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Boyfriends best friend is constantly with us and it makes me very uncomfortable. I don't know what to do!

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 December 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Afternoon. :)

I have a little situation with my boyfriend, we live in halls (college halls) and because of this, we live together all the time, we share the same room etc. We have literally no issue with this, we get on so well and everything is okay with us.

It's his best mate that's the problem, he lives 2 apartments up from us, and is in the room CONSTANTLY. 8 a.m until class time, he's here. Straight after class until lunch, he's here. Straight after lunch, until next class, he's here. Dinner until around 1am HE'S HERE! He makes me so freaking uncomfortable, he's weird!!!!!

He does annoying things, like never knocking, he walks in, makes himself at home, eats my food, takes my phone, uses my laptop, and makes fun of me when I eat, because I'm fat.

And now, my boyfriend came to me and he was like "Got awesome news, he (the best friend) is moving to the room next door to us!!!!" I was almost sick, this freak is never going to leave!!!!!!

I totally understand he's my boyfriends mate, but what the actual hell?!?! Who does that?!

I don't know what to do, I can't tell my boyfriend because he'll think I'm nagging him and trying to stop him talking to his friends. But I'm getting stuck out of my own room, because whenever his best friend comes, I leave. I never get time in my own room!

Help :(

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2012):

I was about to recommend sound advice like all the people here, but I have to say if you just flirt with his best friend or pretend to really enjoy his company, the chances are you're boyfriend will solve this problem for you.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (2 December 2012):

chigirl agony auntI was about to ask if you've even opened your mouth and told your boyfriend. But then you write you haven't. Out of fear of sounding like a nag. This isn't nagging, it's being HONEST. Your boyfriend can not read your mind, and men highly apprechiate it when women open their mouths and SAY what bothers them, rather than sit quiet and let it simmer until they blow up and the poor guy doesn't know what he did wrong.

Tell him! It's your room too, you're entitled to want some privacy. He can visit his friend instead of the friend always coming to yours place. But you need to speak up, because nothing will change as long as you keep pretending everything is fine and never say a word...

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (1 December 2012):

N91 agony auntWell if you cant tell your boyfriend, then what are advice are you expecting? lol Get a password activated front door?

The only thing that you CAN do is tell your boyfriend. How else is he going to know that you feel very uncormfortable with the current arrangement?

Just explain to him that you understand that they are best mates, but you'd appreciate to spend some time alone with him, without his mate playing third wheel.

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