A
female
age
36-40,
*orn-In-Two
writes:Hey folks, It's been about 4 months since I broke up with my ex, and now I've found a good guy. We met online, and began talking quite a bit. We got together, and since then he's asked me to be his girlfriend.I said yes, and its been a lot of fun. I'm just concerned that I'm falling "too fast". We've only been going out a month or so, and it's not serious yet. He's in the Navy Reserves for another year, and then he wants to maybe become an officer. He's in school for film, and very motivated. One of the reasons I like him so much is that he is pretty open with his feelings. I catch myself thinking of him constantly, with a little ache in my heart when I can't see him. He lives about 30 minutes away, and I usually only see him on the weekends since I have a very busy work schedule, as does he. I've accidentally let it slip that I more than like him, in a cute, "get myself out of trouble "i loooove you" type way. He's let it slip too, as he's walking me to my car, he asks me to text him when I get home so he can tell me good night, how much he loves me, etc. He said it slipped out, but he was pleased that it did. :)Am I falling way to fast? I have told him that the more I spend time around him, the more time I want to spend around him, and he says it's the exact same way for him. He says being with me feels right. I agree. We both agree that despite us taking things slow in the intimate department, I have slept over and let me say, it does feel right. I would appreciate any thoughts on this. My dad knows I met him, and doesn't approve that he doesn't already have his BA. He's my age, but went into the Navy right from HS and the reason for my wanting someone with a BA is to show ambition, which he clearly has. Advice? :)
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female
reader, Torn-In-Two +, writes (8 January 2012):
Torn-In-Two is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is a question for parents:
My boyfriend and I are serious about each other now, its been about 6 months now. He has stepped up his boyfriend skills, spending a lot more time with me, talking a lot more, doing more things with me, expressing himself more frequently and clearly, etc. Things are great :). We decided that we wanted to spend more time together, so he's spending the weekdays over at my apartment, and going home on saturday-sunday. We are splitting costs pretty evenly, and he's starting school in the spring full-time, while working part-time at a local store.
Since we are serious about each other now, my parents need to be told about our relationship. So, here is my question to all the PARENTS out there.
Would you respect your daughter's decision of a bf if he was going to school full time, was visibly in love with your daughter, taking care of her, respectful of her, respectful of you, confident in himself, and willing to defend himself as worthy of her? He is in the Navy Reserves, as I said before, and he wants to try to get into film before going back to Active Duty, so he has 2 good plans of action for his future, both would support a family and both show ambition.
PARENTS, please leave comments and advice, it would be immensely appreciated. Please also leave what you would think of said boyfriend moving in with your daughter slowly but surely, because he is. We are also discussing getting an apartment together soon. Thank you so much :)
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 October 2011):
 Yes, slow down! You're going from "nice to meet you" to "I love you more than anything in the world". Don't go from that to living together within 2 months. Relationships that tend to flame on like this tend to flame out.
A good serious relationship is a marathon, not a 50-yard dash. Take it slow, and remember, while it seems that you both are soulmates, it takes a long time to really get to know each other.
However, your dad being critical of his not having a BA is a bit unreasonable. Just love him because he's being protective of his daughter.
Also, you mention that your boyfriend is in the Navy Reserves? That's not a full time active duty job. How does he support himself? What does he do for a living primarily? Be wary because if he has no job, it's possible that he's sweeping you off your feet in order to use you and your money. Anytime a relationship goes too fast or steps are "skipped", always keep your guard up. Never lend him money, and never give him money, and do not rush to move in together.
Don't take out credit cards, don't leave your personal info (i.e. social security cards) where he can get at it. A friend I know had a relationship that flamed on similar to yours, and the guy ended up secretly opening up credit cards using her info and adding him as a card user. He went to jail, and her credit is beyond destroyed.
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