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How do I become ok and comfortable with my sexuality?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2015) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 April 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I'm bisexual and ive known it for years now. I'm out to most of my friends but I'm not completely comfortable with it myself. I spend a lot of my time thinking about how I would be happier if I was straight. And I have a preference for girls so I spend a lot of time thinking about what if I'm gay and not bi and have to then come out again as gay. I'm pretty sure that my parents know about my sexuality while I haven't told them yet, but I'm still scared to even though I know they'd be fine about it which probably comes from not being comfortable with it myself.

I was to be loud and proud, but instead I just cower in a corner and divert a conversation away from my sexuality. I really like a bi girl too and I think she maybe might like me but I'm too scared to ask her out because what if she says yes and I then am forced to tell my parents that I have a girlfriend?

So I guess my question is, how do I become ok and comfortable with my sexuality?

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A female reader, Euphoric29 Germany +, writes (2 April 2015):

Dear OP,

Before you can be out and proud, you need to make peace with this yourself.

I'm also bi and I only felt really comfy with this in my mid-twenties. Give yourself some time and always go with your spontaneous, intuitive preference. If you prefer girls now, then pursue girls and don't ask yourself too much if you're gay or bi. For the moment, you like girls more than boys. Period. No one can know in advance what will happen in the next 20 years.

Later in life, you'll end up with a girlfriend, or boyfriend, and people will get used to it. Maybe some day you'll also change and go from a girlfriend to a boyfriend, there'll be some surprise, but nobody will get a heart attack from it.

My advice is to only come out to your parents as bi or gay, if you actually have a girlfriend and feel happy. The happiness of new-found love will give you the pride and self-confidence you need. If you have someone to text, to kiss, to share intimacy with, you'll care much less about what your parents might think.

To be single and having a coming-out is kind of weird and hypothetical. It's like announcing: "One day I might actually want to have sex with a woman". I did it that way and it came across as quite provocative. Well. My coming-out didn't go as planned, anyway. But my parents recovered :). And ten years later, it's completely normal who I am and what I do (plus, they don't need to know everything anymore..)

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