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We did everything but have sex...and now he says he doesn't have sexual feelings for me.

Tagged as: Friends, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 December 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 December 2007)
A female , *ittle girl x writes:

Saturday night, my best friend stayed over at my house because my parents were away.

He has been probably the nicest boy to me in the world, and cares about me so much.

Before the summer we liked eachother, but then summer split us up and he hooked up with a girl in my class, (coicendence) and we remained close as friends but nothing more. She knew i liked him, and still did it, but thats a different story. However i secretly really liked him, and now in December on saturday stuff happened between us.

We didnt have sex, but we did everything else, and were very close too but didnt.

We have been fighting because he knows i like him.

But he said he loves me as a friend, and doesnt have sexual feelings for me. I went mad saying then he shouldnt have done sexual things with me.

He thinks i hate him because he doesnt like me, and although it upsets me, i dont!

I dont no how to move on from this situation, and today he went on holiday for 2 weeks! I'm beside myself!

View related questions: best friend, move on, on holiday

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A male reader, Richard_EMids United Kingdom +, writes (19 December 2007):

Richard_EMids agony auntHi. I've just answered a question like this a couple of days ago, but with the genders reversed - the girl has written in about her boy mate. The link is below. It was on 17 December. You have just got your wires crossed that's all. You were expecting more and he wasn't.

Send him a text or card in a few days time.

Good luck

Richard

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-friend-nearly-made-out-with-me-until.html

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007):

He does things to you because you let him. But he doesn't want to stick with you because he probably thinks you have self-esteem issues (even though I know you don't).

Just don't flatter him with your good intentions. Just treat him as a person you shove on the side. Also, the girl he's with has no respect for herself so don't expect that she'd respect you.

Use your attraction to your advantage. Make him feel as though he's (again) welcome to do sexual stuff to you but when it arises, treat him like a dick that he is. He doesn't deserve you. He deserve someone way less than you.

Move on. Don't be too nice. Because you will look at this in the future and laugh at this (and laugh at him too). You're too pretty and genuine for this

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A female reader, leanne.od United Kingdom +, writes (19 December 2007):

leanne.od agony auntoh dear. more often than not, if a girl offers something on a plate, then a guy will take it because at that moment in time they feel sexually aroused, but it might not be you that arouses him. i don't mean to sound nasty, but if he says he is not sexually attracted to you, maybe he is just trying to let you down gently. he is now embarrassed more than anything, and probably thinks he has ruined your friendship, you need to explain that there are no ard feelings and then try and move on, as difficult as it will be, you obviously can't be friends with him as you have feelings for him.

if he liked you, he wouldn't have got with a girl in your class. maybe he was trying to give you a suttle hint that he isn't interested in that way.

best of luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007):

hi. i feel so much for you. i am in a similar situation. dose he actually listen to your words and not just your voice.

My friend is 55, me 42 and we get on so well. we believe we are soulmates. do you think that this would be the answer.

fighting is confusion. if he doesnt want to fall in love, i would leave it a while. stay as friends and see what develops. do you love him deeper than a friend would!!!

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