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Can women really be addicted to a man for the sex?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 21 October 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *evine92 writes:

Okay ladies, this is pretty sexual. What do you think of a man that is a, for lack of a better word, GOD in bed. Can women really be addicted to a man that can basically just give her absolute pleasure anytime, anywhere, all the time? Would cheating with another man even cross your mind if your guy is superman in bed? I know sex is not the only thing in a relationship, but let's say all other aspects are fine AND the sex is amazing. What do women think of a guy (whether he's your boyfriend/husband or not) who is a "female orgasm creating madman?"

p.s. Is it true ladies talk about the sex they had with their man to their friends? Especially if the sex was amazing?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011):

Women talk about sex, but not with all their girlfriends, just the closest one(s). I talk about it with only one friend (we've been close friends since childhood). I also have 6 or 7 girlfriends I can't imagine sharing intimate stories with, because we are not that close. But the one I do talk with, we go into a lot of detail, and I mean a lot, especially her. Sometimes she tells me stuff I really didn't need to know.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 October 2011):

Honeypie agony auntGood sex, good relationship, good chemestry and cheating can be totally unlrelated. The reason people cheat is often (from what I have seen) a self desctructive behavior. Or purely selfish behavior.

Anyone can be addicted to good sex. But if all you get is good sex, eventually even that novelty wears off. Specially for women.

I think there are plenty of folks out there (men & women) who gets mediocre sex with their partners, but still love them to death. Sex is great and pretty important in a relationship, but.. you can't built a lasting relationship on it. You ned more tricks in the bag then "just" sex.

Do women talk to their GF about their sexual partners and experiences.. Some do. Some don't. Depends on the girl and her friends.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (21 October 2011):

chigirl agony auntWell, some women talk to their friends about the sex they've had, and others don't. That one depends on the person and how open about sex they are. Not many women are as open about sex, really, Sex and the City opened that door for many who before wouldn't even think of sharing anything with friends.

I've always been one to talk openly about sex, and found it helpful. Women learn from each other, we learn what to do if this or that happens, how to avoid certain things, how to give a great blowjob, what to do when a man can't get it up, how to be sexy, learn positions from each other, learn what lubricants work and what doesn't work. We learn from it, so it's not always about bragging or handing out imaginary medals, it's also to learn from each other. The women who talk about sex do not only talk about the mans accomplishments, we also talk about our own, how difficult or easy we find it to have orgasms, how we feel about a man performing cunnilingus, how we feel about toys in bed etc.

Next, can a woman be addicted to a man who is a god in bed? Yes. I think so. Great sex is, quite frankly, great sex. It makes you feel amazing. Naturally that's something you want to experience over and over. However if the guy is not a good match in other areas the relationship can not last for long if the sex is the driving force behind it. A relationship is founded of different aspects, the best foundation being friendship, honesty, trust. A bad foundation is physical appearance and sex.

A woman who is likely to cheat will probably cheat either way though. A cheater is a cheater and they often cheat with something less great than what they have at home, so it wouldn't surprise me if a woman who has a god in bed at home decides to cheat with a man who sucks in bed. Cheaters are cheaters, quite simply.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (21 October 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntDid you write this question just for me? :-)

Let's do the easy stuff first.. yes we talk about sex with our close friends but not in detail... we don't disect (at least I don't) but in general terms.. and not like we get up the next morning and brag on him or something....

now on to the if he's a GOD in BED would we cheat...

umm... is he a GOD at taking out the trash? or listening to me at the end of the day? or rubbing my feet? or taking me to dinner? or having a conversation that involves more than grunting at me while he swills beer and watches football?

SEX is fun hon but it's NOT the be all or end all of ANY relationship... not even a FWB can survive ON JUST SEX... ya gotta be able to find common ground too...

My story in a nutshell:

married to a nice man 11 years younger than I am.. sex is awesome he's the first man ever to be able to make me orgasm at all and he's very consistent about it... and he does it willingly... we are content... it's not perfect but it's a comfortable marriage. We had an open arrangement and had many close friends were were intimate with on many levels.. none of them rocked my world sexually like he did.

Then I met a man who rocks my brain... that was what got my attention... not his body or his sexual skill... in fact, sex SUCKS with this guy... but I'm with him now not the husband. I LEFT THE SEX GOD for a man who stimulates my brain... I'm with a man who is warm and cuddly and overly affectionate who cannot make me orgasm because hon I can make myself orgasm but I can't love on myself and cuddle myself and I can't have a decent converation with myself....

Yeah you can be a great guy and a sex god and the relationship can be just fine and still she can leave.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011):

"but let's say all other aspects are fine AND the sex is amazing" I think there is a casual link you aren't taking into account. Sex could be amazing BECAUSE other aspects in the relationship are fine. For women a lot about enjoying sex is about being able to let go. She could be enthusiastic about the sex because she's so at ease and relaxed with you. Or if she's having an affair with you, she might be enthusiastic about the sex because you are the partner she feels she's supposed to cut loose and let go with. There are a lot of reasons women enjoy sex and ask for repeat performances...the guy's skill set is only half of it.

Taking pride in making your partner happy in bed is a good thing. I think women open up more sexually if their sexuality is appreciated. So props to you for that, but I would caution against calling yourself a "female orgasm creating madman" or a "GOD in bed" though. Be aware you are casting yourself as a walking dildo; this can put a lot of women off. Just because you have a great sexual rapport with one women doesn't mean you will have the same rapport with others. And some women find men who brag about their sexual abilities...unconvincing. I think the last time I ran across a guy who claimed he "knew how to please a woman", me and my female friend rolled our eyes and told each other later, "If he has to say it out loud, it probably isn't true in the first place"

Yeah, ladies do talk about sex with guys. But it's not typically a "critic's choice" award kind of discussion. They aren't going to go on and on about how great you were the other night and give play by plays. In fact women tend only to talk about sex positively with other women IF they are proud of the relationship e.g., "He's really smart, he's so funny, he's super cute....and he's really good in bed too." A women probably won't say, "He's an asshole... but you know he's really got some moves." If she's cheating, she's not going to talk about the sex with other women at all.

If you want free advertising about your sexual abilities, you get that by being an all around good guy that women want to be publicly associated with and talk about in the first place.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011):

Maybe. My fiance is awesome in bed, AMAZING, and we have wicked chemistry. He says Im the best hes ever had too... And I sure am addicted to him, but not really because of the awesome sex... although its a plus ;) he is just an overall amazing person who makes me happy in and out of the bedroom. I have never even thought of other men since we became serious.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (21 October 2011):

Ciar agony auntPeople are capable of forming addictions to anything that provdes them with immediate gratification, so the answer to your first questions is yes, women can become 'addicted'.

Like men, some women do discuss private sexual matters with their friends, but in my experience this is rare. Sharing information with others sometimes feels like sharing ownership of the experience so I think most tend to avoid it, especially as they get older and more mature. 'Sex in the City' is fiction remember.

Describing oneself as a 'female orgasm creating machine' implies quantity not quality. Most women would be unimpressed unless they were specifically seeking sexual gratification and weren't concerned about the risk of disease. And since it takes two to tango they would probably assume they were just as reponsible for the mind blowing orgasms as he was.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011):

Anyone Women or Man can be addicted to someone for sex. But you have to remember that sex is all it is so your not really addicted to the person your just addicted to sex in general. believe me when someone is with you just because your good in bed it dose not last forever they will eventually get bored and find another person to sleep with. Sex is not everything ! You have to have something in common and lots of other factors for a relationship to work. Looks fade . One day you will wake up and be 80 and have nothing to talk about if your married to someone for sex only haha!

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A female reader, Trinklett Canada +, writes (21 October 2011):

Trinklett agony auntYes. But if he's attitude and way of treating women isn't good enough, no matter how 'Godly' the sex is, would be gone in 6 months

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