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age
30-35,
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writes: How much do guys in a relationship want to have sex with other females?I'm curious. I don't ever get the urge to have sex with some other guy. I wonder if it's the same for men? Today I was telling my boyfriend how weird it'd be for me if he was bi (nothing against bi/gay people by the way), just because I wouldn't like to share him with another guy, nor would I like to have threesomes with other guys. He on the other hand, told me he woldn't mind if I were bi and had a seperate girlfriend, that it'd only be a problem if I spent too much time with her. But he says it'd be fun and wouldn't bother him. He said we could have threesomes. This was kind of funny, he did say so in kind of a joking tone as we were joking we the whole issue and had a laugh. But it raised a doubt...Do men in relationships want to have sex with other partners often? I can't really ask him too much how he feels about this, because he'll assume I'm asking because I want to sleep with other guys. He's like that, so I rather not ask. I don't wanna sleep with other guys, but he won't believe me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): my husband doesn't care if I was with a woman. As long as I loved him like I do. I have never been with a woman but he's fine with it. Which is good if I ever decide that the chick at the bar is hot and I want to go home with her LOLseriously though.He might not care about you being with a woman because she is not a "threat"as far as everything else I agree. Your creating conflict where there was none.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): As a male, I wouldn't say we want to have sex with other women if we're in a relationship, but we'll definitely notice if there's something sexy about another woman, and sometimes might even fantasize about having sex with another woman. I'm happy in my relationship and wouldn't cheat on my girlfriend (unless the occasional fantasy is considered cheating). I don't feel the NEED to have sex with other women, although it's a fantasy sometimes, I don't need to sleep with other women to be happy. My girlfriend kissed one of her female friends and it was a turn on for me, and the FANTASY of a threesome is a turn-on but I doubt in reality it would be that great.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 I may be wrong, of course, but I think I see something here.
You came up with those difficult comments women make. Those questions you don't really know how to answer, because, whatever you do, you will end up having trouble. Something like "Do I look fat on this dress?"
If I read him correctly, he found your comment very odd. If he's any smart, he's learned to take women's apparently harmless comments very seriously. Why in the world would you suspect him of being bisexual? So, he played it cool and took it to joke. That's it.
I will answer your question, but I want you to take notice that my answer is in no way related to what I think is going on with your boyfriend.
As to whether men want to have sex with other women even if they are in relationships, the answer is a no and then a yes.
When you're truly in love, you still have eyes and you notice those firm, big, supple breasts on show over there. Yet you don't really care about them. You wouldn't sleep with someone else because you're happy with your girl.
On the other hand, as time goes by, you do get to notice other women, to be attracted to them, and perhaps to even want to sleep with them. To say otherwise would be to lie. That doesn't mean every man sleeps around. Some do, of course. Some women do, too. The fact that you're in a relationship doesn't mean you stop wishing for variety in sex.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 One other thing I want to clarify in my answer. There is a HUGE difference between fantasy and action/intention. Make sure you keep that in mind. Just because a guy fantasizes about Jessica Alba doesn't mean he doesn't love you or would actually physically with intent cheat on you with her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTisha, I wasn't. True I brought up the topic, only because we had been talking about a gay friend of my sister who happnes to be with a bi boy. Then I thought it'd be weird if my boyfriend was bi, and commented, in a joking way. Then we talked about me being bi, and he said that. I wasn't asking for trouble, and I'm not holding it against him. I just want to know if he'd like to have sex with other women, to see what we can do, in order for him to be happy. There must be something I can do to make him happy in this aspect. I'd hate if he became frustrated in the relationship. I didn't get angry at hin either - we just laughed it off.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (30 July 2008):
It sounds to me that you are trying to create a problem or a conflict with your boyfriend where none had existed before. You were the one who brought the topic up and maybe did it for some confidence-boosting? And it sounds like he had a bit of fun telling you his fantasies and now you're holding these against him?
You were the one who raised the doubt.
Just drop the subject, is my advice. You are just going to drive yourself crazy and get all ticked off at him for not lathering you up with schmoozy "you're the only woman I will ever look at or be attracted to in my entire life!"
You brought up the topic and asked him a direct question, so maybe he thought he was safe telling you.
Obviously, he was wrong. Cut him a break and I also suggest you work on your own self-esteem. Why are you borrowing trouble?
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male
reader, Jamer70  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 From what youve told me his comments about you being Bi are a common male fantasy. Though i probably wouldnt like it if i truely loved a woman, me and my friends have always said that we wouldnt mind if our girl had a girl on the side, shed just have to share. Its a joke/fantasy for some males, doesnt mean he wants to have sex with diffent women. Anyone that says all men want to have sex with other woman is wrong and has their own issues, some men cheat fact, some men wouldnt think of touching another soul if they have their love in front of them
and alot of the older married uncle will agree with me on this
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): The vast majority of guys would blow up at the thought of you wanting another guy. And they would probably be pretty hurt at the thought of you being emotionally & romantically involved with a girl at the same time as them too.
Some guys do get off on the idea of their GF with some other guy, but this fantasy can cause more messes than it helps things. The main guy often finds he doesn't like the idea of this having happened anymore once the sex is over and everyone has calmed down.
But the idea of their GF with another girl in a MFF threesome with him, just wild sex, doesn't seem to cause the same posessive & jealous anger in men as the other things. It does cause total havoc with some guys but not as many as the other things do. Somehow their GF getting it on with a girl is less threatening than with another guy.
As for guys, every one is different but we're not unlike women. A lot of women would be perfectly able and willing to have sex with multiple men while only calling one of them a real committed relationship, too. But for either gender doing this, it's just not usually tolerated by the other partner in the committed relationship for obvious reasons.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): "Do men in relationships want to have sex with other partners often?"
Yes. Here's an article on it:
http://www.reuniting.info/science/coolidge_effect
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Sister Sue, in my personal experience, a man that truly loves you, would never want to see you in a intimate predicament with anyone else. You need to strongly examine your relationship, and decide if you want a man to disrespect you like that. You deserve a man that wants you to himself, and none other. Please know that I will pray for you, and your misguided boyfriend.
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