A
male
age
36-40,
*g15331
writes:there’s this girl that I really like. we’ve been friends for 5 years. we worked together and I have always had a little thing for her but I was married at the time and never would have cheated. I think she felt the same way we always were very flirty with each other and she use to say things like “to bad your married.” we would go out for drinks, breakfast, go to work parties together(we worked at the same place and my wife never wanted to go) we kissed once at the Christmas party but right after it happened we both got a hold of our self’s(kinda drunk). I moved to another state for my wife’s job but my wife decided she didn’t love me anymore and I got divorced at the beginning of this year. I moved back home and I feel ready to date again. Now the girl I like is with someone else and its kinda serious(she didn’t get together with him till after I moved away) but we are still very flirty when we are together and we still do things just her and I. I think she knows I want to be more than friends but I don’t know for sure. do I risk wrecking our friendship by just telling her or do I wait to see if the relationship she’s in works out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): I would wait. Don't tell her how you feel but send the signals. If she doesn't reciprocate or leave her partner or talk to you about the situation then move on. You don't want to waste your time waiting for her when you could be with someone else.
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