lover that introduced me into the joy of "love-making" versus the act of sex, that ALL young men will lie and conspire to achieve. Our daughter is 19 and has the head on her shoulders that I needed then...and is still a beautiful virgin.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, fungirl69 United States +, writes (20 May 2009):

fungirl69 agony auntI actually just posted about a past size issue. Basically, we don't remember all of them, but certain shapes and sized that hit us in the right spots are definitely remembered. It is actually an issue for me right now as my current fiancé cannot pleasure me like an old boyfriend's member did. It is something I have to deal with (and I will never ever tell my man...not into hurting his feelings over something he cannot control), but the really good size/shape ones are definitely remembered.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008):

Hey,

The biggest guy I have been with was 9 inchs and white dutch, oh yes it does make a difference it's not just motion in the ocean. The smallest was from Ghana and Black coming in at 5 inchs erect which proves sometimes stereotypes are not accurate well in this case anyway...

Sam

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2008):

BigSis agony auntI do, especially now!!

Which means ~ I'm more than happy to forget my former lover's penii now. {Say no more}

: )

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, BigSis United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2008):

BigSis agony auntI do, especially now!!

But I'm more than happy to forget my former lover's penii now. {Say no more}

: )

: )

: )

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008):

Im a 29 yrs old japanese female and have been happily married for almost two years. To be truley honest although i really do not like to admit it, is yes i do remember my past 5 other partners. I remember the first guy was black and had about an 8 inch penis the reason i remember it was my first time and i held it and measure it because i was terrified and it hurt. My next three partners were asian and about 3-5 inches. My last partner was a complete loser but he was almost 7 inches long but it was thicker. But im here to say that i dont drool on it when my hubby and i make love but i do remember and my hubby is only 5.4 inches long and fairly thick but its about the guy you are with not the sice of the penis. But ladies on theing i do regret is having pemarital sex because i felt so guilty when i found out my hubby was a virgin because he is very religoius their are days when i feel like a slut but remember you want to share the first expirience with your true love.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008):

I remember past lover's penis sizes. One guy that I was engaged to, had a penis that started out wider at the bottom and kept narrowing all the way to the end. It also curved up towards his stomach. The sex wasn't really that good. Another guy that I was in love with, I dumped after we had sex. He was very tall and thin and unfortunately so was his penis. A true pencil dick. The guy I've been with for 28 years is 6 1/2 inches and thick. After all those years he still makes my heart race with passion. He knows what he has and how to use it which is the important thing. So to me, not only do I remember, but I think size is important.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, KC3236S United States +, writes (3 October 2007):

KC3236S is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Wow thanks for the responses. I did not ask this question due to an insecurity, maybe it sounded that way. I am very fortunate down there. However even being the case no guy wants to hear or think that someone was bigger or better. This is the male ego at work. In a previous post I mentioned that one of my wifes past lovers is now involved in my life. Our kids play football together and I see him almost daily. Sure when I see the guy things don't feel quite right, and I have looked him over wondering what he offered her back them (granted he was 17 at the time, so probably not much). Mostly these SPAM enlargement emails just got me thinking that after being together for 18 years could a woman remember details of being with someone that far back? She was 19 when we met, and all of her past partners (5 total) were a teenage hook-up after a party, or some guy that said the LOVE YOU word to get sex, then dumped her the next day. This part hurts me more than thinking what they did to her sexually. In every case alcohol was involved usually to the point of being very drunk she said. It was brought up that a guy should/could remember a past lovers breasts, etc. I think we are talking about apples and oranges here. A girls breasts have nothing to do with the feelings associated with sex. In other words breast size is not a make or break issue for great sex. If a girl is going to remember a past partner, it would be based around the actual intercourse experience or feeling, not a visual thing. For example, did it hurt like heck, or on the other side, could she not feel it at all. In these cases yes a woman would remember that "JOHN" was larger than her previous or future lovers, or smaller than she was used to. I agree with the anonymous comment, I doubt seriously that any married woman sits around and thinks about someones elses penis after being apart from them for 18 years and in love with someone else all these years. But then again I am not a woman so I can not say for sure. If you are lets say 20, and have been sexually active for lets say 5 years, sure I can see a young girl like this remembering details. Back when I was young I feel that being endowed actually made me a worse lover in most cases. I knew I was large and I new it was going to hurt most young girls. If they did not act like it hurt during sex then I did it harder. It was almost like I got off on making it hurt. After being married and in love all these years, my goal is to instead be careful, take it slow and make her feel like each time is better than the time before. Even if I had a small penis, having this attitude as a guy makes alot of difference.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

My wife remembers the size of her past partners that were unusually large or small. That is from 30 years ago. One was between 7 and 8 inches and fairly thick. She remembers that it hurt some of the time and he never could get it in the whole way. Another was short, at about 4-1/2 inches, she thinks. He used a lot of positions and it took a long time for him to have an orgasm. The rest were average (probably 5 to 6 inches) and she remembers little about their size. She much better remembers what they were like as lovers. Most just screwed her, only a few made love to her.

I don't know how long mine was when I met her, but we couldn't do doggy and I couldn't push it in hard, as it hurt her. I thought I was just a bad lover, as others had done that. I never measured mine until I was in my 50s and it was 6-1/4 or a little longer. I could still hurt her. Now I am older and typically 5-3/4 or 6 inches and she loves it. We can do doggy fine and she likes me to occasionally be rough with her. I can still hurt her just the tiniest bit (hurts so good feeling). She wishes mine were a bit thicker, but the length is now perfect. She also thinks that I am the best lover that she ever had and I believe her since I don't think that she has ever lied to me.

I am giving so much detail to help to show that even though she might remember some guys that were bigger than you that she might not have liked the big ones. Here is a discussion of females that shows that many do not like big penises and have trouble enjoying them. Most of them agree with my wife's feelings, that your tenderness and love making skills are far more important than your size.

Here is the web site with the discussion of what women think of size. It seems like honest opinions. I hope I am permitted to post this site, because I think that the opinions are very helpful.

http://www.altpenis.com/penis_news/women_penis_size.shtml

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007):

She might remember but that doesnt mean she's sitting around thinking "oh, bobs penis was much bigger than my husbands, I miss it" blah blah blah.. if she didn't like your penis and the things you do with it, she wouldn't have married you (or stuck around for 18 years)...

If someone asks Im sure she can say whether so and sos penis is bigger than someone elses but it's not something most people I know ever dwell on in their free time.

You remember the way other women looked I am sure, but do you hold it against your wife?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Sassister United States +, writes (1 October 2007):

I remember the size, but more importantly I remember what they did to me. I've had men with average and smaller than average penises who were fantastic lovers while I've had a couple of lovers with huge penises who thought they were God's gift to women and were totally lazy in their habits. Give me a guy with a smaller penis who is totally passionate and totally engaged and I'll take him over any guy who is well hung but superficial every time.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2007):

Yes, of course we do. That's like asking men if they remember physical attributes of thier past girls, like the size of their breasts. I can pretty much remember all of my past lovers sizes, and I had 21. But if they aren't big, but good in bed that's more important.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, KC3236S United States +, writes (30 September 2007):

KC3236S is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Interesting. I only ask the 15+ years thing as my wife and I have been together for 18 years total. Was wondering if after that long things become a blur... :)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007):

Yes I do, you can't help but comapare them in your mind, which one was bigger or smaller. It's bad but I know my freinds do it as well.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007):

I remember the ones who were significantly sized yes. But if the penis was a nice size not necessarrily huge but we had great sex, that stands out in our minds too.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2007):

:-D i would remember if they were bigger or smaller but never the exact size (and i haven't had many nor has the interval ever been 15 years!)

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

New answers are blocked to this question

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.046875!