A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i am in a relationship with a 29 year old man (i am 41). we've had a very good relationship in and out of the bedroom thus far. however i found out recently that he has been masturbating to old nude photos of a very recent ex-girlfriend. what the kicker part is that he "says" that it is because she tortured him in their 3 year relationship and wasn't very nice to him and feels like he is abusing her or getting back at her to do this to her picture. like a release of anger. sometimes he would just go look at the photos too....is this an actual condition or just a horny guy? thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): Everybody gets there thrills somehow, but for me personally that type of behaviour is freaky, you have to look at how this effects you and how you feel about it, if I am involved with someone I want to be the one he is thinking about should he be masturbating. I think you should get the hell out of dodge this guy obviously has serious issues that he needs to deal with and at your age do you honestly want to be bothered with weird crap like that.
A
male
reader, Moviefan +, writes (24 January 2008):
 If its a nude pick make him git rid of it and give him another chance. But if he wont get rid of them then leave him thats the closest thing to cheating without actual contact.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): You don't really believe this excuse, do you? Are you that niave? I would expect this question of a 16 year old, not an adult! The facts are he says that he is abusing her by masturbating to her picture and that's bullshit because the only person he is hurting by doing that is YOU. As for her, how is dwelling on her and being so attracted to her that he jerks off to her photos an abusive thing? For her it is like a compliment. For you it is like abuse. And the only reason he is masturbating to her pic. is because he is very turned on by her and is probably kind of obsessed with her. Because I am sure you would love it if he paid that much attention to you and your picure. So his perception of reality is really skewed.
You are obviously dealing with a guy who is still in love with his ex. I don't know what you want out of this relationship but it doesn't sound very good in your favor. Gte out while you have a little dignity left.
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (24 January 2008):
 I wouldn't like it if he was masturbating to a nude pic of his ex. Sounds like he still has a thing for her or is still sexually attracted to her. You should tell him to masturbate to pics of you.
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A
female
reader, lynnb84  +, writes (24 January 2008):
get rid of him. His excuse is pathetic. your better off out of that one.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 An old photograph of his ex, with clothes on, is just an old memory and probably should be tolerated.
BUT a NUDE photo of his ex should have been thrown out the moment their relationship died. It's not healthy for him, and I can't imagine that his ex would be happy if she knew he'd hung on to them. The fact that he is masturbating over them is not a great sign that he is over her. I think that I would insist that he get rid of them. It is very hurtful towards you, and it can't be putting his head in a good place either. Put your foot down and tell him to throw them away - and then watch him do it - someplace where they are irretrievable. Take care.
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A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (24 January 2008):
 I agree with the previous post. He is not over this woman and is making up lame ass excuses to get away with it. That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever read. "Getting back at her..." What is that saying that sex with him is that bad??? I mean that is ridiculous... I would leave him with his pic and be about my way...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): Well I don't know about it being a "condition" and he probably is a horny guy (I don't know any guy who isn't) but it definitely is a very clear sign that he is absolutely not over his ex and is still dwelling on her.
I'll be honest, I have never heard of a guy masturbating over pics of an ex, I guess it just never occurred to me that my bf or ex would think of me when he masturbates. But I am sure it is alot more common than I thought.
And he says that he is abusing her by masturbating to her picture? That's bullshit cause the only person he is hurting by doing that is YOU. As for her, how is dwelling on her and being so attracted to her an abusive thing? For her it is like a compliment. For you it is like abuse. And the only reason he is masturbating to her pic is because he is very turned on by her and is probably kind of obsessed with her. Cause I am sure you would love it if he paid that much attention to you and your pic. So his perception of reality is really skewed.
You are obviously dealing with a guy who is still inlove with his ex. I don't know what you want out of this relationship but it doesn't sound very good in your favor.
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