A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:hi all,My boyfriend and I have had a pretty good relationship for the last two years, and we both lead independent seperate lives even though we live together (I mean, we each have our own friends/jobs/social lives). He has always been really into online gaming but recently he has started gaming a lot more, at least 3-4 hours a night. It's taking its toll on our relationship because his online friends/online 'missions' on world of warcraft are always his first priority! He has bailed on dates to game and lied to avoid going out with me. He's also missed lectures (we are students). To me this seems like addictive behaviour but when we went on holiday he was perfectly happy not gaming for two weeks so it might not be. When I've discussed it with him, he has said that it's just his way of having fun, and I'm angry about it because it isn't 'cool'. Really I am angry because I think he loves his computer/fantasy world more than me, and I am sick of making excuses to my friends for him as to why he doesn't come out. We have sex a lot less than we used to. I keep thinking I am to blame for this relationship breakdown. I have put on weight and I am constantly stressed about the future/money/my finals, and I am probably not much fun to be around!so what can I do? Should I do anything to change my boyfriend or myself? I'm determined to make this relationship work!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): you are far from alone on this one. my boyfriend and i have been together almost 5 years and hes been playing wow for like a year and he plays 5-6 hours at least every day and it drives me bonkers.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): I am the exact same way...My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year...He plays other games besides WOW, but most of the time when I call him, it seems like he is just "too busy" for ME! Dang, it makes me so upset sometimes! I feel so mad, because although we are not in college (yet!) we will be someday, and I don't want crap like this to ruin it. I mean, sure, a guy needs to have something to have to come back to after a hard days work, but that also involves his woman! And GAMES DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT have ANY tole on a persons sex life...that is where the games should end, girl! Tell him that, too!
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female
reader, XCharX +, writes (3 September 2009):
i dont know but if you find out please tell me
me and my boyfriend have been together 2 and a half years
but recently like last few months hes on wow every day
it drives me crazy i stay round and nothing he barely even talks to me
but i dunno try dating with him go places that you used to go etc
good luck and sorry
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): hey, i have the exact same issue too,P i did try and talk with my boyfriend and he seems to be a lil more considerate, but he is still unbelievably occupied with wow, and i really don't feel like starting a account just to keep up with him because i don't want it to take up all my free time and life. My boyfriend is really good at WOW and i found out from him after a couple of expansions(don't know how long =/ a couple of years?), the creators r going to try and end it with a final dungeon and are they are trying to create a new game. =/
-my best advice try to get him hooked on another game or hobby that does not require his full attention with people online(prevent any future wow look alikes with discrete behavior).
-also if his habbit ever bothers u enough to bring it up in the future at anytime, always try to be cool headed without lashing out any harsh feelings/language(addicts tend to be very sensitive .) good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2009): I believed my story was uncommon, but now I see how serious it is.
I met the love of my life in high school, he graduated before me.
We've been living together for a little over a year now and have been dating for 2. We've established a future engagement to be married.
In the beginning of this relationship I felt so lucky, so loved. Always doing something, whether it was nothing or out of state fun. Before our relationship, he played WoW. He then started picking it back up a little over 6 months ago.
Since then, he plays hours on end EVERY DAY. EVERY DAY!
I even ask him if he can just spend this ONE day off it.
I've even started to lower my requests as to asking him to stay off for atleast an hour so we can watch a movie together, something. I don't care what we do. I mean, we live together. What does it matter if we're bored for a bit? As long as we're together, that's all i care about.
Anyhow, I gave him the pick and choose. His reply, "I'm not going to choose either because I'm not going to stop playing world of warcraft." Then, I heard his answer loud and clear.
He moved out at 6 AM to his mother's house the other day. He then came back. I thought this must be a miracle. Sure enough, it wasn't what I thought it was. I mean, I've told him everything I feel and think. And he instantly turns it on me and says I'm a bitch. He says he'd rather play wow then be bored with me. But then when he isn't on, he rubs my shoulders and tell me he loves me. This guy has even proclaimed that I am his soulmate.
Is this what love is like? Or am I just being fooled?
I can't decipher if leaving him forever or this wow addiction continuing would hurt more.
Most of the time, I'm totally set of working this out, then others, I'm ready to kill myself.
Anyhow, I'd like to talk about this. my email is [email address blocked]
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): I've been playing WoW for about 4 years (probably a bit less) and I can safely say, if you get "addicted" to a game easily, don't get this.
Personally, I know how to regulate my time (I do what needs to be done and have time for WoW), but I know a lot of people who don't.
If you're in a relationship and you want to play WoW, that's fine but you seriously need to spend time on daily chores, your school/college/work and especially your relationship.
Anyway, either you get your boyfriend to stop playing WoW or you dump him.
He obviously doesn't care enough about you to spend less time on a game for you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2009): dudeonce your hooked your hooked foreveri started playing when i was 14 and now im 21 and i still play, i dont play all the time its more of an on and off thing i would play for 3 months then quit for a while then end up coming back to the game a few months later.my adviceswitch off the internet for a few weeks
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009): 3 days ago I was staying at my bf's house for easter (I've been with him for half a year). I don't get to spend much time with him so when I came over he was already playing wow. He spent the entire time playing wow till he slept. then the next day when he got up at noon he started playing till 5am the next morning. which is 17 hours, he had work the next day but as soon as he finished he came home to play wow again till I got very mad. He was like 'I feel guilty for making you watch we should play wii or something' but he never got off the computer chair. Then I decided to leave and he although he said he felt guilty for making me bored, he didn't bother walking me to the train station :'(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2009): I hate this fucking game! I wish they would just take it away and off everything. Its ruining my relationship with a good man. He does care about me but he doesnt realize that for the past year hes been sitting there doing nothing but gaming. he wont even talk to his conselor about getting help. He gets so offended even when i ask him if he could just stop for a few days n he says well what am i supposed to do stair at a wall all day! im serious about leaving and he takes it as ajoke and turns the tables onto me because last year i played the sims for like 2 weeks!!! compared to his 1 year and counting on this game made by the devil!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): My relationship broken up today with my partner because he was too addicted to World of warcraft thanks to his best friend. He played the game from 8am straight through to 9pm the conversations and the passion became limited. Over the last couple of months it got worse even more so when his best friend made him go insane and he left me. I really HATE the game!! especially the private servers
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): As most have said, he must choose YOU or the GAME. I foolishly brought up playing WoW together sense we are both gamers and couldn't find a game that we could really play together. At the time my computer didn't have the memory to support the game and he went to a friends house to play it .. without me. Now he plays it nearly 24-7. I have slept alone on many nights because he was "In a Raid" or was "Killing This Boss with friends" and that they relied on him, which seriously hurt me. I wouldn't tolerate it, to be honest. If he can't log off for longer than a few hours then maybe it's time to find a different boyfriend.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2009): Simple... start playing the game with him
Meaning hours of time together and sharing an interest
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female
reader, JessicaN10  +, writes (3 March 2009):
LISTEN CAREFULLY.
My boyfriend was also addicted to warcraft, he was such a good boyfriend before he even played that game until noow.
He couldn't choose between me or the game. Which pretty much means he chose the game. If he loves you enough, he would take your concerns into consideration and be willing to quit.
But apparently , my boyfriend didnt.
So i'm ending it for you.
A guy most likely will not stop playing for you.
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female
reader, iAshiee +, writes (31 December 2008):
Hell, I'm a girl and I play WoW myself. I've been playing it for awhile now, and I do understand how addicting it can get (it's a lot of fun if you're into those kinds of things).However, just because it's a fun game (the keyword is GAME) that doesn't mean he should let it control his life. I would love to sit and play it a lot more, but honestly, it's not worth the money, and it's not worth losing my friends or boyfriend over (then again, he plays with me as well haha) Anyway... my point is, he obviously has troubles letting go of a silly game. You need to tell him this, as I told my ex (who was also addicted to it and into it way before I was) "It's me, or the game. I have a life, and I'm not going to waste it on watching you play this. Just because YOU have no life now doesn't mean I should give up mine"What happened? He stopped playing it as much while I was over, or when he knew we had plans. There were days where I felt really lazy and didn't care if he played while I was over.Don't blame ANY of this on you. It's just a silly game. And he's being really dumb. Yes, I love the game, and I was really into playing it at one point, but the difference is that I, along with other players, know that's just what it is: A GAME.This boy really needs to get his priorities straightened out. If you really want to embarass him, when people ask why he doesn't come out, just tell them that he's too busy playing with his little dwarf. (If you really think about it, it sounds pretty bad, lmao)Or, if you wanna use game lingo against him, just tell him it's either your or the game, and if need be, you'll go find someone else that can offer you more gold and has a bigger mount. ;)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): Hello... I met the love of my life 8 years ago. He moved in last year. I wanted a family, I wanted to get married, I am so in love with him. I bought him a game last year because he was unemployed and I thought that after I got home from work we could play it together. The first week was awesome with our new WoW characters. He had the time to study it while I was at work. The next week he was violently mad because I didnt have as much time to play as he did, so he starting leveling it up so high I could never catch up. Then I knew I lost him. He starting playing 20 hours a day, giving out my phone number to people online sending ugly emails that said HaHaHaHa "she begs for my time" or "I told her that I would come to bed early tonight and pay attention to her, well, f her!" He threw a telephone and hit me in the face when I asked him to stop playing and get a job. He then promised that he would quit, swore to God on my life! I believed in him. I asked some friends that play to see if he logs on, to see if I could trust him well.. he never quit playing. Everytime I have to run for groceries or responsibilities, he made excuses to stay home, everytime there was a family get-together he said he was sick, everytime the lawn needed cut, he had me do it because he didnt feel good, everytime I was sick and laid down early he never checked on me upstairs. He was sitting down here playing the game behind my back. He swears at me in my face with the F word and says he is not addicted, he told me he will play if I like it or not and calls me a control freak. He promised.. he is the one that said he was done.. He sucks down major amounts of alcohol and logs on every night, now even in front of me. I am ending the relationship. I love this man with all my heart and soul and will never get over him. I will probably wind up alone for the rest of my life because I love him so deeply but I have to end this. This is unhealthy for him and for me. He picked WoW over me. For me, Game Over. Hey everyone in the guild, please take care of him, I hope this game serves him well.. best of luck..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): As a 3 year long wow player, i recently quit all togeather.I can tell you in all honesty, you have no chance. I would reccomend you tell him how you feel, if that doesnt work you have two options.Option A: Get yourself a world of warcraft account, warning- you will probably fail your finals. On the bright side, youll get to enjoy playing wow togeather. Option B: Dump him, as long as your sure that he is causing the problem, and its unsolvable. Sorry if this seemed a little out of order, but ive seen my best friend lose his girlfriend, gain 24lbs and fail college because of this game. Addictions are very serious.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): My boyfriend is also doing his GCSEs but wow is taking over his life. He doesn't pay much attention to me anymore and has even told me he was grounded so he could play wow :s
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): My boyfriend is also doing his GCSEs and WoW has taken over his life. He's even told me he was grounded just so he can play on wow and not see me :s
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): i absolutely agree. my boyfriend is always on wow i dont know what to do. its taking over his life when he should be concerned about his gcses!! if anybody can help pls reply to this
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): My friend's kid is in his early 20s. He doesn't go to school and he doesn't work. He does not have a social life. He gets up at 5 in the after noon and plays WOW until he falls asleep. If I was his mom, I would be very concerned when he realizes the state his life is in. I wouldn't be surprise to find out suicide and WOW are positively correlated.
I also know a half dozen relationship that have been ruined because of WOW. Mine might be on the road to it. My boyfriend has failed out of grad school and only works 8 hrs a week. We talk on the phone because he lives so far away and talking with him is a struggle. Talking on the phone with him is impossible when he's playing (which is 75% of his awake time). I can tell if he is playing or not by the way he says hello. If he is, I automatically hang up. We are suppose to be getting married soon, but I don't know if I should be with someone who is so irresponsible. Because I know so many relationship that have been ruined, and the fact that my boyfriend has a very addicting personality (he was addicted to porn) I told him it's me or the game.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2008): AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I have this problem too... except it is not 3 - 4 hours a night.. its more like 11 - 12 hours a day. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years, and living together for about 2. Around the time that we moved in together was when he started playing this stupid video game. It has ruined our relationship... he's lost several jobs and now I'm stuck paying for everything and doing everything on my own because I can't drag him away from the F***king computer long enough to do anything. My advise is, #1 DO NOT start playing with him I feel like this is only stooping to his level. I know that it is addictive, and when I try and confront him about it he just gets VERY defensive. I know that it is something that he enjoys, but I feel like my relationship has been reduced to that of two room mates living in the same house.
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Ok, I agree with some of the comments here about the online gaming thing being his fun and he'd rather do that than sit on the sofa watching crappy TV. I can appreciate that. However, I'd rather spend time with that special someone cuddling on the sofa watching a film, than playing some fantasy role playing game.
I'd rather go for a walk and just talk to each other. In a relationship you have to spend some time together.
3-4 hours every single night seems excessive. He needs to have his own time, but he shouldn't neglect his friends/family/loved ones. Before he knows it he won't have any friends and will probably lose you as your patience runs out.
If he loses you I bet things will be different then. I played WOW for approx. 2 months and then sold my character on ebay for about £200 and spent it on dinner, drinks and a night out with my gf (at the time).
Sure, you both need time to do the things you want to do. But when you spend 3-4 hours every night - that is far too much in my opinion.
You both have to spend some quality time together just the two of you.
Going off a bit here but some people have taken it too far and thier health has suffered from excessive online gaming and many a relationship and even marriages have broken down because of it, lost jobs and all sorts. Of course this is the extreme and I'm not saying this is the case here.
If your bf would rather play football 3-4 hours every night than spend time with you then this would be equally as bad as WOW.
And on a bit more light hearted note take a look at the award winning South Park show featuring WOW:
http://www.southparkzone.com/episodes/1008/Make-Love-Not-Warcraft.html
Quite amazing how a game which allows people to live in a fantasy world take over some peoples lives so much when you think about it.
And on a more serious note, take a look at these:
http://www.wowdetox.com/
http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gamesgear/0,39029441,49285482,00.htm
Best of luck :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): As a guy who plays World of Warcraft, and has a very serious sexually active relationship all I can say is the more you get upset at him about a game the worse it will become.
I use to date a girl who hated me spending my free time playing the game, and it really drove a wedge between us. She seemed to be jealous to be honest, and would rather have me sit on the couch (in the same room as the computer) and watch some crappy TV shows instead. It would be like him constantly complaining about something you do that you find fun/relaxing. It does sound like he's playing it a lot, and that is definitely not your fault. He basically has to figure himself first though.
From my perspective though, I know playing really helps me unwind, and as ridiculous as this sounds playing the game actually helped me learn how to manage my time very well (I am a good student ~3.7 in Bio major). My current g/f and I play the game together, and doesn't shun me for playing a game the majority of people have deemed "uncool".
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female
reader, xxshaunaxx +, writes (4 February 2008):
i was in this exact situation. i noticed my guy was playing WoW instead of going out with friends & stuff like that. he then suggested i give playing it a try. well, im hooked, & our relationship is better than ever. (apparently there is something sexy about girls that play video games..?) idk, lol. but our relationship is doing great right now even though we are 100 miles away & only get to see each other maybe once a month...
good luck!
--shauna
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male
reader, maxsteel86 +, writes (4 February 2008):
 You dont think playing MMOGs are 'cool'? Well guess what, its a bigger thing than you think, a lotta guys (especially college guys) play them. If its just world of warcraft that you have a problem against, ask him to switch games. There's loads out there. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the things you do when you go out are boring and he'd prefer to play his games instead? I'm not saying that as a fact but it sure is possible dont you think?
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reader, Somethingeasy +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Lol, ha ha. The world of war craft is more important than your relationship. Thats a little cazy. It may be his fun, but you are just going to have to except it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): Personally I think these types of things are anti-social. What you need to ask yourself is if, when you have got your finals out the way and the stress is less, you want a boyfriend who prefers this to human beings then ok. It sounds as if you are a sociable woman so at some point you will want to draw the line. I would stop mentioning things to him, just go out anyway and say "See you later". I doubt he'll be that bothered but just in case he does care he will start to sit up and take notice - some guys need things slamming in their face before they get the message.
The more energy you give it the less you will have for yourself. Put yourself first for now and spend some time pampering yourself - ensure his 'nerd' time equals your 'indulgence' time. Decide to put this issue on hold until you can deal with it all more easily and study is out the way. Also - don't protect his reputation from your friends - tell them he prefers his little 'toys' and that its getting you down. This will help you deal with it and they will be on your side trust me. It is not a reflection on you but a sad reflection on him. He is the loser in all of this. As for making your relationship work it will only do so with a distinct change on his part.
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female
reader, rachy-baby-helps +, writes (4 February 2008):
 Try relieving stress levels by doing something you find fun and rewarding (going out with mates, exercise etc) Don't stress about the future, because its the present that's getting to you and worrying about times to come will make it worse.As for your finals, as long as you are revising, but having fun aswel, and getting enough 'you' time you should be fine.I think you need to have a proper heart to heart with your boyfriend. He could be amusing himself on the computer because you are stressed about evrything else and he feels in the way. Or he could just be trying to enjoy his passion with people that share the same interest.I believe you should try and interact with his fantasy worls too, get involved in something he likes to do.I know this is a harsh look on it, but some people that spend their time on the computer are having internet relationships because their home lives are proving stressful.You should take some time out to spend with your partner doing things you both love, and strengthen your relationship.I hope this helpsGood Luck :-)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2008): WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW Hun please listen and listen REALLY CAREFULLY world of warcraf is an addictive video game and if anything i would tell you to play with him ( he would love that ) and if your not a gamer and cant play games just relax your not alone world of warcraft has been doing this to gfs for the last 3 years i know i know you probably feel like hes jerking off to world of warcraft but trust me eventually he will ween off it like i did and you have to let him know you will be there for him and support him and trust me nothing is hotter to a guy then a girl playing world of warcraft with him ill guarentee he will be all over you :P just saying but if you cant play those kinds of games just ask him if he could get off the computer to talk :) just you shouldent be breaking up with him or you will just be doing what everyone else is (i should know i lost many a girl friends to world of warcrack) and the last thing we need is to be depressed playing a game we want to be happy knowing we can leave the virtual world and be in the arms of someone we love right after :)
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