A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI am 21years old and I am currently dating a 33 year old man.I know that is a big age difference but age is nothing but a number right?We have been dating for almost two months and I really like him. I have never met a man like him before. He is a perfect gentleman. I know it has only been two months but he is very hard to read. I never know what he is thinking. Although he takes me out, treats me with respect etc...I still dont feel like he likes me and sometimes I think I am just a fling. He is not affectionate at all. Never says things like I miss you or anything romantic. I asked him why and he said thats just the way he is. Am I being paronoid?He plans to leave the UK to permantly live in another country in about 1 years time.Therefore we will most likely never end up in a relationship. So am I wasting my timeI am so confused. I dont want to stop dating him but whats the point if it wont progress.
View related questions:
older man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 His age is not the problem. The problem is that he’s NOT giving you what you need. You want and need affection and he’s not providing that.
My partner told me when we first started that he never says “I love you”…. But he’s been known to say it to me… because he never felt it before he never said it… to me “I’m not affectionate or romantic” means “I don’t feel that with YOU”…
IF you want permanent with a partner and he’s leaving in a year and you have no plans to follow (and as unhappy as you are after 2 months it will only get worse as you go farther along in the relationship), then I would end it.
IF you were happy with his behavior I’d say..enjoy the year… in this case, my advice is to cut your loses and end it now… but again NOT because of his age but more because your personalities don’t mesh.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (27 June 2012):
 I can understand how you feel, but I think you already know what you need to do. If he doesn't say sweet or thoughtful things to you, he probably isn't interested. Even if there was a chance you could have a real relationship, do you want a man who confuses you by never showing you any affection? You are probably someone he enjoys spending time with, but he may not see you as anything more than that. I think it would really be hard to stay with a man who did not show you any affection.
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather  +, writes (27 June 2012):
 Sounds like you just answered your own question, Miss. But then do you think about everyone you date as a possible long-term relationship?
Accept it for what it is, an intimate friendship that will naturally expire sooner rather than later. Or, if you can't face the inevitable, cut loose now because it will be all the more painful further down the line.
As for the age aspect, I don't think 12 years at any stage in a person's life is so great at all. You are obviously mature-minded and seem to have found someone on your intellectual level so, at least this has taught you the type/ age of person to aim for in the future.
Good luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2012): You're 21 not 16, so while it is still a considerable age gap, he's basically still young and you're old enough for a relationship not to necessarily have any 'creep-ish' factor.
I know if it were me (I'm his age), I'd be slightly concerned about what people might think, so maybe that explains his stand-offishness to a degree.
If he's leaving for good in a year's time and you have no intention of joining him, then you have a choice: either take it and enjoy it for what it is without any expectations of anything long term, or break it off. I'd say this issue is more pertinent than the age difference.
...............................
A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (26 June 2012):
 If you're not getting the affection and attention that you are seeking, and you've talked to him about it, and he's said that is just the way he is, then he isn't going to change. Couple that with the fact that he moving to another country, I say yes, you are wasting your time with this one. Why spend the next year miserable, just to have it end,, anyway? Time to move on.
...............................
|
