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Could we work or remain simply as friendly coworkers?

Tagged as: Crushes, Dating, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

Here's the thing. I live a life in shackles. Every waking day I'm reminded of what I have to live with. I have an illness caused/triggered by a traumatic incident I've experienced. I love my new/current job. My coworkers were so very welcoming and taught me much/if not all of what I've learned. This past month things changed. My outside world became a blur. I wasn't feeling like myself. Lack emotion. Lost feeling in certain areas of body. Lost feeling in my sense of taste. Lack control over extremities/ speech. Constantly having to awake myself back to reality. There is no doubt in my mind that people at work think I'm crazy/have an eating disorder/both and have been monitoring my every move. I've been placed on meds, but when many things are thrown at me at work-I lose focus in my sense of self and in the now, thus lacking the necessary control of my body. I'm working on this... researching coping mechanisms.

Now this is what I need you for, Cupid:

I really like a coworker. I know what you're thinking... but he indeed makes me feel different, in that he makes me feel something. He's not your typical guy.. He's really upbeat- tries to make me laugh every chance he gets. He tries to make small talk, and asks questions as if interested in getting to know me. But all in all, his eyes tell me what he's so desperately trying to convey. They grab hold of me. Pure heartedly inexplicable.

So this begs the following questions:

Do you believe it could work between him and I?

If and when he does ask me out, would you say yes?...or avoid the question for as long as you can, until you feel stable enough to enter into anything?

(For the guys out there) Having carefully chosen the word If in the previous question, does attraction/connection for a female outweigh all weaknesses/flaws?

View related questions: at work, co-worker

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with SVC

STICK to getting yourself HEALTHY before even considering dating. You are still not "stable" by your own admission and if stress at work can have SUCH a profound effect on you, imagine a relationship added onto that?

And then we have the.. HE is a co-worker. If it doesn't work out? YOU still have to be around him 5 days a week. Can you handle that on top of everything else?

I would not avoid the question of him asking you out. If he does I would explain that you would like to AS friends or thanks, but no thanks.

Focus on you. Keep seeing your therapist/counselor/doctor and keep working on you. We are ALL a work in progress.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (31 March 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI think until you have your illness and issues under control consistently that dating anyone should be on the back burner.

You are worried about an IF.... not a WHEN....

and even then worrying about the future makes it so you can't enjoy the present.

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