A
female
age
30-35,
*ediocreland
writes:So my boyfriend smokes weed and I don't. As far as I know, he only does it with his roommates and doesn't pay his own money for the weed. I've smoked a few times when I was younger, and had bad expierences with it, so I generally say no when they offer me the bong.I convince myself I don't mind, and I tell him I don't care, but it makes me feel utterly uncomforatble when him and his roommates do it when I'm around. He'll get so high he forgets I'm there, and him and his roommate will just play mind games with eachother. I'm not one to ask them in their own house not to smoke, so I just deal with it.Recently he's been talking about it more and more, about being stoned or the things they do when they're high, and its completely unattractive to me when he talks like that. It really puts me off.So I guess my question is, can a relationship work when one person smokes weed, and the other one doesn't? In your expirences has it worked in the long run?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2009): Me and my partner have been together for years and he smokes pot and i dont and we get along just great thats only because i dont have a problem with him or it,who is the biggest problem him or the pot?
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (16 August 2009):
I'd stop pretending you don't care and tell him how you feel. Tell him you adore him as your boyfriend, but when he gets high he forgets you are there and that you don't like it, it doesn't feel good to feel like you are invisible. Tell him that he's free to do what he wants, but ask him to understand that you only want to be around him when he isn't high, so from now on if you are with him and he picks up the bong you are just going to leave and he can call you when he sobers up.
This is important because you need to set your boundaries and be where it feels comfortable for you to be. If you just keep putting up with it, you will start to resent him. It's also good for him to see that there are negative consequences to smoking too much pot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): You need to think long and hard about this... and there's NO WAY to predict what will happen, but long term, if he can't grow out of this it's not going to work.Smoking weed occasionally in your late teens is part of growing up. Becoming a daily smoker is NOT normal (think average here...). Most folks try it, play with it, and then realize that it's like being a daily drinker... fun in very small amounts, but likely to get way out of control and wreak your life (at least for a while).All too often people at this age numb themselves with pot and fail to develop some critical coping skills that are neccessary over the next few decades. Sometimes relationships can last a while, but I've got to share with you that at age 48 our last freinds (where he smoked and she didn't) are going through a NASTY divorce. Seems he had a positive drug test at work last year, and hasn't been able to get a job, and the grind of the relationship has crushed her. He'd chased all kinds of fantasy 'art' careers (total waste of money) and they had to declair bankruptcy last year... it's not pretty. He lacks drive and coping skills to keep a job, and turns to pot to make up for that... nice people, not criminals... but he didn't go to college, she garduated from a prestigious university... bright gal... now late in life will have to start dating all over again...You need to think this through - make a chart and see if you can diagram the various paths you each might take... if you want to raise a family, it's going to get harder as your SO is going to need to get a serious education and a good job... hard to do if your stoned... and those freinds with fee weed will NOT last forever!
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite  +, writes (16 August 2009):
 i have known people who one does and the other doesnt but because its an activity you dont share then he should be doing it when your not their but since you havent told him that you rather not be in that atmosphere your puttin up with it so you need to talk about that. otherwise it will continue and things will break down because their is no communication. some talk about it because their are some goods to be had from a high but people do it with drink also i remember when you fell off the table hahahah type of thing.. but what im trying to say is you need to talk to him to sort out these problems but you cannot dictate to him what he should do all you can do is ask that if your together for him not to do that when your their or make times to meet when it doesnt involve that. it can work but you need to talk and air your mind a little. hope this helps aphex xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2009): If you were both married and had a child, is it permissable by you that pot was in the home and around the child, because I doubt he will change his ways overnight. Guys who smoke this stuff generally keep producing girls
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