A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I have this friend I met about a year and a half ago. We're not very close, but we do talk and she invited me to her bachelorette party. The plan was to rent a house for the weekend along the beach and have a girl's weekend. I figured it would not be very expensive since I was working at the time, so I said yes. This was back in late Jan.So the party is in June and I was sent details of the house and how much it was going to cost everyone. The house they rented turned out to be $895 for the weekend, split between 10 people, but not everyone is staying for the whole time so it may be more expensive than just 90 a person. In addition, they're renting out a lot of sports things to do and going out to restaurants, so slap a few more hundred dollars on that.I was expecting an extension at my work (I am a student doing workstudy who works until a set date but my boss was told I could get an extension which was a yes until now) but was just told the other day that my new contract starts again in July and until then, I am out of work and do not have the money to spend to go to her party. Immediately following her party, my boyfriend and I had plans to go visit California (I am from there) and we had been saving money for that too; but now that I have no income until July, I really need to conserve. My bf will be paying for the vacation in Cali but I cannot bring myself to ask for money for the bachelorette. I am not sure if I should try to speak to her about it, as she is known to be very butthurt about cancellations, or if I should try to just suck up and ask my bf about it. We are usually very financially stable as he makes a lot (above 85k) but we have had to pay for unexpected events this year, such as hospital bills, apartment hassles/electricity spiking, etc. His student loans are literally cancer (above 1k a month) and he is already pay for our rent. I pay for my own bills (as I should be) so the money that I have saved up from working is put towards that. I do not even really know what to tell her because the last time someone cancelled on her, she made such a big deal out of it.I am not sure what to do. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 May 2016):
 I agree cover your share of what the house will cost, as it has been booked, and then apologize, explain about work and what happened. It would not be fair on your boyfriend to pay for the whole weekend away. You have a holiday the following week that is costing him already. I would suggest you start looking for some work at the moment while you are idle.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 May 2016):
 Perhaps you'll be butthurt too if you happen to organize some event or vacation for June and people cancel on you mid-May. Not that it is all your fault, s..t happens, people get sacked ,etc., but you can't expect that the party girl is enthusiastic about cancellations. Nor the other participants who see all of a sudden their share of costs grow up .
Although if you want to go with Tisha-1 's plan, her wording is perfect,...it depends IMO from how broke you are. If you'd have to touch your bf for a loan even for just the 90 or 90 plus dollars of the rental ( you can't get away from paying those, I mean, you COULD , but- ugh ! no, the decent way is to pay )- at this point, might as well to be hung for a sheep as for a lamb, - explain him the situation and I think that he'll be glad to help out ( although I agree that, obviously, helping you out of this fix is not his DUTY ). If you can easily pay the 90 bucks out of your own savings, do that , offer graciously your apologies and give a miss to the revelries.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 May 2016):
 If you’re “not very close” and yet you wound up in the cut of the 10 people invited along to the bachelorette party then she might think you are closer friends than you think you are.
Your boyfriend should not be on the hook for your part of any bachelorette plans; this has nothing to do with him. Unless he’s part of the groom’s group? You didn’t mention that so I’m assuming he’s not.
I’m assuming that someone is acting as the planner for the bachelorette weekend? The maid of honor?
I would just be very frank about your situation. “Chloe, first of all please do extend my congratulations again to Xena on her upcoming wedding.
“I’m so sad and upset that my financial situation has changed since January, to the extent that I won’t be able to afford to do the house rental and all the fun events.
“It breaks my heart not to be able to join in all the festivities. I’ve sent along a check for 89.50 to cover my portion of the house rental for the weekend.
“I hope you all have a wonderful time and please know that I wish Xena all the happiness in the world!”
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