A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone! I'd like to know if you think I'm being too sensitive about this issue or not. Every so often, my boyfriend starts teasing me about the fact I can be rather, erm, vocal in bed. I know he doesn't do it to be horrible, but he does like to poke good-natured fun at people - and this is one of the things he'll mock about me.I'm actually a rather shy and quiet girl in everyday life, so I think the contrast between that and my bedroom personality is what he finds amusing. Also, it hasn't been long since I lost my virginity to him; I guess we were both a bit surprised at how quickly I took to sex... it's felt great from the beginning! So I'll readily laugh off his comments for the most part. However, from time to time I can't help feeling pretty embarrassed when I pause to reflect upon it. Of course when you're caught up in the moment, you just do what comes naturally, but you might not want to remember it in detail afterwards! Once or twice I've gently asked my boyfriend to drop the subject when it pops up in conversation, but I don't think he realises quite how self-conscious it can make me feel. Don't get me wrong, he really is a wonderful guy and I'm very happy with him. But I'm worried that by overthinking this matter I'll end up holding back in the bedroom. Am I taking this the wrong way? And is being loud in bed (assuming you aren't troubling the neighbours or anything!) a good thing or not? Opinions would be very much appreciated :) Thank you x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 February 2013):
 if he's teasing you in private... let it go and stop over thinking it...
as long as he doesn't do it in public or in front of others it's no big deal... if he embarrasses you in front of others, then that's the issue to address...
but his teasing of you in private... that's just couple stuff honey.
last night my hubby (damn him) leaned over and after telling me he liked my new leggings and they looked good he proceeded to pat my now chubby tummy and tease me about it... now I know he does not mean any harm by it.... he just is comfortable and it's a part of me.... I just moved his hand and told him to stop.... it did not mean he thinks i'm fat... it did not mean he wants me to lose weight.. it did not mean he was being critical... he was just being comfy with his wifey,...
A
female
reader, Makayla5893  +, writes (25 February 2013):
I think it's stroking his ego, remembering how loud you were. I'd say he definitely likes this and that's why he teases you. Tease him back about something sex related, like his orgasm face. Lol
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A
male
reader, gundam007 +, writes (5 February 2012):
Being loud is a great thing for your guy. However, making you feel uncomfortable is not. Are you okay discussing your sex life outside of your relationship? If not, that's a line that you need to draw. You could tell him "It's great that I can be loud for you in bed, but if everyone's going to hear about it, then I don't think that I can do it at all." That'll change his tune and keep him quieter out of bed.
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A
female
reader, Makayla5893 +, writes (27 January 2012):
He probably likes teasing you because he likes to remember the great time you guys had together, because it made him feel like the man!
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A
male
reader, unknown2u +, writes (27 January 2012):
Being loud is a very wonderful affirmation. He should be very grateful that you're giving him that feedback.
It's not clear from your question whether he's taunting you in private or if he's telling friends that your loud. If it's the latter, then he's way out of what's OK. If it's just between the two of you, then he's just being stupid and better get his head on straight. He shouldn't do anything to discourage you from what you doing -- taunting you about it is discouraging that.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (27 January 2012):
 In my opinion, keep doing what comes naturally. I've been with several gals who were very vocal. It was always ok with me, though it may have interested a few neighbors as well.
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A
female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (27 January 2012):
 Dont let it bother you!
I wish I was louder, heck, the loudest I ever was was when we were trying to be SUPER quiet, because his friends were in the next room over, and I was breathing heavily.
I wish I could be loud like you! Or at least make some noise, haha.
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A
female
reader, eri_sunshine  +, writes (27 January 2012):
If you've explained to him that it makes you uncomfortable, then go a little further and really tell him how it makes you feel! But if that doesn't work and he still pokes fun at you, then please don't take it too seriously! He is just joking, and respond by joking about it with him! Guys almost always find girls being loud in the bedroom as sexy because it shows just how much theyre enjoying it! So it really is a great thing- any guy would take a loud girl in bed over a silent one! So do it with pride!
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