A
male
age
36-40,
*isheartened
writes:Hello all, I'm in need of a little insight on this. There is a lot of details to explain, so this might get a little long. First the details of her past. She's going through/has been through a tough time with a break up. She was in love with the guy but things just didn't work out. He's been a complete butt to her, giving mixed emtions. One day he'll be awesome to her, the next they were fighting. She says she's done with him but I know she isn't over him yet. (btw this guy is my cousin) Anyway, I've been texting/talking to/hanging out with this girl for about 3 months now. I've been nothing but a friend to her, and never thought about dating her nor made a move. I've been there to listen to her problems and comfort her in whatever way I could. Sometimes staying on the phone with her till 2am. We've texted each other daily for almost the entire time we've known each other. I'd flirt with her, she'd flirt with me. All the signals were there that she liked me, but I didn't think about her that way at first. I meet a mutual friend (her best friend) for lunch one week and she told me that this girl had thought of dating me, but I didn't dig any deeper. Over the past few weeks, I've got to hang out with her more and have started liking her as more than a friend. But I'm lost as to what to do, during the same time that I've noticed that I do like her, she has become kinda distant to me(she did just start a new job). She hasn't texted me as much and when we've talked on the phone, I get the vibe that something is bothering her but she won't open up to me...which makes no sense because she always has in the past. I know that the timing is wrong for me to try and go further with our relationship because of all the drama she's been through. But I'm lost as to what to actually do. She's an awesome person, and a great friend and I don't want to lose that. Should I back off and give her some space to work through whatever is bothering her? I don't know what to do....any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (2 October 2010):
 Have you actually asked her if something was wrong and if you could help? If she says no, then it is best to give her space. I think she might be thinking things over, mulling a decision over in her head and she needs some time and space. Just be there as a friend for her now and when the time is right, tell her how you feel.
You are probably wondering "When do I do that?" Well, you'll know it. She will be happy and so will you. You will be talking to each other and having fun and then, when the perfect moment strikes, you tell her because, if you really do like her that much, it is best that she knows.
I hope that helps.
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