A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:so my problem is this i have met a guy on a dating site we had one date he said he liked me but hes not ready for a relationship yet so we agreed to be friends (we both came off the dating site) we have met up as friends and its like we have known each other a long time, he knows how much i like him and he has told me he likes me too and by xmas he hopes to be ready to be in a relationship but he didnt say with me or not we text all the time and theres been alot of flirty texts as well as things we both want in life, the same things. i dont want to be direct to him or come across as demanding to know where i stand but does it sound like i could be the one he wants to be with ? hes never said about finding other women to be with as tho im going to be given a chance . no having a go please i just want a simple reply from an outsiders view
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2014): he has started to flirt a lot in texts and he even said he doesnt text friends like that just girlfiends im wondering if hes starting to let his feelings out more because it feels right for him , he said only special women could have him so i said thats me out then and he said no and that im special it makes me wonder if hes more ready than he thinks he is
A
female
reader, Melanie0517  +, writes (3 November 2014):
I'd start dating again, honestly. If comes Christmas and he's ready for a relationship with you and you're still single, then go from there. No need to put your life on hold for 2 months for a "maybe." Or you could ask him if he meant ready to date you, or just someone, come December.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2014): He's set himself xmas as the time he wants to be ready as a goal for himself he's a large guy and has managed to lose a lot of weight he lacks confidence and is very shy , I know everything he's said is true as I've seen proof
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A
female
reader, jls022 +, writes (2 November 2014):
Why is he saying he's not ready for a relationship? To be honest, I think he's stringing you along while he sees what else is out there. It's not believable to me that he could say he expects to be ready by Christmas. What's going to have changed by then?
If I were you I'd stop contacting him and start looking for someone else. If he's been in regular contact for a while and still isn't sure, then I can't see him changing his mind.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (2 November 2014):
 In my own personal experience of a situation very similar to this... I'm afraid to say I fear you have been put in the friend zone.
When he says he isn't ready for a relationship, it generally means he isn't ready for a relationship with YOU.
The fact he is all pally and constantly in contact could just mean he likes the company/attention. If/when a woman comes along who he really falls for, you will be sidelined.
I may be reading it wrong. Don't put your hopes on this man, tread cautiously.
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