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Could his rejection just be a sign of depression? How can I help him?

Tagged as: Faded love, Health, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 October 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 24 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *lare_louise writes:

Hi,

About two months ago, my boyfriend went on holiday with his single friends. A few days before returning, he text me and told me he wanted to be on his own. Then he told me that 'He loves me but he is not in love with me.' I asked him how long he had felt like that and he told me that he loved me before he left for his holiday, but then he don't know what happened, but it stopped.

I am heartbroken, he was my world and I just can't let him go...

A few days ago, he e-mailed me to try and explain why, but says that he has changed and that he feels lost and doesn't know what happened to him. He said he feels like he is having a 'mental breakdown' and has symptoms of depression. I know this, because my Mother suffers from depression.

I want to help him, but he has just cut me off. He hasn't told anyone else, and he is very close to his family. I don't understand why he told me and I can't help but want to be there for him. He has a very bad temper and he says it is worse now!

Am I stupid for believing that this 'I love you, but I am not in love with you' is a symptom oof deperession? Can he change his mind once he has gained the help that he needs? Or is this just an excuse for the way he has treated me?

Thanks for reading? I love him so much...and I don't know how to stop the way he did...over days?!

xxx

View related questions: heartbroken, on holiday, text

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A female reader, Clare_louise United Kingdom +, writes (24 October 2008):

Clare_louise is verified as being by the original poster of the question

No, my Mum has been treated and we have been through a lot together and I know how to deal with her depression. I am good at knowing the signs, but it is difficult to emotionally detatch myself in this situation...if that makes sense? I know I have to do it though, as we have to just leave Mum when she is depressed...as cruel and harsh as that souunds...distance and space is the only thing that seems to help!

He knows where I am if need be, but I am too emotional to allow myself to help him

Thanks Guys! xx

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2008):

He may need help but there is no gauruntee that he will get back with you if he gets that help.

I think you've just got to let him go for a while. You can't keep chasing him or he'll just run further.

If he gets to the point where you are concerned for his safety then call his parents and tell them, but for now, back away and let him realise what a stupid mistake he is making in losing you.

Good Luck!! xx

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