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Did my boyfriend secretly record us having sex and show it to his mates?

Tagged as: Cheating, Friends, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 July 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 July 2008)
A age 22-25, anonymous writes:

my boyfriends made me VERY VERY paranoid, weve been together for 7 months, and been having sex for 3 months. we have always been safe and i am on the pill. have been since i started my periods, but he joked about three weeks ago about recording us having sex. i was like no are you crazy? and he basicly aksed me if he could record us, but i said no n he said ok. we actually ended up having sex that night and then 4 days later we were out with a few of his friends and they started laughing at me, it got me VERY paranoid, which isnt hard at the best of times.

then one of them started making noises, you know the sort of noises i mean? and i said to my boyfriend, you better not have done? he smiled and said i ant done anything babe. so i was really confused, very paranoid and pretty embarrassed. we went back to his that night and he put his hands up my top as if to say sex? n i pushed him away from me! and i asked him what his mates were acting like that for, he was like theyre just windin you up babe dont worry about it.

its realy wound me up and im really worried. i havnt done ANYTHING with him since, do you think he secretly recorded us having sex and showed his friendS? or are they JUST winidn me up. its so embarrasing. im only 16 i dont want to be known as the towns slag, or anything like that. hes 20 so him and his mates are weirdos that get exited about this sort of thing. (no offence)

View related questions: period, the pill

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A male reader, Yos Netherlands +, writes (26 July 2008):

Yos agony auntGuys like to tease each other, when you're the only girl with a bunch of guys they'll treat you like just another guy. Which can be fun, but expect to have the piss taken out of you a lot in that situation. It's just the way guys are to each other, and it's not meant be mean, but rather funny (now girls can be really mean!).

Having said that, it does sound like you should be a little cautious with this guy. It sounds like at the least he talked about this with his mates, and that's a breach of your privacy. See how things go: make sure he treats you with respect and defends you if his friends go too far in their joking around.

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A male reader, xoen United States +, writes (26 July 2008):

xoen agony auntDear Anonymous,

As guy I can personally say that just about every guy friend of mine does this. I have even had one start talking and sounding like a woman during sex while I was on the phone with my mother. So in my personal opinion I would say do not worry. Guys' friends are ALWAYS like this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008):

You need to talk to him about it and tell him that you feel paranoid. His response that you mention doesn't make it sound like he's taking you seriously. And if you really want, you could try asking one of his friends. It sounds to me though that his mates sound like tools and I personally would not go out with a guy who wants to film me during sex, but that's just personal, I think of sex that is something intimate and to be shared with only the two people in a relationship, which I'm guessing you probably believe too. If he has filmed you definitely dump him, but if he hasn't, I'd watch out, a guy should stick up for you when he knows his mates are trying to stir you.

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