A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:ok so feel a bit strange about doing this but really need some advice. I'm 31, pretty normal guy. Have had a very normal relationship history up to now - few happy long term relationships, few shorter term things. My issue is with my current girlfriend of 6 months. It was all going fine until about 2 months ago when I (stupidly and crazily) happened to read one of her emails to a friend (she shares my computer). Up to that point it had all been going fine - she had been a bit cooler than i'm used to (as in didn't seem that into me) but in a way i liked that as my last gfriend had been seriously full on. But reading the email shocked me a bit - basically was saying a lot about her ex, to the tune of ''I really miss him...' etc etc. Now fine this isn't too bad BUT the issue is up to this point she had told me she completely hated him as he was basically a complete idiot to her...emotionally bullied her, cheated on her, dumped her etc....now the issue is that given this i started to get a bit of a complex that she wasn't over him remotely. what makes it worse is that in the email it was all 'my new boyf is really nice but i miss my ex loads'...with emphasis on the word nice. the impression she gives me verbally of her ex is some bad boy confident guy who treated her badly but had a strong hold on her. I feel like i'm the nice rebound guy who basically is there to provide a shoulder to cry on but not much else. On top of this the sex life is just not working anymore - she is just not interested and has literally never even given the impression she enjoys anything i do - in fact she criticises the way i touch her in almost a mocking way sometimes. i can't help but think this is because she had a better connection with the previous guy as almost every other girl i've been with has always been really into it. she says she loves me but i basically don't feel it - i can't bear to feel the 'nice guy' who does nothing for her in a passion sense but is just there to support. literally my confidence is plummeting - I used to be a very confident guy but she makes me feel useless - like i'm not what she wants. my question is - do i keep going or give up as she will never get over her ex?
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bullied, confidence, her ex, miss my ex, my ex, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, over1thing  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 i may be 14-15 but i had the same thing happen to me. i thing the right thing to do is to let her go on and keep it up for 3 weeks. if she doesn't stop, then i guess, break up.
A
female
reader, Rawrsie +, writes (16 October 2011):
 You should definitely give up. It sounds like she's just using you for "insurance". It's like this. She'll try to work things out with her ex. When she finally realizes that it doesn't work, she'll start to become more "girl friendish" to you.She basically sounds torn between you and him. Don't love someone if their having a HARD decision picking out who they want as their boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 She does not sound like a very nice person to me. No one deserves to be spoken to the way she is speaking to you so I wouldn't waste any more time on her if I were you. You deserve better!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2011): TBh? I would get out of there. SOunds like classic rebound to me... sorry.. Plus, she makes you feel bad. SO get out.
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