A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. I'm sad. Can I do anything to resolve?We have been together for a year and a half. My ex gf and I took a break about 2 months ago because we've been bickering. She's been stressed out at work, school, and dealing with a messed up family. She said she wanted to take some time to be single to deal with these stresses in her life, which, included me. Of course I didn't agree. Even with this break, we still acted like a couple. We both admit that feelings are still there, but I think it's odd because she's adamant about wanting to be single, even though she asks me if she could sleep over, hang out, and just lay with me. When we're together, it's great, but then she gets some time alone, she gets sad, then starts questioning why she spends so much time with me. 2 weekends ago, it came to a head. She broke up 2 events with me, etc. Told me she didn't want to speak to me anymore, etc. So I just dropped it. Didn't talk to her for a week. This past Saturday, she calls me. Makes up an excuse to see if I was home all weekend because she's may come over to pick up the rest of her stuff, to which she knows she has everything.We talked for like 2.5 hours on the phone. She even came over to hang out that night. The next night we had dinner. She does some poking around, asking if I've been happy, etc, if I was dating.I told her I've been doing well, not really dating. She mentioned some girl that I could be set up with, and I told her that I actually would date that woman if I had the chance. That's when things went downhill.She started accusing me of dating so soon, etc. Brought up bad things I did in the relationship.We had a talk yesterday which was good and she ended up spending the night. So I ask, what is going on? She called me, asked me to dinner, even led me with the question "you should date this woman?" then all hell breaks loose! The next night, she spends the night and then just last night. I didn’t expect to see her last night. I just texted her how her studying is going, she said she was starving. So we agreed to get pizza. She came over. When she came over, she had her mouthwash thing, so this kinda gave me an idea that she wanted to stay the night. So we just talked about things. She thanked me for the pizza, and said she was going home. I asked her why, she said that she doesn’t want this to be a habit, etc etc. She again just said she needed to be single and figure stuff out, but she is happy that she is figuring stuff out. I told her that I still feel there is a connection between us, etc, and she said that sometimes she thinks we are too different, etc., etc. But then she goes, “Hey, it’s getting late. Can we talk about this in bed”? So she ended up staying the night. We didn’t talk about it anymore, just normal convo then we both passed out in each others arms.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): What age is your girlfriend? You are in your late 30's and you say she is in school. Grad school? Undergrad? High School?
Because she seems very young and immaturish to me (I know that isn't a word, really).
She hasn't broken up with you, she is still coming around and yanking your chain.
She wants to date other people but she is too comfortable with you to let you go, you seem to be her security blanket.
Personlly, I think you should be the one to walk. Let her have what she is saying she wants which is her freedom.
If you want a committed relationship with her then why settle for this nonsense? Stop letting her drop over, stop having 2 hour conversations with her or continue to do so and ask her what the hell is it that she wants?
Do you think she is pulling away because she wants a marriage proposal from you? This may be what is going on in her head and she isn't woman enough to tell you what she really wants for herself. Or she is telling herself she doesn't know either, but it might not be you.
I don't know her, don't know the situation, but don't avoid the conflict, either fish or cut bait.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): Do you want an honest answer or a fluffy one?Fluffy: She just needs time to adjust to everything thats going on in her life, Just be patient and dont make big deals of small issues and everything will be back the way it was.honest: How long do you want to keep on like this?. Get rid of her and meet someone new. She does need time to resolve her life, but will want a change anyway. If you stay she will eventually meet someone new. Then how will you feel?Please dont do this to yourself, life is too short for nonsense
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