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Sometimes I feel so unhappy with my boyfriend I just want to get out!

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Question - (23 October 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2010)
A female South Africa age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm really so confused is it normal. Me and my bf (22) are dating for a year and half now, but most of the time he do things that make me feel so awful, sad and just unhappy, that I just want to get out of this relationship during these difficult times. Don't get me wrong he also has lots of good points but I only realise this sometimes:( I really love him, we've been through a lot but why does my heart sometimes tell me I have to let go? He likes to talk to me about him wanting marry me when we're alone, but today when we chattd to friends he said, no I don't want to marry now, I want to enjoy my life now before I'm 30 and then I'll get married. What does that mean and why did it make me feel so so unhappy and upset?

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A female reader, dianne.rachelm United States +, writes (25 August 2010):

Hey there. I completely understand what you mean. It is the same way with my boyfriend right now and i feel unhappy all the time. Its as if he doesnt want to spend time with me ever! So I am not the best person to give advice on that subject.

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A male reader, aggnaveen India +, writes (27 November 2008):

Hi

it may be possible that your boyfriend doest want to marry with you due to several reasons:

may be he no more interested in you

may be due to some family reasons

may be due to some other reasons

actually u have to access all information from your boyfriend regarding this matter, and when u get cut to cut answer only after that u feel some good otherwise u will be remain in confusion.

because same matter is with me. my girlfriend also doesn't want to marry with me because of her family reasons.

with regards

Naveen Aggarwal

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A female reader, penguin64 United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2008):

penguin64 agony auntEvery relationship has its up and downs. The slightest thing can make a person change their mind on certain things. He may want to marry you but think its best to wait until he is older. But if its not what you want then maybe this relationship isn't for you. It got you so upset because it's like building you up to let you down. You need to decide whether you actually want the same things.xx

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2008):

Well you can either stay for the enxt 8 years and put up with him hoping that he will marry you... or you can get out.

If you are unhappy in this relationship then get out!

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, Beery United Kingdom +, writes (23 October 2008):

Beery agony auntIt's really impossible to know whether the problem is caused by you or your boyfriend if you refuse to tell us WHY you feel 'awful, sad and unhappy'. Without specifics no one will even know what the problem is, never mind how to solve it.

As to your boyfriend's two opposing viewpoints, it's only natural to be like that. Heck, no one knows what it is they really want and everyone says one thing at one point and says something diametrically opposed at another - that's human nature. I've been in a relationship for twenty years, yet I sometimes say to friends that single life has its allure, but that doesn't mean I want to go out and get a divorce tomorrow.

In short, you're over-analyzing something that your boyfriend said to folks he may not care about as much as you.

Let us know WHY your boyfriend is making you feel bad - then we can help with the main problem.

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