A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I have been in a relationship for 7 months now First, my boyfriend has expressed through actions how much he cares for me and maybe loves me but he has not said he loves me yet. This is something he was worrying about a lot about a month ago and I was reassuring him there was no rush or pressure for him to love or tell me he loves me. He could feel it and chose to tell me at his own pace but he was always worrying about it. I think the hardest moment for me was when he told me that when I even say the words I love you that they just sound like words to him... he was just being honest but it still hurt he is so lost on how to feel and anytime i ask him how does he feel he says I guess i am happy. I have not let it bother me and told myself maybe when I got to the 6 month mark I would start to worry but still have not till now. I now really wish he would tell me cause it hurts a lot when I tell him I love him and all I get is an "ok" not easy to swallow a tiny ok. I know the wait is going to be worth it but I guess maybe I am just going through that moment were it is bothering me. Is there anything I can maybe do that may help me not be bothered so much should I open up to him about how it is kinda bothering me? He normally is okay with me saying anything on my mind, but this subject never seems like the easiest. Second thing i want to ask is when me and him have sex its fine but it always seems like its the same and I think he is just comfortable with how it is but I would like to do a little more foreplay or maybe add some oral. He has never seemed that easy to talk to about sex cause last time I asked him for oral he said "I am not to fond of the taste". I said well I am not who ever you tasted in the past you have never done it with me but then he told me he was just not ready to go there and was afraid about doing something wrong also. I told him i was not going to judge him but that I would really love to have some oral. So since that talk the only thing that has been happening for the past 3 or 4 months is he fingers me a bit first, makes out with me, then has sex its been the same. no position changes no trying anything new. I love this man but I need help in how to make the sex more fun for both of us I want him to enjoy everything also.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 June 2011):
 oh dear...
I wish I had good advice... I have nothing but sympathy. BTDT on both counts.
My BF does NOT like to say I love you... in fact we've been together 7 months and last night was the first time he said "I think I DO love you" he can't even say "I love you" it's too hard for him... but he shows me he loves me in so many ways I don't worry too much about it... usually when I tell him "I love you" he says "thank you"... it's almost comical...
he also will not do ORAL... for him it's about the smell... and he's uber sensitive to scents so no matter when I bathe he says he can smell it... so I gave up... but he tries at least to keep our love life exciting...
maybe the next time you and your BF have sex you could just climb on top of him and be a bit proactive with him
A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (16 June 2011):
 HI
Not everyone will say "I love you" , they would much rather show you, but in your case he dont seem to be showing you either. So yes you must be very disheartened by this. But please dont take it personally, Maybe he was brought up without his parents telling him they love him, and also maybe he really wasn't talked to about how to please a women properly. To be honest not every man likes to give oral either, just as much as not all women like to give oral. You need to tell him that things need o change, and if he cant then you will have to move on, because unless something gives here it will not work in the end, and your both going to be dragging out the enevitable. Ask him why your words mean nothing to him, because you o need to talk this through, difficult or not. xx
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