A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ending a 3+ year relationship with a man who you truly loved and thought would spend the rest of your days with (he said he felt the same way about me throughout), he's in a new relationship after 3 months of the breakup. It hurts knowing he could move on so quickly. Did he ever really love me seeing as he could go into a new relationship so quickly? Did he not need time to heal? Hell, after 6 months of the breakup, I am not healed but healing.I thought he was sincere, loving, true and real but after the relationship ended, his actions proved to be different. Nothing like how I expected - he used me for a couple of months following the breakup saying he "needed" the contact with me (which ended up being daily) and I allowed it because I loved him and wanted to ease the pain he said he felt because I ended the relationship. I know, stupid me, not doing what I needed for me which was no contact, to get over letting someone I loved -go.Is this behaviour normal? I'm not like that myself. I find that I need time to heal, to be me -alone for awhile before dating others, let alone getting into another relationship.What am I to think of this man that I loved? It's skewed now, my thoughts about him. People say he's insecure, needy and he needs to be in a relationship to feel complete. Could this be?
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male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 Not knowing a lot about your previous relationship, I am willing to bet that if it lasted 3 years, your previous boyfriend -- on some level -- did in fact love you.
While this doesn't make it any easier on you, the quickest way to get over the hurt of a previous is relationship is often times to throw yourself into a new one. Whether your boyfriend has found "true-love" now remains to be seen, but let's face it, he's made his choice.
Each person recovers from love on their own terms and time. When you are ready again, you'll find someone who you can connect with. While this man will probably always hold a special place in your heart, you'll eventually be able to heal and find someone who will be there 100% for you.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (14 July 2011):
i don't think he will of moved on that quickly because he didnt care about or love you it will probably be a rebound relationship that won't last they never do they say the average time that a man moves on after a relationship is 5 weeks i just think men heal quicker than women they don,t tend to get so upset about it or if they do they go meet someone to prove they don't mope about after a relationship ends
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2011): I don't think that he moved on so quickly because he didn't care about you. I don't think he toyed with you after the break up because he didn't care about you.
I think he probably did these things because that's how he copes with break-ups. Everyone is different in the way they handle this kind of thing. You and he just have very different styles.
I wouldn't invest too much time into worrying or thinking about this.
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