A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i met a man online and he's 3 years younger at 25 now 28 and doing very well for himself. We have been together 2.5 years now and have been there to listen and comfort each other when life threw setbacks at us despite us being more than 2000 miles apart! I'm not sure if i should stay with him even though he says he loves me and wants to get engaged. He once caught me with a dating profile while i was dating him and got very upset and demanded I take it down so I took it down and felt bad about it. But now I found that he has dating profiles that he did not tell me about that he started when we were together (i broke things off with him because of his emotional reactions and he wants to get back together) I'm unsure if I should confront him about it or just stop talking to him altogether and date others. I don't understand though why he would make me take my profile down and he would keep his a secret and lie to me about how he knew I had a profile (he said his friend saw my profile) but now I know it was him. I don't understand why he lied about having a profile and then being upset at me and making me feel bad and have me take down my profile? He even said he thought he could forgive me for it which now sounds very hypocritical. Advise please.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 June 2015):
 You two have been dating 2 1/2 years and there is no plan for either of you to move closer to each other? No plan to make this LDR a NON-LDR?
If not, I wouldn't MAKE those plans. He is STILL looking for something (hence the dating profiles) and it isn't you. YOU were still looking for someone, and it wasn't him (hence YOUR dating profile) Promising to propose is easy enough, but WHAT would the point BE in being engaged when you LIVE 2,000 miles apart?
One thing though I like to point out, ISSUES in a LD relationship gets somehow magnified when you can't really talk them through in person. He might have made the profile to make you feel what he felt, or he was curious and simply forgot to delete it.
I see a double standard from BOTH sides. You got CAUGHT being on a dating site, you took it down and felt upset (not sure if it was for getting caught or because you hurt his feelings)- NOW he has done the SAME to you. So why haven't YOU confronted him?
I think you are a point where you want something OTHER than a LDR, so you are looking for a way out or you are not as happy with him as you were a while back.
Don't pull a passive-aggressive move and "just stop talking to him". TALK to him. Even if you don't want to continue the relationship.
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